Is it possible to achieve a manic state that is also functional?

[braindeadbedhead]

This is a long shot, but I figure I can't be the only one who has ever had this thought. Is there a way to induce a state that includes the productivity/happiness of mania - without all the extra bullshit? 😅

Mania is better than any drug, the euphoria is incomparable. Every time I skip a few days of sleep, feel an increase in energy, or anything that might be the beginning of an episode, I think - ''Please let this be the onset of the best feeling in the world. I can't do this shit anymore''. I feel so guilty admitting to that, because I know that being manic and being functional are generally not compatible. I also don't ever want to end up in hospital again, because that never fails to be a de-humanizing experience.

I have not had any symptoms of mania since my last hospital admission, three whole years ago. It was the first and only manic episode that I've ever had, and it lasted for about three months. I feel like I could have avoided hospital completely if I had experienced mania without the accompanying psychosis. If I could just achieve that level of elation without:

• rapid speech
• word-salad
• delusional beliefs
• dangerously impulsive acts (e.g. jumping out of a car on the highway because the sky looked beautiful and I wanted a loser look)

I look back on those ugly symptoms and I could never cope with them now. I go to college full-time, I work, and I have so much to lose if I lost the ability to communicate with others and behave safely. On the other hand - my life just feels so damn gray and stagnant; I miss feeling invincible. 

Edited October 14 by braindeadbedhead

[Iceberg]

I know what you mean, but it’s always a case of “it’s good til it’s not” and you end up trashing your whole life 

[notloki]

Nope.

[sugarsugar]

Don’t I wish. But no. I can get on the point of being around the midpoint of moods but manic, it all goes to hell. 

[CeremonyNewOrder]

No. If you are functional, you are not manic. 

[saintalto]

Mania can’t be contained. 

[Gearhead]

No, there isn’t. You might manage a few days of increased productivity in the very beginning, but you can’t control mania. If you induce it or let it go when it starts on its own, you’re dooming yourself.