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I mentioned this in my blog, but thought I would make it a post.

my daughter is 23 and lives with us.  She graduated college last year and plans to get a teaching credential. Right now she works at the library.  She is afraid to learn to drive so we take her back and forth.  Besides work she stays at home, mostly in her room.  She is afraid of Covid.  She did stay in her room some before, but she was in band in high school, and lived away at college and participated in activities.

my tdoc says we are enabling her to avoid self awareness and how fulfilling is her life?  The thing is, I stay home a lot myself.  Not from fear, just content.  She seems content.  We did not get along for years. She was very critical of me because I act differently. But, after she went to college she has become more tolerant and we actually get along okay.  

I mentioned this at a support group meeting and they said I am enabling her by driving and warned me about kids staying home into there 30s.  I don’t mind driving.  There is a bus but I don’t think she would want to use that because of Covid.

my mother in law is worried she has a mental illness.  She asks if I was like that.  My husband says I was very different.  I was afraid to be around people long before Covid and had some paranoia.

I took her to therapy when she was young.  My symptoms led me to believe she had more issues than she actually did.  I don’t think it helped much but I do think I turned her off to therapy.

We have been fortunate that we have good kids.  I have a son, too.  They never got into drugs, get good grades, no real trouble.  I don’t know if I should be doing something differently or just let her be.

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16 hours ago, confused said:

I mentioned this in my blog, but thought I would make it a post.

my daughter is 23 and lives with us.  She graduated college last year and plans to get a teaching credential. Right now she works at the library.  She is afraid to learn to drive so we take her back and forth.  Besides work she stays at home, mostly in her room.  She is afraid of Covid.

I mentioned this at a support group meeting and they said I am enabling her by driving and warned me about kids staying home into there 30s.

 

Has she ever told you why she is afraid to drive?......Is she fully vaccinated for Covid?

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14 minutes ago, CrazyRedhead said:

Has she ever told you why she is afraid to drive?......Is she fully vaccinated for Covid?

No. I think it is the unknown. She was afraid of the gas stove for awhile but now she cooks.  Yes she is vaccinated. She took off work until she had booster. 

She is mich more likely to confide in my husband than me

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25 minutes ago, confused said:

No. I think it is the unknown. She was afraid of the gas stove for awhile but now she cooks.  Yes she is vaccinated. She took off work until she had booster. 

She is mich more likely to confide in my husband than me

What does your hubby think about her not wanting to drive?

I think it's important to somehow find out why she's afraid.

Edited by CrazyRedhead
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21 hours ago, confused said:

He does not want to push her if she is not comfortable. 

Maybe you could point out some of the good things about having a driver's license.......She would definitely have more employment opportunities, more opportunities to have fun, socialize,  and meet people, etc......Does she have any friends that have a license?

Edited by CrazyRedhead
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On 3/21/2022 at 1:45 PM, CrazyRedhead said:

What does your hubby think about her not wanting to drive?

I think it's important to somehow find out why she's afraid.

I agree- my first step might be to try and get her to open up about her reasons for driving/going out anxiety. Perhaps if she’s uncomfortable going to you unprompted you could mask tdoc about maybe bringing her in to discuss things during a session. I think it’s hard to know exactly where to aim without knowing the type of support she needs 

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@confused
 

Would your daughter ever see a therapist again? Or at least see your therapist with you attending for starters?

Not because I think she is outright mentally ill, but because I think she could use some help with organizing and achieving some life goals (like getting one’s drivers license or socializing a little bit here and there or going back to school for her teaching credentials or even dating if she wants to or hobbies like joining an adult band and taking up her instrument again, etc).

I find my tdoc very useful for helping me stay true to my values and achieve my life goals. Obviously I see my tdoc for different reasons as well, but there is no shame in seeking therapy anymore for a little help. You can do it via telehealth even nowadays. It’s easier than ever. 

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