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Wonderful.Cheese

How to socialize? Need advice for upcoming soon yikes

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I fear I have forgotten how to socialize with people. I haven’t done so in a very long time. I have no friends and it’s been ages since my therapy groups at the county clinic were stopped (my only form of socialization). I have no friends. I only have my mom and husband to see.

I want to try this local library knitting group (held online for now) but I’m nervous. But also manic enough maybe to try. But also nervous.

How do you socialize? Right now I’m thinking of a million excuses not to try the group. I don’t want to get called weird again as happened to me before.

Edited by Wonderful.Cheese

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Being “manic enough” to try socializing sounds appealing on the surface, but in truth is not a good time to start trying to make friends. You’re a lovely person, Chee. Get your mania under control first so that people can meet the real you.

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15 hours ago, Gearhead said:

Being “manic enough” to try socializing sounds appealing on the surface, but in truth is not a good time to start trying to make friends. You’re a lovely person, Chee. Get your mania under control first so that people can meet the real you.

Thank you gear for your wisdom. I followed your advice. I decided to wait for the next group meeting which is not next week, but the week after. Hopefully things will be better by then and I will be in a better state of mind and can join the group. I think my tdoc might be disappointed but I will explain to her about: mania. She doesn't get anything besides depression or anxiety. I guess I need to educate her. Time for professor cheese to bring out the textbooks. LOL

15 hours ago, dancesintherain said:

I second gearhead.  I get why it seems like it might help, but really it's just likely to start things off on a bad foot. 

So true. Thank you dances for your wisdom too. I don't want to start things off on a bad foot. So I did not attend last night's knitting group. I was a little bummed but I will see how I'm doing in 2 weeks when the group meets again and reassess and go from there. Thank you again for helping me.

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I am really bad in this catagory. Seems like I get way too comfortable being the third wheel in a friendship, you know the one that just tags along when two friends go out? That's me. I truly think that at this stage of my life I am too weird to have any real, close, soul-bearing types of friendships. 

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19 hours ago, hopelessromantic said:

I truly think that at this stage of my life I am too weird to have any real, close, soul-bearing types of friendships. 

Yep, me too. Which is depressing. I can get on OK with people when I'm not thinking that self-loathing, self-sabotaging shit, but it always comes back. This is sounding grimmer than I intended. Those thoughts do get in the way though. To look on the bright side, there are other lonely weirdos out there. Maybe even someone like me, who's afraid of being ultimately rejected because I'm just too damn weird after all. "Can we talk about nipples?"

Socialising is something which becomes easier with practice, for me at least. I used to barely talk to anyone and be afraid of the simplest social interactions. "The person who served me in the shop knows I'm a freak" type of thing. More talkative now though still insecure as fuck.

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