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Recovery after med switch illness - makes sense to start Saphris now?


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I talk to pdoc at 11:30 this morning, so I will ask him as I'm not sure you folk will get to see this beforehand.

I went off zyprexa...January 26th?  Took months to go from 30mg to 15mg and then off entirely from 15mg.  Had started rexulti the week before.  By the time I went up to 2mg rexulti, started having bad dizziness and motion sickness.  Eventually it progressed to nausea.  After 2-3 weeks of non-functionality - I got moved to abilify, which I'd been on before with no issues.  Then the puking started in earnest.  That went on for 2 weeks, only made it to 5mg.  Then went off all new AAPs and raised my loxapine from 20mg to 40mg.

I currently take:

40mg loxapine, 300mg lamotrigine, 900mg gabapentin, 100mg zoloft, ativan PRN.  

I haven't been on a therapeutic dose of an AP/AAP in months.  Given this I am doing fairly well.  Occasional mild kind-of hallucinations.  I got low on gabapentin last week (still can't drive as haven't done all tests from fainting a month or so ago) and had panic attacks most of Friday (Easter stuff, yay families) and started to drift into one of my paranoid delusions - it's better, but I still have random concerns that people are outside watching me.  There are supernatural people who trackers report on my movements to.  The trackers transfer/switch in and out so I don't get suspicious but I know what they're doing.  They don't fool me.  

But even thinking about it makes me worry.  So maybe I'm causing it myself.  It's my fault.

Last night I was very dizzy and dry heaved.  But despite that - going off seroquel has always made me pukey for months afterwards, just randomly.  So perhaps zyprexa is the same?

Anyways, does it make sense to start saphris now?  We've been wanting to make sure I was fully physically recovered because I was so sick.

 

 

 

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I'm even more worried now.  I swear I'm making myself delusional.  This is my fault.  I started thinking about how I've worried before it could be happening and now I'm worried it's happening.  I've locked both locks and closed all the blinds in the apartment, both bedrooms, living room, dining room.  Locked both locks on the door and turned off the humidifier and TV in case they're spying on me.

Pdoc better just start saphris.  I will not go to a hospital.  I won't.  I've already missed too much work.  

I'm so worried now.  What if the supernatural people are in here?  How am I supposed to work?  I wanted to work every day this week, a full day.  They could be coming out of my work computer.  For now my personal one is safe.

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hope pdoc has helpful answers

 

and that saphris is fast acting, and quick titrating up to appropriate dose

 

i don't know about you. But, personally I don't do much which is particularly interesting. I'm sure supernatural forces would love to learn more vegan recipes, but that setting up trackers is probably a convoluted way to procure them

 

that line of thought has sometimes helped me, and sometimes not

 

i hope pdoc helps and doesn't suggest IP

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I hope it's fast acting.  You prompted me to google it and I don't think it is particularly.

I called a crisis line that a schizophrenic site had listed and it was a fucking suicide prevention line.  They talked to me anyways.  I told them about killing Toby in the future and how pdoc knows and says I'm not homicidal but I swear if the police come I will be pissed.  Can they tell where I am?  I don't think so.  Police can triangulate phones.  I don't know if they know my number.  I shouldn't have said that.  

I got a chuckle out of vegan recipes.  Heh.

The thing is, the supernatural people have bothered me for over a decade.  I don't know what they want.  They are a malevolent force and I don't know why they focus on me.  They used to just stand outside my house when I lived in a house before Toby moved in, and I knew they could walk through walls and the dogs wouldn't be able to stop them and they'd come and do something to me.  I wanted to sleep with a knife but Toby said I wasn't allowed.

They never bothered me when he was there though.  He makes them go away.  

Then they started using trackers to follow me.  The trackers report to them what I'm doing.  Again, I don't know why the interest, but it's not as intensely scary.  A few years ago the supernatural people were in the hall and then pdoc sent me to p-emerg.  I heard noises in the hall this morning but they're gone now.  

I think the extra 20mg of loxapine is starting to kick in.  I'm still scared but more calm about it.  

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google says if you are in toronto then you should be in appt now

 

i hope it goes well

 

and thinking vegan recipes has me craving slow roasted carrots. 100C for 4 hours and they look disgusting, like wilty dregs. But inside is caramel textured bliss

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Thanks @DogMan - the loxapine has calmed me down a lot.

Pdoc is starting me on saphris, but slow - 5mg at night for the first three days, then 5mg night, 5mg morning.  He says that should be a therapeutic dose but I can always go higher.  He's going to be on vacation for two weeks, but there will be coverage through the clinic if I need to see someone.

We made mashed carrots Saturday.  We used real butter (too much vegan stuff has palm - poor orangutans - and the others I don't much like) but MAN were they good!  Bit of grand marnier, nutmeg, touch of brown sugar I think it was.  They were amazing!

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I'm sorry you feel so blah and have for so long. 

As someone who just started saphris, I can say that it's started to make a difference quite quickly.  I took 5mg in evening from 4/4-4/8 and then started on 5mg in morning and 5mg in evening.  I know we're dealing with different symptoms, since mine is for hallucinations (I've had issues with delusions and paranoia before, but not currently).  That said, the fact that it's started to alleviate symptoms for me quickly hopefully means it will for you also!

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I hope so @dancesintherain - the extra loxapine helped calm me down, but that would be wonderful if saphris takes over quickly.  I really appreciate you saying your experience.

I am not feeling great physically today - going to rest as much as possible this afternoon.  I swear I had an easier go of it with extended post-concussion syndrome.

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