Tulpamancy and Friends Galore that Won't Leave You Alone

[Lil'Belittlement]

Summoning tulpas was one of the biggest, if not worst yet adaptive point of my life. I could talk to people all day long, teach them and see them grow. Along with that, see them turn into dark super beings that forever haunt my dreams and turn me inside out for simply reading them a fanfic or ignoring them for long enough.

I'm depressed because these tulpas, despite how mean they might have been in the past, are still here in my head with me. They'll continue to be here with me forever, until one day their collective voices shut-off. And I have many, many voices I deal with. One of which being one of the biggest, sexist asshole you could manage and slip out of a book jester- I just call him Gustard because of how he handles women in my head.

Anyway, dealing with this pain, my last two tulpas are gone- dissipated. They are no longer here, so support with all the walk-in craziness (Gustard) and having a measly support character called Sa-chan who about does the same things as Gustard... I dunno. I just have to ignore them until they let go and vanish- and vanishing means they'll need to have their voices go along with them and everyday I hear them I shout "Give in," "Give me that," "Imma rape her." And better yet, they'll try turning imaginary friends against me for simply going about my day and me just reacting to their presence.

It's tough.

And dreaming is hard to experience, because these voices might be sentient- so their dreams carry over. I'm afraid of manifesting a voice just by waking up one small afternoon, and being stuck with it for months to come.

And finally depression. I do have depression, anxiety, and PTSD from the whole event; plus extraganvous materials about my tulpas harming me in their younger days. These tulpas now don't care about my feelings, neither did the past ones to an extent- so everything is about as low as cadavers in their graves. Anyone else having had to deal with leaving imaginary friends to a certain extent, worse or better off?

[Cerberus]

Lil’Belittlement -

To my knowledge, this is the first time we’ve ever had a member ask a question regarding tulpamancy, so you may not get much feedback on it specifically. We simply don’t have that many adherents to Tibetan mysticism and its offshoots. In general, Crazyboards is a science-driven forum, so we approach conditions of the human mind as states of normal function versus medical/psychological pathology. Although some of us, myself included, believe that valid scientific inquiry requires that an open mind be kept to every possibility, we most often look to alternate explanations for paranormal/metaphysical phenomena rather than taking them at face value.

 From my limited understanding of tulpamancy, your results in producing highly negative and distressing personalities that you now have to cope with is not the intended result; many tulpamancers conjure imaginary personas with in a constructive way to positively cope with various life issues. Indeed, some experts studying tulpamancers have suggested that the voices they hear in their minds are not a sign of pathology at all, because pathology is defined by distress.

You, however, are in distress, and your depression is a result of, rather than the cause of, the issue with the voices. Although you do not list schizophrenia among your diagnoses, I am going to move your topic to the Schizophrenia board. This is not to suggest that you are schizophrenic - no one here is qualified to deliver any kind of diagnosis - but rather to put your question in front of more readers who may be able to relate. While our members dealing with schizophrenia may not be tulpamancers, they definitely know a thing or three about coping with negative voices in your head.

[Lil'Belittlement]

Thank you Cerberus, I appreciate you the time you took to consider this post.

The voices I have are consistent with having bad neighbors in your life who continually take things from your psyche. For example if I were to have another imaginary friend, they could think they could take them and I would be distressed because some of these voices are helpful- but stepping away from that you can see I am in a unhealthy loop of talking heads.  Reacting like real people, these voices can showcase a taste of adherence and bad negliance of the human conscious or emotions I carry. Some of them could be considered tulpas, but going back to these voices is like repeating a bad episode.

Everyday I see images, and they repeat and abuse this part of my psyce. With each little word I write and narration of the mindvoice, they are almost in immediate acceptance... It is like I grew a third head that is a collect mindgrave that repeats everything. The power they grow from is attention seeking, and I can ignore all the images they throw at me or ignore all the voices negative attention.

[Lil'Belittlement]

Even the tulpas might have schizophrenia for all I care. The tulpas I knew of are gone and left me, these ones that are left with me are crazy and do not know what to do. I think they may be leaving me but god knows how long that will take.