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I get turned around sometimes....


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That's probably why I have more than 10 posts on CrazyBoards, by the time I notice the "introductions" section.

Better late than never! Hello, I'm new, and I have always had all kinds of problems, so you'll see me replying and posting in lots of areas, here, probably. I'm kind of old, a little more than halfway to the end, statistically.

I live in upstate New York, am mainly unemployed since 2005, and brevity is not usually my strong suit. I'm interested in outdoors stuff like kayaking and camping, visual arts, music and poetry, news, science, and dreams.

My spelling and grammar stink. I'm horrible at math. Sometimes I don't realize a joke is a joke, or that I missed the point. It's okay to tell me! Also, my memory has always been terrible - it's probably one of my worst issues. I might ask you the same question numerous times, or divulge the same info to you numerous times, unaware that we already talked about that. Sorry for those things! I have a communication disorder called Autistic Spectrum Disorder, ADHD Primarily Inattentive Type and a little brain atrophy, and a pint size hippocampus. These affect my memory and cognition. As is common in ASD, I share a lot of symptoms with schizophrenia, and have family members with schizophrenia. For personal reasons, I'm holding off on a current schizophrenia evaluation, but had them when I was younger, and passed with flying colors, if that's important to anyone to know. I've had more than one head injury, and I recall 3 strokes caused by prescription medicines. I exhibit a finger pointing dystonia sometimes, with mental strain, like reading, or math. I have a vague memory that started after a fall down the stairs, around age five or six, but it shouldn't really bother anyone here. 🙂 I haven't always avoided recreational drug use, so I wouldn't rule out me ending up in that area of CrazyBoards, too, however, that's not causing an issue for me at the moment. I am a former cigarette smoker, quit since 2007 (You can do it! But it sucks!). Right now I'm being evaluated for anemia, probably pernicious anemia. And that could help explain the hiccups that frequently drive me up the wall, plus some of the psychotic symptoms I've experienced (low O2, high CO2 = hallucinations?). That all reminds me...my gut is a wreck too, IBS, and food sensitivities. (Please don't feed me corn, rice, oats, or processed thickeners.) Despite the IBS and food sensitivities, I managed to look around a while ago, and find that I was obese. So I lost 42 pounds, I'm down to the overweight range, and I'm looking to lose 18 to 28 more. I have chronic pain, and a diagnosis of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, clinical. I've experienced both grand mal and petit mal seizures, but don't think I ever was diagnosed with epilepsy. If I was, that's not a current diagnosis, either. Sleep I sometimes get right, but other times I have bouts of insomnia, and parasomnias. Migraines, Pervasive Depressive Disorder, Anxiety, a history of complex trauma, and PTSD with dissociation are also things I struggle with. I have eczema, asthma, and probably an ulcer, just to top it all off.

I try to find positive, proactive solutions and often seek out natural remedies. I frequently don't respond well to prescription medicines, but I'm sure it's me, not them and I'm not anti-prescription medicine for other people at all. I just exercise caution with it, and prefer to try something else first, because I'm sensitive to stuff. I'm currently seeing a mental health counselor, a naturopathic doctor, and a geneticist.

I'm still trying to find my way around here, so if you catch me wandering aimlessly, please point me in the right direction.

I like vanilla.

I'm looking forward to meeting some people who I can relate to, for a change. 

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Welcome!  I think you will find many like-minded folk here.

In common - bunch of head injuries!  And I love to camp, especially with Toby and the dogs, though sometimes I take off without Toby too (cooties!).

I like canoeing, but have always sucked a bit at kayaking.  When I was a kid and learning to roll (like if you go over and have to push back up) I was ALWAYS falling out under the water.  They kept telling me to 'put your knees against the braces' which I WAS doing - but nobody told me to put my legs down and to the side and there was a space for my knees with the braces to the inside of my knees rather than the outside (so my legs were not directly above the skirt) - then I could get back up right away.  Still, once I mastered that, I was still always better at canoeing.

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Thanks jarn, for the warm welcome!

I only tried the canoe once, with a partner, neither of us knew what we were doing, and it was windy. That's the reason I chose the kayak. I haven't worked on rollng, yet. Last year was the first year I had a kayak, and it's kind of a big clunky thing no serious kayaker would buy. It's been difficult to find a good selection since the pandemic began. I've been wanting to buy one for years, and as soon as I was ready, suddenly everybody took up kayaking. So after a year of turning down the crappy kayaks, I finally caved.

I mostly kayaked on small ponds/lakes, and one lazy (very small) river last year, just to learn. The tiniest waves seemed like looming disaster! But later in the summer, I did get on Lake Ontario once, and the waves were like five feet high. At first I was skiddish, but by the end of the day I was laughing and having fun. A five foot wave doesn't feel that big when you're in it, I guess! I would like to do that again, but I realize it was risky without learning to roll. I'll probably work on that at the beginning of next summer, so I can get back in those waves!

I would like to camp alone, sometimes. That sounds like a nice way to re-set. 

edit: sorry about the head injuries. it's not easy to live with.

Edited by undone
forgot something!
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I am a big blabber at times!  You should've heard me with pdoc yesterday!

And you are very brave for going on Lake Ontario in big waves!  Huge respect.  I'm way too wimpy.  (I can swim well enough, got my bronze cross as a teenager, but am afraid of the water - go figure.  I still swim on small lakes to not let the fear take over but shudder)

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The pdoc deserves it, though! That's what we pay them for.

Thanks for calling me brave. It was actually tempting not to go. The way in to Lake Ontario on our side is through a little pond, and connecting channel. The pond was pretty calm, but as you get in the channel, swells start coming at you from the big lake, and they just get scarier and scarier, if you've never encountered anything like that before. It took about a half hour to inch forward through this 100 foot long channel and reflect upon our impending doom. lol.

The big waves don't really feel that big though. It feels like a little bloop. You might like it sometime. I had to paddle constantly, but I didn't feel stressed about it. I thought it was kind of relaxing. We didn't go any farther out than the end of the pier, so I was confident I could swim back with a life preserver on, if I had to. The roped off swimming area was pretty close, so I felt safe.

On the other hand, as an experienced swimmer, you probably know a bunch of dangers I don't. I probably said eight things in the last two paragraphs that made you blanch at my foolishness. I took a few years of swimming lessons as a kid, but barely remember it. Ignorance is bliss!

 

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Oh no blanching!  

I was thinking - I was canoeing with two friends in Temagami, and we were on a big lake (HUGE for not a great lake) crossing a big bay (also very big) that is known for bad wind on that bay.  18'5" canoe (three of us and 11 days worth of food plus two tents, clothes, sleeping bags, etc).  The lake was windy enough that day we didn't even see motor boats out let alone another canoe.  Got hit by a 3' (ish) following sea (when waves from two different directions come at you from behind) and it was terrifying.  The boat itself was fairly okay - we all got down, paddled like hell - but I had very little stern/steering control.  I was sterning on one wave and the two were paddling on two different waves.  I've never experienced anything like it before (the other two had tall ship experience on the great lakes and knew what was going on).  I managed to get us across the bay and into a little inlet where we were windbound on an island for that day.  Next day was calm, figures!

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I can imagine that! I like to point myself into the waves. I've had motorboat wakes come at me unexpectedly from behind, at an angle, and it's very tippy. In a fully loaded canoe must be even worse. It's good you had experienced partners and got to shore. Weather can surpise you out there! 

Last year we were on Cranberry Lake, and there was a steady wind for three days in a row, but we went on the lake, anyway, one day, hoping to beat a 'storm' which didn't seem to materialize. We got a good way from our camp, before turning back, and I could see one, tiny, dark cloud hanging over the lake. We were laughing at it, saying, "Is that the storm??" But of course, that cloud managed to cross our path and doused us with wind and rain for about 10 minutes, making it hard to paddle and steer, but more importantly, I couldn't open my eyes to see in the rain!

Finally, I just went to shore, and explained the problem, and we just waited it out. It was only another 10 minutes or so before the rain stopped, but I learned my lesson! I needed a windshield, so I now have swimming goggles in my life vest pocket, just in case....

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