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Dating while Ill


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Well I am getting to know some of the guys from the ad I placed. I went out with one this evening it was fun. Its kinda scary and vulnerable when I know what I know that they dont know. ya know? That I go to day treatment at a pysch hospital and that I'm on disability and wasnt laid off like I told them, plus I have all these medice bottles in here. I wonder how long the charade will last. But I havent been with anyone in over a year, its just not fair. I will pretend until I get what I want  ;)  

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Way to go girl!!!!!!  I'm so happy to see you getting out there and so glad to hear you had FUN.  No need to tell a date the gory details at this point.  if it looks like it is getting serious, worry about it then.

Just have fun.  ;):):P:ninja:

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Thanks Dee ! he first guy seems more down to earth and understanding, I think ?? And he is a loner like me. We met at this place that has all these wine bottles around the room and it was really nice, and it felt good to out with someone. I felt comfortable talking to him and he didnt seem judgemental about me not working. We had some samual adams and talked for two hours even though it seemed longer. He wanted to hang out longer but i wanted to get home because first meetings shouldnt go on too long in my opinion. We walked to my car and then i left. I need to get better so I can have healthy relationship.

Well I just talked to the 2nd guy who answered my ad. His ass is too outgoing and it intimidated me. He manages a business, horseback rides, has friends & family in the area, works out, blah blah. its all too much I foundmyself shrinking as he told me abouthimself, he seems sooo outgoing, and I couldnt really talk too much about what I do on the weekends because iI am a homebody. Dammit I hate losing ! I want to be able to tell people about my wonderful life and hobbies.

more to come, there is one more I need to talk to he is 7 yrs younger...

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Guy #1 sounds great. :P

BTW, my guy is TEN years younger, so big deal.

Keep me posted!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

yeah this next one is 30 and he keeps talkin about the woman has to also bring something to the table, and be stable, mentally also. Guess I'll just fake it till get me some of that young meat  ;)

I'm going back to the site to see who answered  :)

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So, at what point would you tell a guy you are mentally interesting?

In my personal experience, waiting till you are pregnant wih his second child for your huband to say "By the way, I'm nuts" is WAY NOT COOL!

(Yes, we are still together after 19 years, but some early disclosure would have been nice!!!)

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Don't worry about it.  To the guys, you are who they see, not who you see.  When you tell them, it only explains why you do some of the things you do, not who you are.  The fact that you are getting treatment and not working is pretty minor.  Tell him about these things after he knows who you are, and let him decide what's important.

PS. Guy #2 sounds nuts.  Guy #1 sounds nicely flawed. Guy #2 sounds like he's going to snap at any given moment.  Perfection is always an illusion.

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Hey Sensation,

I really admire your ability to go for it! I have pretty much decided that even medicated I am too insane for a relationship. Talk about something making me shudder...blick.

Fake it till you feel it. That's a familiar phrase.

Anyway, if you can handle it, more power to you. I guess I am just afraid of rejection. I think I would disclose on the initial phone call. Not that there would BE an initial phone call! I come off pretty sane at first but then I just can't help it and I freak out. Ahhh, MI is SO much FUN!

Keep us posted so we can live our lives vicariously through you!

Sam

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I'd say be private about it unti you've got him figured out to the point where you know if you really want to invest in him or not. Do not invest in people who would not accept you. If he seems like a person who makes you comfortable and gives good vibes, you could make some jokes about being a bit off maybe, and admit to having a break to think things over. he may or may not notice your meds.

I came out to my boyfriend last night, and then he told me things about himself I hadn't known. it was a special moment for us. i'm happy we had that.

i don't think that is the fairy tale that will happen for everyone. i've been dumped for being bp before. now im add and even told him that. he says he thinks he's also bp and add but un-dxed and un-rxed. probably knowing him! but hey, personal choice.

it is your health care and your business. tell him when it is right, when you feel right. you'll know in your heart i think. disclosure is hard. knowing when to disclose is harder. but it is something that has to be done at some point, hopefully before he slides that band of gold on your finger and you mutter in your vows "to have and to hold, till bipolar disorder do us part!" lol

loon

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Whenever I talk to these guys we get on the topic of what i did for the day and I am having to change the subject and pretend to not be a miserable hermit. I dont think I am ready for all of this, too much disappointment and trying to be happy when I am not.

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hi sensations,

i know what you mean about the dating thing being a drag. i've been on online dating for a while now but have only been contacted by people who weren't at all what i was looking for. it seems like people don't really read what you've written about what you're looking for. 'very outdoorsy, athletic.' you'd think that would be clearish but instead i get contacted by people who are anything but.

but far more irritating is that people i've contacted don't reply. i always make a point of replying. it's good manners, after all.

good luck to you in your search. i'm more likely to meet someone through my work.

take care,

grouse.

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i know what you mean about the dating thing being a drag. i've been on online dating for a while now but have only been contacted by people who weren't at all what i was looking for. it seems like people don't really read what you've written about what you're looking for. 'very outdoorsy, athletic.' you'd think that would be clearish but instead i get contacted by people who are anything but.

but far more irritating is that people i've contacted don't reply. i always make a point of replying. it's good manners, after all.

good luck to you in your search. i'm more likely to meet someone through my work.

take care,

grouse.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So what else are you looking for other than outdoorsy and athletic? I know that there are lots of us who think you are handsome and intelligent and funny, three wonderful qualities. Lots of people who would be attracted to you, but you not necessarily to them. That is the interesting thing. Do you ever think that the type of person you are attracted to is not attracted to you, and the type of person you are NOT attracted to is attracted to you? That's how I feel.

Anyway, hope you find what you are looking for....at work!

Sam

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Sensation, don't let them get you down. People in those sorts of situations feel anonymous and say things they wouldn't normally say. Just blow them off. And if this dating stuff thing bums you out as a whole, forget it. It's not worth it.

Hang in there,

Sam

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Sensation, don't let them get you down. People in those sorts of situations feel anonymous and say things they wouldn't normally say. Just blow them off. And if this dating stuff thing bums you out as a whole, forget it. It's not worth it.

Hang in there,

Sam

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know Sam but I feel like I am losing time already. I'm getting too old. And I'm tired of being alone. But having such a low self esteem right now with not being able to keep a job iits really not a good time to date but then again I am really lonely right now and could use a distraction.

****************************

Well guy #2 has No answer next to the sexual orientation portion of his profile  ;) I think he's bisexual but I'm scared to ask so soon...

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Sensation, don't let them get you down. People in those sorts of situations feel anonymous and say things they wouldn't normally say. Just blow them off. And if this dating stuff thing bums you out as a whole, forget it. It's not worth it.

Hang in there,

Sam

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know Sam but I feel like I am losing time already. I'm getting too old. And I'm tired of being alone. But having such a low self esteem right now with not being able to keep a job iits really not a good time to date but then again I am really lonely right now and could use a distraction.

****************************

Well guy #2 has No answer next to the sexual orientation portion of his profile

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