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OCD and memory connection?


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So after performing my ocd compulsion one time, i immediately forget that i did the compulsion or not. So I do the compulsion again the 2nd time.

Is my memory bad or is it something else ?

Anybody know something about this ?

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15 hours ago, jarn said:

I've always thought it was about the compulsion.  I don't trust my memory to know that I did it, so I feel compelled to check again.  And again...

Well after thinking alot i think it is indeed my obsessive doubts. I doubt my own memory that i have not done the compulsion.

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i'm somewhere on the OCD spectrum too and my memory fails me on simple tasks often. did i actually save my file? did i lock the door? did i take my meds? i think it's less about memory and more about doubt, for me. i remember going to do something but i don't remember if i did it right. it's sort of magical thinking -- i know i hit the save button, but i don't know if it actually saved. i know my cat was across the room when i left but i don't know if i didn't somehow close the door on his tail. better check.

when my meds are doing a good job and my OCD stuff is less bothersome, it's easier to make myself leave a task behind without double-checking it.

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I just dont trust my eyes and memory.  I have doubts about them.

I can clearly see the door is closed,  so due to trust issues, I keep checking the door again and again. 

Similarly i can clearly feel my hands are dry, i dont trust my feelings, so i dry my hands with towel again and again.

Edited by clinic
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On 2/26/2021 at 10:50 AM, jarn said:

I've always thought it was about the compulsion.  I don't trust my memory to know that I did it, so I feel compelled to check again.  And again...

This. 

6 hours ago, clinic said:

I just dont trust my eyes and memory.  I have doubts about them.

I can clearly see the door is closed,  so due to trust issues, I keep checking the door again and again. 

Similarly i can clearly feel my hands are dry, i dont trust my feelings, so i dry my hands with towel again and again.

And this.

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I join the group in agreeing its the OCD, like you and others I do the same things.  It's not as much that I don't remember, but I don't know if I can trust that my memory is legitimate.  I check the door, but then I wonder if I really checked it or am I mixing it up with yesterday?  How do I know the check I just did really happened today and didn't happen another time?  I usually have to go back multiple times and add "markers" to the behavior to convince myself I really did it.  So I stand in front of the garage door and tap something in the room (in specific multiples of times) while saying out loud events that happened that day (I know this is real because I'm tapping the door and today is Saturday because I went to the grocery store and bought a new kind of cereal).  Sometimes it helps but sometimes I'm still out checking the door again because the intrusive thoughts aren't leaving me alone.  It can get really frustrating.

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