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Can people just give thoughts on something, while I'm waiting on an appointment?

(Lack of) trust in health professionals is huge for me. It has kinda been waves of severity over several years.

Dx Schizoaffective disorder with largely seasonal depression. 

The thoughts of health professionals can either centre around going over old appointments and confrontations. Or thoughts that my whole team is colluding, to control my every move.

Maybe that is what health care teams do? But the nature of the thoughts, in being suspicious that immediate authority figures are against me personally. And the focus on control and monitoring/surveiling is somewhat consistant with previous cycles of delusions, where hallucinations follow after, and that leads to med tweak (And terrible embarrassing realisation that some of my behaviours and outbursts at people were... misguided)

I recently fired them all, except GP. After dietitian and tdoc both asked similar questions on consecutive weeks. That can't be normal

So, TL;DNR is Do doctors and the likes control and monitor by definition? Maybe they do, maybe not every move for every person. I think some degree of guiding lifestyle fits the job description. But how much is normal? Is commenting on seeing me walking into a local cafe normal? And judging what I was doing there?

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I'll preface by saying I don't have all the answers, but I know my psych and primary providers have collaborated and sometimes that is good - it is to make sure they don't prescribe things that have bad interactions or could affect the condition the other is treating (example - gp asked pdoc about a med and pdoc said no way could cause mania so gp had to go a different route - or pdoc is concerned about meds that could interfere with blood pressure treatment from the gp).  It could also be coincidence that they asked the same question, if they are all concerned for your health they may have similar concerns.  And there are facets of their job that require them telling you what to do, as they want to use their knowledge to guide you towards good health.

I don't want to discount what you're feeling either, I've experienced feeling like the doctors might be tracking me, but overall, I think it might be a good idea not to make too many changes right now since you recognize that what you're feeling is similar to feelings that turned out misguided and caused problems in the past.  Maybe it is time for a med tweak? It might be better to take change slowly so you have time to weigh out whether it's your symptoms causing the problems.  It seems like you have an inkling it could be, so I'd listen to your inner voice of experience.

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He said that I'm a bit paranoid. Thinks it's early enough that eliminating the anxiety inducing triggers by taking a break from all but essential health care should nip it in the bud

 

He said some of the appointments and interactions which I described between us never happened. That he would remember and shouting matches stick in doctors minds. But I remember them. I described one in detail and his bewildered look was a bit haunting 

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On 9/12/2021 at 10:55 PM, DogMan said:

 

Which admittedly makes sense 

Hold onto the things that make sense.   He has good points about holding off on anxiety triggers until you feel more comfortable.  I think you're doing the right things by talking it out with the one doc and checking in on it here.  

Edited by Complicated toad
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3 minutes ago, Complicated toad said:

Hold onto the things that make sense.   He has good points about holding off on anxiety triggers until you feel more comfortable.  I think you're doing the right things by talking it out with the one doc and checking in on it here.  

Thank you 

 

Apparently my pulse was 134, he said that it's just because I am scared of him 

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