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Boyfriend's Daughter


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Is most likely on the spectrum with a few learning disabilities but very smart. Age almost 14. She says things that make me uncomfortable like "Why were you crawling on the floor scratching at my bedroom door?" Or "I wouldn't use that blanket because I rubbed my itchy V on it." Or "Dad why are you hitting on me?"

He and I have talked about it and he's mostly been able to stop the highly innapropriate talk but I just feel so uncomfortable around her and would rather not spend time at with her. 

Am I being an AH? Should I just deal with it if I love him? Idk

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, deeschmee said:

Is most likely on the spectrum with a few learning disabilities but very smart. Age almost 14. She says things that make me uncomfortable like "Why were you crawling on the floor scratching at my bedroom door?" Or "I wouldn't use that blanket because I rubbed my itchy V on it." Or "Dad why are you hitting on me?"

He and I have talked about it and he's mostly been able to stop the highly innapropriate talk but I just feel so uncomfortable around her and would rather not spend time at with her. 

Am I being an AH? Should I just deal with it if I love him? Idk

In my experience dealing with teenagers, they love to say things that they hope will bother you, and get a reaction out of you.....I know some of the things she says might make you uncomfortable.

My children are adults now, but they did the same thing when they were teens.....It's a difficult phase, but it will eventually pass..

Edited by CrazyRedhead
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So maybe I forgot to add that this is not my child. It's my boyfriend's. I have 3 grown kids who quite frankly have been a pain in the ass at times but wouldn't talk about they're vagina or penis to someone they hardly know. Or imply some kind of innapropriate behavior from a parent if it weren't true. These are the things that are making me uncomfortable and not want to spend time with her when she is with him.

I totally understand that teenagers are quite difficult. This just seems well out of the realm of normalcy Imo

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, deeschmee said:

So maybe I forgot to add that this is not my child. It's my boyfriend's. I have 3 grown kids who quite frankly have been a pain in the ass at times but wouldn't talk about they're vagina or penis to someone they hardly know. Or imply some kind of innapropriate behavior from a parent if it weren't true. These are the things that are making me uncomfortable and not want to spend time with her when she is with him.

I totally understand that teenagers are quite difficult. This just seems well out of the realm of normalcy Imo

Ok, she's your boyfriend's daughter, now I understand...Sorry about that.

Does she live with him full-time?....Is he the custodial parent?...

It's possible that she's jealous of you, because she doesn't like sharing her dad's attention with someone else.

Edited by CrazyRedhead
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He has her every other week.

I bet your right! I try to avoid going there while she's there. Our birthdays are close and he wanted to have a party for us both. The daughter was excited however I have a whole host of issues surrounding my birthday partly from being adopted. Also I haven't been in a very good frame of mind from lack of sleep I can't tolerate her nonsense.

Thank you so much for responding I really appreciate it

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This weekend my bf told me that a while back, his daughter was arguing with her mother so badly at a store that someone called the cops on them.

So I realized in the interest of my best mental health, I do not want to spend time wirh his daughter. She is a big trigger for me.

Question is...do I tell him that? Or do I just let it go?

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4 minutes ago, deeschmee said:

This weekend my bf told me that a while back, his daughter was arguing with her mother so badly at a store that someone called the cops on them.

So I realized in the interest of my best mental health, I do not want to spend time wirh his daughter. She is a big trigger for me.

Question is...do I tell him that? Or do I just let it go?

If this is your boyfriend, you will have to be honest, and tell him the truth at some point.

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14 minutes ago, CrazyRedhead said:

If this is your boyfriend, you will have to be honest, and tell him the truth at some point.

Thanks for all your support today!! I sure have a lot on my mind 😳

I know I do have to tell him for sure. I just have to go,d the words....

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