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did I do the right thing?


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I don't know if it was the right thing to do...But, when I saw my GP yesterday afternoon to check in re my efexor withdrawal progress, I told her that I dissociate...that sometimes I space out and go back to like I was when I was bullied or in the middle of my dysfunctional family...that proximity tolerance is the real major problem for me...always has been and still is...and that no meds have touched on easing it for more than a week.....

This comes as I've just been informed by HR of the decision to put me on 'back room duties' (as opposed to being face to face with public as I have been) for 6 months to be reviewed then...because of my depression/anxiety and how it affects me at work. (its mainly demanding customers and those who enter into my fragile emotional-physical space that trouble me...)This starts from after next weekend....and so I opened the convo with my GP by talking about this. (see thread in Depression for about the work thing...)

I told her that I was bullied for 10 years at school, and also suffered from my father's behaviour....his threats to send me away, him strapping me once to my bed....

I also told her that not *all* of me is Depressed...I have parts of me that are well and cope....

I don't know what she thought...but I feel it was important to tell her, as I'm working so deeply with all this in therapy....and I'll try and tell my psychiatrist when I see him...(in a month and a half....  NHS)because it only makes sense that those who manage my medication should know what its really like to be in my mind and body and life...

But...was it the right thing to tell my GP? I don't know.....In some part of me it makes sense I told her...but ...others are incredulous for my having been open about what everyone in my childhood swept away.....did she NEED to know?.....?????

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I don't know what she thought...but I feel it was important to tell her, as I'm working so deeply with all this in therapy....and I'll try and tell my psychiatrist when I see him...(in a month and a half....  NHS)because it only makes sense that those who manage my medication should know what its really like to be in my mind and body and life...

But...was it the right thing to tell my GP? I don't know.....In some part of me it makes sense I told her...but ...others are incredulous for my having been open about what everyone in my childhood swept away.....did she NEED to know?.....?????

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree with you, that is I think it was important for you that you told your GP. Sounds like you feel comfortable with your GP and trust her which is great. I would strongly suggest you work up the nerve or whatever to be sure to tell your pdoc too, as you said all the folks involved in your health care and medication management should all have all the info.

Did your GP need to know? I think it is more important or sigificant that you wanted to tell her and/or perhaps you felt she needed to know. As far as any details you told your GP, remember she is ethically bound to mantain doc/patient confidentiality. I  hope that can make you feel better less worried about telling her.

Telling her and trusting her must have been difficult!

Erika

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Guest ~Aurelie~

i have struggled wondering such things myself. however, over time i have come to learn within myself (and it's going to be different for everyone. i don't expect this to be exactly the way it is for you but just thought i'd share anyway), that i must ask inside before going ahead with CERTAIN decisions. i can't do that with ALL decisions because sometimes i just feel like i know better, if that makes any sense. but when i'm unsure because parts are causing an uproar, i try to ask inside and find out what the problem is and if protecting them in such a case turns out to be more important than telling a doctor, then that's what i do.

i have not chosen to tell my GP about parts. for many reasons across all parts, one of them being to protect, i am not very open about them. however i have told her about the ptsd and that i dissociate. also i don't think a lot of GPs know much about dissociative identities or dissociative amnesia. some psychiatrists don't even know very much about these conditions. in fact it seems to be difficult for dissociatives (i have found this too) to find proper treatment because there are not many doctors specializing in dissociation.

do you do any journalling with parts? or. have you been working on any kind of  communication with them outside of the therapists office?

i wish you the best with this and hope you aren't beating yourself up about decisions you make. it's not easy. i think you're doing great! it is obvious to me you made the GP decision in hopes of helping all of you. maybe help parts to see that too. i dunno. i'm no expert. i'm still learning myself!

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thank you both for responding so promptly and so supportively. I really appreciate it.

My dreams after I went to bed, following getting up early to sneak online...(my flatmates always want to use the phoneline later on....)confirmed that it is indeed a healthy thing I did in telling my GP...

I am lucky with my GP...have been seeing her regularly for over a year now....she is warm and grounding and I like her.

I am getting in touch with the protective mother part of my personality.....developing it in a healthy way...she wants to ensure that all her 'children' get the right care and attention so that they can grow up healthy and well. 'This time round....'

yes, I am doing journalling, have also done artwork and poetry.....

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