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There are still people here, though not as many as there used to be. Sometimes it may take a while for the right folks to read and have time to think through a response. Particularly when the topic is PTSD-related, the people who are most likely to read posts may suffer from PTSD themselves and while they may have useful perspectives, difficult or explicit topics may have an effect on them as well.

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Me & my family are being threatened with rape & murder. The texts keep coming. He might even find this. Not my husband. He is in recovery, doing well. It's a guy who fell in my camp last June, and I helped him get back to his car after he spent the night in mine. We've been texting since in what I thought was a friendship, and met up over the weekend. Had a nice time.

Then all these crazy threats. I saved screenshots of everything.

There is no safety. It was all an illusion. That's him with me at a park on Easter.

Packed to go, armed. ready. Don't fuck with me or mine, Logan McNice.


 

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save all the texts and give it to police.  I guess being a Canadian I don't have the option to shoot the fucker, but my first reaction would be to collect evidence, while making a safety plan.

Edited by wookie
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Posted (edited)

Bear spray. Pepper gel. Weighted club. Knife on me at all times. Other stuff. Hypervigilance. Locks & cameras. I've been harrased & threatened before. Many times. Lost count of the times I've been physically attacked. Something about me causes sudden rage in others. It has always been this way. New plan is to stay the fuck away from everyone. After covid, it's really nothing new.

Talked with cops. They don't care.

Edited by r2mnot
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It's for evidence. I don't know how to block people anyway. I'm kind of stupid & there's trauma from angry teachers, so please don't anybody go trying to tell me how. The stress of trying to learn would put me over the edge. Anyhow, trying to teach me things generally makes people mad at me. I don't want to piss anyone else off anymore.

He seems to gave stopped. I'm mostly sad. At almost 60, I thought the rape & murder threats were over. I thought things would be calm & maybe people would stop attacking me. There's must be something horrible about me. And I don't know how anyone can help. I guess shouldn't have posted since there's nothing to be done. I'm sorry. Hope no one is mad.

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not mad in the slightest.  and sometimes there isn't really a thing to be done.  it sounds like an awful situation and you have every right to discuss it. 

I'm glad he seems to have stopped.  The awfulness is about him--not a flaw in you.  not ever. 

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Having difficulty stopping crying. Crying is another thing about me that makes people mad. I can be quiet, but am unable to stop tears from welling up or my voice getting shaky when I'm hurt. These are things that seem to cause anger in others. Or when I get startled too easy & kinda jump. I wish all that would stop. If you know any tricks for that I'd like to know

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9 minutes ago, r2mnot said:

Having difficulty stopping crying. Crying is another thing about me that makes people mad. I can be quiet, but am unable to stop tears from welling up or my voice getting shaky when I'm hurt. These are things that seem to cause anger in others. Or when I get startled too easy & kinda jump. I wish all that would stop. If you know any tricks for that I'd like to know

I am not angry at you either.  You seriously need nicer friends.

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None of my friends are like that. My family was. Dad was narcissistic. Sister Golden child. I'm the fuck up. My parents are dead. Sister lives a block away, but she is religious, looks down on me/sneers/rolls eyes if I am emotional. It's abuse. But not much I can do about it.

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Went to the cops. Hope it wasn't a mistake. They can't do anything other than read the texts/make a report, let the bad guy know I talked with cops. Great. I'm dead.

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10 hours ago, r2mnot said:

None of my friends are like that. My family was. Dad was narcissistic. Sister Golden child. I'm the fuck up. My parents are dead. Sister lives a block away, but she is religious, looks down on me/sneers/rolls eyes if I am emotional. It's abuse. But not much I can do about it.

I can relate on the narcissistic abuse.  I have had the odd male friend turn into a scary freak show on me too.

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I'm still scared. Also sick. I have Pityriasis rubra pilaris. It's a rare skin disorder, around 800 of us in the states. It's a terrifying & physically repulsive condition. Itches like fuck. It's hard to blink because my skin is getting tight, starting to peel again. No idea what my prognosis is, but the symptoms are coming back.

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And since I don't have a therapist, I hope you'll all forgive me for working some of this out here. Therapy is more complicated than just money. The ptsd dx I have is from the "treatment" I received from the troubled teen industry. No need to go into details, but it was bad. I was scapegoated, bullied, and worse. So therapy & therapists don't feel safe right now. The county health therapy I had before is no longer available to me. They were the only ones who ever used evidence based therapy that was actually helpful.

Back to the current asshole. Before he turned on me, we texted almost daily...just silly stuff, cartoons, jokes. I thought he was my friend. And so I'm mourning this friendship that apparently never was...and also feeling like a foolish old woman.

Next broken down car, lost person, whatever...not my problem. Gotta be strong & mean. Fuck 'em.

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1 hour ago, r2mnot said:

And since I don't have a therapist, I hope you'll all forgive me for working some of this out here. Therapy is more complicated than just money. The ptsd dx I have is from the "treatment" I received from the troubled teen industry. No need to go into details, but it was bad. I was scapegoated, bullied, and worse. So therapy & therapists don't feel safe right now. The county health therapy I had before is no longer available to me. They were the only ones who ever used evidence based therapy that was actually helpful.

Back to the current asshole. Before he turned on me, we texted almost daily...just silly stuff, cartoons, jokes. I thought he was my friend. And so I'm mourning this friendship that apparently never was...and also feeling like a foolish old woman.

Next broken down car, lost person, whatever...not my problem. Gotta be strong & mean. Fuck 'em.

No worries you’re in good company.  I have a therapist but still struggle with anxiety.  PTSD built up over the years.  Traumatized by therapy too.  I didn’t start trusting a therapist until I was in my 30s

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So far, nothing. Bought a new pepper gel thing that is less likely to blow back if I have to use it. It is with me 24/7.

Sleep is bad. I have dark circles under my eyes that were never there before. Not sure if that's from the weird disease or stress or all of it. Same with the digestive issues. (TMI ahead) I get really sick with diarrhea every 3 or 4 days & it hurts when I eat. They didn't find anything with imaging & blood work. Stress, they said. Try to decrease your stress. Um. Ok. How? 

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