gabagaba Posted December 8, 2020 Share Posted December 8, 2020 Over the past,i would say three weeks the way my OCD has been manifesting is in commands i get to do this/don't do that.Maddening,but not as bad as what i am experiencing at this moment.Got in the door from the store and almost immediately went into worst-case-scenario head.Too late in the day to call my pdoc,trying to remember what he would say about my fears,but it is so so hard.The intensity of these fears and the resulting anxiety are unbearable. i just started taking clonidine a few days ago and have found it works incredibly well for the physical manifestations of my anxiety,but at moments like this,it does not seem like anything will touch it. Tried to shock myself with a cold shower and having tea (and actually,typing this seems to be helping). For those of you who experience these horrible spikes of intrusive thoughts and ruminations and anxiety,what do you do? i usually end up leaving a message for my pdoc or i end up pacing.i get completely stuck i the thought loop and can't seem to escape.Luckily my pdoc is very patient with me,always calls me back and is my voice of reason. To people in my life who have repeatedly told me to use my logic i can only say that OCD *is* my logic.Everything it comes up with makes perfect sense,even if even i know how bizarre and outlandish my fears are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CeremonyNewOrder Posted December 8, 2020 Share Posted December 8, 2020 I wish I had an easy answer but no med has been able to touch my OCD. Thus, I have to rely on therapy. My therapist uses exposure therapy. Basically, instead of fighting off or avoiding the distressing thought or situation, you actually try to expose yourself to it as much as is comfortable and safe. The idea is you come to see that your OCD isn't real and thoughts are just thoughts. I hope I'm making sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gabagaba Posted December 8, 2020 Author Share Posted December 8, 2020 16 hours ago, CeremonyNewOrder said: I wish I had an easy answer but no med has been able to touch my OCD. Thus, I have to rely on therapy. My therapist uses exposure therapy. Basically, instead of fighting off or avoiding the distressing thought or situation, you actually try to expose yourself to it as much as is comfortable and safe. The idea is you come to see that your OCD isn't real and thoughts are just thoughts. I hope I'm making sense. Of course you're making sense...."thoughts are just thoughts".i have got to remember that.My pdoc always tells me that when i get some horrific thought to tell myself it is simply a misfiring of neurons. i am trying to do this,it just still really can overpower me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Complicated toad Posted December 11, 2020 Share Posted December 11, 2020 I get this, I know what you're talking about. I don't have a good answer because I have not had good control over my OCD either, but sometimes I just accept it and let myself do the compulsion which is probably exactly what you're not supposed to do but when the anxiety is overwhelming and I feel like I have to go back to the door and tap it it eight times in sets of four over and over I might say "okay OCD have your way, I will give you one more set of 32 and then please leave me alone" And like ceremony said above, I remind myself they are just thoughts and this is just a mean nasty thing my brain does to me and the panic will not last forever. I've come to a place of accepting my brain has some sort of a wiring problem and it will do this sometimes but once the awful feeling passes (and it does eventually) I will be okay for a while. I also will tell myself out loud how to handle it "it is Thursday, you have checked the door. You know you checked the door because you noticed this thing on the wall that you didn't notice before. You know the stove is off. You have done everything you can. Everything is okay and you can move on." This is probably terrible advice and not what a therapist would say to do but considering I can't seem to get rid of the intrusive thoughts, I'm dealing with them like they are an annoying neighbor - I know I'll end up having to listen to them complain so I just let them say their piece and do my best to move on once I've given them adequate time to bother me. If the panic is still overwhelming sometimes I just allow myself to yell and cry it out and I tire myself out. Again, probably not great advice but I am trying different things to see what gets me through it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Complicated toad Posted December 11, 2020 Share Posted December 11, 2020 One more thing I did tonight with a worst case thought I couldn't get rid of is I did research into "if this terrible thing really happens, what are my options.". I sort of reassured myself that there could be a way to get through it if the terrible thing happened. This technique may not work for all fears but maybe for some......I suppose it could feed in to others so you may need to use discretion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gabagaba Posted December 12, 2020 Author Share Posted December 12, 2020 On 12/10/2020 at 9:17 PM, Complicated toad said: I get this, I know what you're talking about. I don't have a good answer because I have not had good control over my OCD either, but sometimes I just accept it and let myself do the compulsion which is probably exactly what you're not supposed to do but when the anxiety is overwhelming and I feel like I have to go back to the door and tap it it eight times in sets of four over and over I might say "okay OCD have your way, I will give you one more set of 32 and then please leave me alone" And like ceremony said above, I remind myself they are just thoughts and this is just a mean nasty thing my brain does to me and the panic will not last forever. I've come to a place of accepting my brain has some sort of a wiring problem and it will do this sometimes but once the awful feeling passes (and it does eventually) I will be okay for a while. I also will tell myself out loud how to handle it "it is Thursday, you have checked the door. You know you checked the door because you noticed this thing on the wall that you didn't notice before. You know the stove is off. You have done everything you can. Everything is okay and you can move on." This is probably terrible advice and not what a therapist would say to do but considering I can't seem to get rid of the intrusive thoughts, I'm dealing with them like they are an annoying neighbor - I know I'll end up having to listen to them complain so I just let them say their piece and do my best to move on once I've given them adequate time to bother me. If the panic is still overwhelming sometimes I just allow myself to yell and cry it out and I tire myself out. Again, probably not great advice but I am trying different things to see what gets me through it. Thank you for your reply,and i am so sorry about your struggle with OCD. Yes,i need to remind myself that the panic will indeed pass.It is so hard in the moment though.i listen to my OCD all the time and i talk back to it too.i like your idea of self talk with compulsions.That could help me if i am out somewhere worrying that i left the stove on. i am having so much trouble not allowing my OCD to control me.i can cope ok for the most part with the compulsions,but the intrusive thoughts,the simple product of those misfiring neurons,is something i am having a terrible time with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Complicated toad Posted December 12, 2020 Share Posted December 12, 2020 11 hours ago, gabagaba said: Quote i am having so much trouble not allowing my OCD to control me. This is exactly how I feel at times. I can't seem to find a treatment that works, so my solution is to accept it and try to live alongside it. I read that trying to suppress or avoid the intrusive thoughts makes them more powerful in your mind, so I acknowledge them as casually as I can (oh it's you again) and try to move on (sometimes easier said than done) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gabagaba Posted December 14, 2020 Author Share Posted December 14, 2020 On 12/12/2020 at 5:13 PM, Complicated toad said: This is exactly how I feel at times. I can't seem to find a treatment that works, so my solution is to accept it and try to live alongside it. I read that trying to suppress or avoid the intrusive thoughts makes them more powerful in your mind, so I acknowledge them as casually as I can (oh it's you again) and try to move on (sometimes easier said than done) That is helpful,thank you.i tend to fight the thoughts and that i do think that intensifies them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CeremonyNewOrder Posted December 15, 2020 Share Posted December 15, 2020 I just wanted to add that I found the book Brain Lock to be helpful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gabagaba Posted December 16, 2020 Author Share Posted December 16, 2020 On 12/14/2020 at 7:04 PM, CeremonyNewOrder said: I just wanted to add that I found the book Brain Lock to be helpful Thank you for reminding me of that book.i haven't read it in years,maybe time to pick it up again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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