Jump to content

DID-related humour

Recommended Posts

I've seen lots of threads on the other subforums about the funny things about ADD, borderline, what have you... so I thought there should be one for DID.

I'll post a few things ;)


Some of the Best Things about DID

Your wardrobe provides a multiple choice.

You can take 30 people to the movies, amusement park, etc. for the price of one.

The contents of your refrigerator are always a surprise to you.

Packing for an overnight trip somewhere a couple of hours away provides a lot more adventure than most people get backpacking in the Himalayas.

If someone gives you a CD for a present, you can be fairly sure that at least one of you will like it.

You can clean out your closet, and find toys that are new to you.

If you don

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tips for Job Hunting if you have DID

Enlist the aid of a supportive friend to screen the ads you respond to for realism. You probably are not fully qualified to design missile guidance systems. You may actually not be "fine" working as a prison guard.

Come up with a really good answer for the question "and these other four years you don't mention.......... you were doing what again?" ("Oh, heck, I was in and out of the hospital all the time" and Geez, I was seeing three-headed toads on the corner a lot" are NOT good answers, generally).

Although it is acceptable in some places where they all talk like that (really- they do), in most places it is better not to use the plural pronoun- as in "I know we could do a good job".

Avoid any questions involving "kids". Just don't go there. Really.

I know it's hard, and yes, they are being unreasonable and rigid, but leave your favorite stuffed animal at home, or at least in the car.

It's better not to repeatedly ask "the ADA laws covers mental illness, right? Such a person would have to be given accommodations?"

Take some memory device to keep yourself aware that in their world, there is going to be a "job description" that you will be expected to have some interest in, and presumably a reason why you might be able to fulfill it's requirements. Saying "Huh? Oh, yeah,whatever. I don't even know if I'll remember to show up or why I'm here anyway" is less effective.

If you get a tour, saying "oh boy, I'll put my Tigger poster here", or "I could probably just go in that closet there if I really dissociated big-time" are more often than not not helpful.

If you get introduced to people or shown things, saying "I won't remember- hell, last night I couldn't remember my address" is not necessary.

If you are given a salary figure, look thoughtful or say you'll think about it. Do NOT say "you're going to PAY me?"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Who's Out?

Okay so who's out first?

No Who was out yesterday.


Yes, Who.

Okay I'm asking you who was out and you're telling me Who?

Yes, Who.

Well who are you?

No I'm not Who, I'm Nobody.


Yes I'm Nobody.

But you cant be nobody, You have to be somebody.

No, Somebody's generally angry.

Who is angry?

No, Who is happy. Angry is also angry.

Of course angry is angry, but your definitely somebody.

No, I'm Nobody.

Ok, let me see if i have this... you're no one.

No I'm Nobody... No One was out this morning.

No one was out?

Yeah, No one.

Well if no one was out, who was i taking to then?

No One.


No- No One.

Something's wrong here...

No, Something has been sleeping for a long time.

Who has been sleeping?

No, Something's been sleeping for awhile. Who was out yesterday.

But something has to be someone, doesn't he?

No, Someone is a he, Something is a she.


Huh is a-sexual.


Yeah, Huh is a-sexual.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The closest contribution I can make is about PTSD, often considered a part of the DID spectrum-

You can always see the same thing over again, in case you missed a part of it

You don't have to pay to see horror films- you get the creeped-out feeling at all times for free anyway

It is easy to not trust strangers, because you don't trust anyone anyway

You can pride yourself in being much better prepared for any life situation than anyone else

The ability to fall asleep or stay awake, depending on your preference, at any time

The ability to find meaning in assorted objects and symbols that are meaningless to other people

It is easy to remain free of heartbreak, because you never fall in love in the first place

You live life to the fullest- tonight we'll merry, merry be, tomorrow we'll be sober! Nothing to tie you down!

You have much more time to yourself as you spend less time letting others waste your time

And again,

You can always see the same thing over again, in case you missed it the first time, and you never lose that creeped-out feeling, so there is no need to waste your time and money to go to the movies, or even see a horror film on pay-per-view.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Haha, those are funny. I thought Who was on first...

Good for you. ;)

Doesn't it just go to show, Drumming, that it's all in WHO is making the joke?!

And why not? When you know that THEY know it's painful, then it's a whole different kettle of fish. Then the joking is just along the lines of relieving tension (and not genuine ridicule).


Link to comment
Share on other sites


Oh yes, and... you know you have DID when... a GUY alter is out when your mom wants to go figure out a prom dress, and he picks one that you don't like... he hates pink. (I LOVE pink!!!) He couldn't stand to see himself trying on pink things. So he just pretty much picked one because he was bored and wanted to go home...

I have to say that made me laugh out loud (sorry about the dress though!)

BTW almost half those jokes I've heard from my Mom about Alzheimers. She lives in FLA which is the geronotology capital of the US, and they badly need to diffuse anxiety about the dementias and memory loss.

(Trying now desperately to think of some good jokes about depression, but I can't because I'm too depressed. hahaha. Canned laughter chiming in since the studio audience is stony faced).


Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...