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Waiting for assessment & struggling....


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15 minutes ago, dancesintherain said:

I'm listening--I just sadly don't have any useful ideas. 

Thank you so much for caring....that means the world to me right now during this lonely time for me.

Thank you.

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I'm glad you updated.  I think getting on a list now is a good idea.

I am sure this is affecting your mood.  I was eating low fat for a long time (zyprexa has raised my lipids) and when I started eating fat again - my mood was WAY better.  

I think being caught in that restrict/binge cycle is one of the worst. 

It's good you can recognize springtime is a bad time.

What about intensive treatment for your OCD, if it feeds the ED?  At least until you can get specialized ED treatment?  Just spitballing.

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6 hours ago, jarn said:

I'm glad you updated.  I think getting on a list now is a good idea.

I am sure this is affecting your mood.  I was eating low fat for a long time (zyprexa has raised my lipids) and when I started eating fat again - my mood was WAY better.  

I think being caught in that restrict/binge cycle is one of the worst. 

It's good you can recognize springtime is a bad time.

What about intensive treatment for your OCD, if it feeds the ED?  At least until you can get specialized ED treatment?  Just spitballing.

Thank you for your reply,jarn.

I would so so love to have intensive treatment for my OCD but I don't know where-

Years ago an inpatient pdoc I had referred me to MacLean in Boston but of course I couldn't get funding.

Anyway,I heard from the hospital that has the partial program.First she said they never received any referral,that i would have to call the EDU at the other hospital and have them resend it.

But then she asked me what my BMI is.and of course when I told her she said they wouldn't accept me.She told me to call the other hospital or go to emerg.

GAH!!!! I have been to emerg and they would not help me!!!

Still waiting to hear from my pdoc.

I hope he doesn't put me on a form.He always says he doesn't like to do it but if I refuse to go back to emerg....

I don't know what to do next.I'll see what he says I guess.

 

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that's frustrating.  have you explored other US options?  I don't know if they are more accommodating of Canadian insurance or not.  One that comes to mind is Renfrew (https://renfrewcenter.com/admissions/insurance-coverage)

 

I almost landed myself there in college, but it would have meant telling my parents that I had a problem, so I didn't go. 

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I really hope something can be worked out.  If not the US...what about other provinces?  Would there be reciprocity with OHIP I wonder.  Talk about between a rock and a hard place :( 

Keep talking to us at least.

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6 hours ago, dancesintherain said:

that's frustrating.  have you explored other US options?  I don't know if they are more accommodating of Canadian insurance or not.  One that comes to mind is Renfrew (https://renfrewcenter.com/admissions/insurance-coverage)

 

I almost landed myself there in college, but it would have meant telling my parents that I had a problem, so I didn't go. 

Thank you so much for the idea...

I would actually love to go to residential rather than do another hospital program,but my pdoc says my province rarely pays for treatment in the US..

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1 hour ago, jarn said:

I really hope something can be worked out.  If not the US...what about other provinces?  Would there be reciprocity with OHIP I wonder.  Talk about between a rock and a hard place :( 

Keep talking to us at least.

Thank you,jarn.

A few years ago my pdoc suggested a program in Guelph,but it is $500 a day (maybe more by now) and they only had one bed for ohip coverage.I don't know why-

I am sure it is the same with other programs in other provinces,but i will look into them.It can't hurt.

Missed my pdoc's call yet again but he left me a  message that he had talked to the woman at the hospital with the partial program and she gave him the number of the intake person for inpatient,he wanted to speak to me first but it looks like he will put the referral in for me.I am sure he will.They take the "sickest" patients first-I don't know if I am "sick enough" compared to other people,but my bmi is pretty low right now.Maybe I won't have to wait very long....

Ten beds!!! What is wrong with our government in its lack of funding for mental health?!? It just makes me livid!

 

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It makes me livid too.  As if navigating this wasn't awful enough.  

I hope your pdoc can get you in.

I THINK I know what place in Guelph you're talking about - Homewood or something?  I might be getting mixed up.  That would be cash I don't have, and one OHIP bed.  Sigh.

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3 hours ago, jarn said:

It makes me livid too.  As if navigating this wasn't awful enough.  

I hope your pdoc can get you in.

I THINK I know what place in Guelph you're talking about - Homewood or something?  I might be getting mixed up.  That would be cash I don't have, and one OHIP bed.  Sigh.

Yes,Homewood....

There is also Westwind in Brandon,Manitoba,but it is also hundreds of dollars a day and it doesn't have the best reputation.My pdoc had other suggestions for a couple of newer residential places that had opened up,but I found out they are only for adolescents.

Ugh.That reminds me-i will likely be the oldest in treatment again.This makes me feel so guilty about taking a spot from someone much younger who as I said,has their whole life ahead of them...there is also the fact that I will have little in common with the other patients other than our EDs.Just different life circumstances for someone in their 40's than someone in their 20's...I am coping with issues to do with an aging parent for example,how could they possibly relate to that?

But I am probably being hypercritical and ungracious without even meeting them yet...

Tremendous Guilt Always.

And,I don't even have the referral in yet so I am getting way way ahead of myself aren't I?

Sorry.

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I get it.  It's not a matter of you taking a bed from someone with their whole life left ahead - you've got plenty of life left ahead too.  You're deserving.  

There may be different life circumstances, but I still think you could get some use out of it.  

(My mom's going a bit bonkers too, at times - she's not bad yet, but I can start to see her age decline - it is hard to deal with that even, let alone full-blown things)

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4 hours ago, jarn said:

I get it.  It's not a matter of you taking a bed from someone with their whole life left ahead - you've got plenty of life left ahead too.  You're deserving.  

There may be different life circumstances, but I still think you could get some use out of it.  

(My mom's going a bit bonkers too, at times - she's not bad yet, but I can start to see her age decline - it is hard to deal with that even, let alone full-blown things)

Thank you,jarn.I appreciate your telling me I am deserving...tough for me to believe though.

Finally talked to my pdoc a little while ago and he is putting the referral in for me.I am both relieved and terrified.

I really have to make this work this time.I am going to have ask staff for a lot of extra support around managing my anxiety my first week there so I don't run...but,once again I am getting way way ahead of myself.

I don't even know how long I will have to wait for my assessment...but at least now the ball is rolling huh?

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It is good the ball is rolling.  And that you're recognizing your needs with anxiety.

And you ARE deserving, absolutely.  I know it's hard to believe it, but you deserve health and peace.

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4 hours ago, dancesintherain said:

I'm glad you were able to connect with your psychiatrist.  I hope the assessment happens quickly. 

Thank you so much...

3 hours ago, jarn said:

It is good the ball is rolling.  And that you're recognizing your needs with anxiety.

And you ARE deserving, absolutely.  I know it's hard to believe it, but you deserve health and peace.

Thank you so much for your support through this....

My pdoc was amazing today taking care of everything for me.

Now..now i just wait and try not to freak out too terribly much.

Thank you again.

 

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I was just looking at NEDIC to see if there was a helpline...maybe?  Couldn't tell if it was for people with ED or to get information.  Just trying to think of helps while you wait.  I'm glad your pdoc is so good - that's amazing.  

 

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5 hours ago, jarn said:

I was just looking at NEDIC to see if there was a helpline...maybe?  Couldn't tell if it was for people with ED or to get information.  Just trying to think of helps while you wait.  I'm glad your pdoc is so good - that's amazing.  

 

Oh I forgot about NEDIC,thank you.They will likely refer me to Sheena's Place,but they would be empathetic people to talk to for sure.

Thank you for reminding me of them.

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Well.Another update.(Sorry for so so many posts here...)

Just got an email from the coordinator letting me though that they had received my referral.

The wait time for an assessment is approximately 4 months.

I am currently,by their hospital's standards,nearly 40 lbs underweight.

I will disappear within 4 months.

It goes on to say that my doctors are responsible for my medical monitoring while I am awaiting an assessment.

They said that my doctors "Should support me with emergency room visits."|

This is all so very tragic.It means so so many are suffering right now.

I am scared.

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Four months.  Wow.  It is scary that so many people need help, and so few can access it.  

Would an in-hospital OCD program offer any help?  I honestly have no idea.

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