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Newly diagnosed, or in process. With questions

 

Firstly I am viewing old artworks in different light. 3 million tiny forms as  stimming and strong interests

 

Second, questioning "meltdowns" I've also just received OCD Dx, and intrusive memories of meltdowns is huge

 

The Dx process was funny. I had a 6 week wait for pdoc. During which time I saw lots of new, unfamiliar people who harped about circadian rhythms and socialising

 

And, I got overwhelmed and scared and quivered and begged them to stop

 

I heroically fought through adversity to see new pdoc. All while banning lots of subjects with other workers

 

Pdoc pointed out that these things are spectrumy

 

I did a RAADS-R a couple of weeks ago, I think results on Wednesday

 

@Cerberussorry to rudely tag, but would like your  thoughts. Sorry

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4 minutes ago, Hopelessly Broken said:

What are the questions you have?

I'll post them as I think of them. I have a niece and nephew on the spectrum. Their mums say they don't know what is spectrum, what is personality

 

I found this pic interesting

 

I am struggling with accepting suggestions in MH clinic, and wondering how much relates to autism

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How much of autism relates to your mental health? All of it. One could accurately say it is it, because it is our brain wiring, that's why our mental health and overall functioning and way of being is inherently different. They wouldn't be the way they are without autism. 

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1 minute ago, Hopelessly Broken said:

How much of autism relates to your mental health? All of it. One could accurately say it is it, because it is our brain wiring, that's why our mental health and overall functioning and way of being is inherently different. They wouldn't be the way they are without autism. 

No sorry 

 

The inability to accept suggestions 

 

Sister said her son just needs a gentle hint, to be followed up months later. But wasn't sure if this is asd or just Bailey 

 

And I had just opened that chat with sisters to report my similar experiences 

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As for what is autism and what is personality, that is the same. Our personality is the way it is because we have an autistic brain, which is why we aren't who we are as autistic people without autism. They can't be removed or separated from each other. 

It probably has some effect on that, yes. Especially depending what the suggestion is and who it is coming from. But like I said, everything about us is impacted by autism, because that's what makes us who we are. 

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Example, for me, I find it hard to take suggestions on board, have them register and accept them because they are one of those vague, open ended means of communication that have a large degree of subjectivity. I often don't understand suggestions, what is actually being asked or stated, their meaning, purpose etc. I am also quite stubborn and rigid in the beliefs, opinions and views I hold. I will usually not take things that aren't fact on board, and things that aren't fact will not be understood or registered in my brain. 

Things generally need to make sense in a logical and rational manner for me. They simply will not compute if they don't.

Edited by Hopelessly Broken
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Autism isn’t something we have, it’s something we are. It’s not an add-on to our brain, it’s the nature of our brain. It will never be possible to “cure” someone of Autism, because that would mean structural changes to the brain that would result in a different individual altogether. Personality is an expression of the amalgam of our mental states, and for an Autist, all our mental states are informed by an Autistic brain; therefore there is no way to say, “That’s not his personality, that’s his Autism.”

That being said, it bears emphasizing that an Autistic brain is perfectly capable of producing personality traits identical to most Neurotypicals in many respects. I often tell people that Autistics are people just like everybody else, capable of the full range of emotions, even if we don’t recognize that we’re feeling them or mange them well. We have likes and dislikes just as anybody would. I explained to someone just the other day that although Aspies are sometimes unjustly misjudged as assholes, it doesn’t mean there aren’t some Aspies who are assholes.

Receiving an Autism dx is one thing. Accepting it is something else. It took me a while. At first, I felt profound relief that I finally had an explanation for why I had felt so different from everyone around me, so other, all my life. Then I went through a period of distress where I still included myself among the NT majority but had this ‘condition’, and I thought of myself as some kind of factory second that had come off the line damaged from the start. I later realized the error of that thinking - I am not a flawed item, I am a different model. The design of me functions perfectly in and of itself; things only break down when other people find that I don’t meet their expectations.

Note that the criteria for level 2, mid-functioning, Autism includes things like ‘facing away from the other person while communicating’ or ‘turning in circles’. One explanation says “Even with support, the person may find it hard to communicate coherently, and they are more likely to respond in ways that neurotypical people consider surprising or inappropriate.” In ways that neurotypical people consider surprising or inappropriate.

Let’s think about this for a moment. What practical difference does it make if I’m facing you when I’m talking to you? What, really, is the actual problem with someone turning around in circles? Could it be, NTs of the world, that you just don’t like it because it’s not what you do? Could it be that much of the distress Autistics experience in daily living is because you’re so hard to get along with? Could it be that there’s nothing really wrong with us at all that wouldn’t be considerably mitigated if you would just quit insisting that we be just like you? May I suggest that you all go fuck yourselves in whatever way seems most NT-acceptable? Perhaps you’ll feel better.

(Sorry, I get a little belligerent about this because I get so tired of being surrounded by self-satisfied imbeciles.)

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49 minutes ago, Hopelessly Broken said:

Example, for me, I find it hard to take suggestions on board, have them register and accept them because they are one of those vague, open ended means of communication that have a large degree of subjectivity. I often don't understand suggestions, what is actually being asked or stated, their meaning, purpose etc. I am also quite stubborn and rigid in the beliefs, opinions and views I hold. I will usually not take things that aren't fact on board, and things that aren't fact will not be understood or registered in my brain. 

Things generally need to make sense in a logical and rational manner for me. They simply will not compute if they don't.

Very good explanation. We live in a world of stark contrasts, black and white, true and false. Not a lot of tolerance for grey in there. I am so aware of my tendency to hold my beliefs strongly that I have to frequently consciously remind myself of the possibility that I may have overlooked some critical piece of information that would logically alter my view, and that I cannot consider myself a believer in science if I do not maintain that openness of mind. It’s an effort, but I think it’s important that I do it.

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@DogMan - I wouldn’t try to read too much into your art as being in some way diagnostic. What I see strikes me more as an expression of visual style. I spent 30 years as a professional graphic artist, and there’s too much variety of concept between those pieces, and too much depth of layer and meaning, to ascribe it to stimming. Just because creating patterns of intricate design satisfies a deep space in your soul doesn’t mean you’re symptomatic. This isn’t art-as-symptom.

The very first thing that came to mind was a certain resonance with some Australian aboriginal styles (you might find this article interesting), but highly intricate work is a feature of styles globally, including in mandelas, illuminated manuscripts like the Book of Kells, and in Islamic art, which emphasizes pattern over figure.

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I would say yes, we are just like everyone else, if you were to explain it by saying that NTs have all their traits, behaviours, ways of being and functioning and each NT has their own individual presentation of them whilst also sharing enough of them with other NTs to be classed as NT, and so do we, as far as autism has its own traits, behaviours, ways of being and functioning, and each individual autistic has our own presentation of them whilst also having enough of them to be considered autistic. Yes, we have likes, dislikes, so on and so forth, but the way we experience them and what defines them is different. 

I'd also say that I think it's fair to state that autistics are more likely to exhibit "extreme" manifestations of a trait, behaviour, etc than a NT person is, simply as a result of us living and functioning in that world of stark contrasts. When we display something, we tend to display it much more than an NT would, vice versa, when we don't have something, it is distinctly obvious. 

Or "abnormal" and "inappropriate" as NTs would call it. That being said, it is also true that because all of us have our own individual presentation, that there are some of us for whom our traits, behaviours etc do not fall at a more extreme point of the spectrum. And some are more or less so extreme than others, just like NT people are with theirs, with the above caveat. 

Edited by Hopelessly Broken
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That's why the levels are used to distinguish differing support needs. I don't and more than likely never will fully agree with the DSM when it comes to autism, but at the end of the day, that is what matters the most. What your presentation is and what areas in your life require support, how much, what kind etc. Some of us get diagnosed and don't require much more support than that because it gives us the basis of information we need to develop upon our understanding and self-awareness, others need more support, various types of support etc, and for some it depends on what exactly they are doing in their life at a given time, say, if they are going to university or TAFE, they might need more support in place during their time of study, or a larger variety of supports whilst they are studying, and once their study is completed, that need will reduce, or perhaps it will change depending on whether or not that study takes them into the workforce. 

Some of us have support needs and means of support which we can provide to ourselves. Others need more specific disability services type support and aide. It all comes down to you as a person, your presentation, your life, what you struggle with, what you don't etc. 

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That makes sense 

 

For now. The main accommodation I seem to need is just health professionals approaching social support and sleep in an informed way 

 

Does that make sense?

 

Getting help with the OCD just needs supports to approach me as a bit different with eccentricities 

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That one can be quite difficult to acquire, unfortunately, ultimately, there will always be a level of lacking understanding and knowledge from professionals who aren't also autistic, and that can become quite the problem. I have had a lot of issues with that myself, and am yet to find a solution for it. That is largely why I am not being treated for my co-morbids. I can't help you with that particular issue, as a result. Have to say that our beloved (noted with much sarcasm) mental health system here makes that a right pain in the ass. I have just left it behind because that's what had to be done in my case. 

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