Trying to Figure this Out And Need Advice

[deeschmee]

First I'd like to say that I am in no way judging only trying to learn and understand.

My boyfriend's daughter is almost 14 and he has told me that she needs extra help at school. He also told me that in order to get that extra help at school they had to label her learning disabled. I grew up with a learning disabled brother so I understand. What I am beginning to see or believe to be true is that she may be on the Spectrum. Very intelligent girl. some of her behaviors are saying highly inappropriate things, constantly interrupting, a nervous tic, she makes loud noises randomly what I can only describe as bird-like. She won't take no for an answer when she's got her mind set. Sometimes she is exceptionally argumentative about things that we might find unimportant such as running over a worm with the car.

Now my mind with all my issues depression PTSD and dissociation, I am having difficulty connecting with this girl and I find her quite triggering to no fault of her own.

Any and all advice is accepted here. I am speaking with kindness and love in my heart. Thank you

[Hopelessly Broken]

None of us are professionals, even though it is accurate to say that most autistic people do have more knowledge about autism than the professionals do, we cannot diagnose anyone here. And with this limited amount of information, all that can be said, at most, is maybe she is. This is also a first person site, so it would need to come from her specifically (which in the case of describing her potentially autistic traits and behaviours, would be exponentially better anyways) and given that she isn't old enough, well, I doubt the moderators are going to say something different to what I have.

 

[Cerberus]

Hopelessly Broken is correct. We cannot, and would not begin to try to, diagnose your boyfriend's daughter's condition even if this were the sort of site where we consider the condition of third parties. Which it is not. To the extent that your query concerns your own inability to connect with the girl and the degree to which your own conditions may contribute to that difficulty, those may be a valid consideration, but we cannot begin with an assumption that she is on the Autism Spectrum unless you become aware that she has a formal diagnosis. In any case, you indicate that the difficulty you are experiencing is not the girl's fault, so perhaps a more productive avenue of investigation would be trying to determine what it is about your own mind that is reacting to her behaviors.

[deeschmee]

Thank you @Cerberus and @Hopelessly Broken

☺

[CrazyRedhead]

11 hours ago, deeschmee said:

Now my mind with all my issues depression PTSD and dissociation, I am having difficulty connecting with this girl and I find her quite triggering to no fault of her own.

Any and all advice is accepted here. I am speaking with kindness and love in my heart. Thank you

IMO, I think a therapist could help you find out why your BF's daughter is so triggering to you.....Also, I think a good therapist could also help, by giving you some ideas on coping skills wihen you get these triggers.

I highly recommend getting a therapist.....My therapist has helped me a lot with ways to cope.

[dancesintherain]

add on to that hte fact that you could probably find someone who's trained in CBT-I (cbt for insomnia) to see if it helps.  It didn't fix the problem completely for me, but it moved me in the right direction. 

[deeschmee]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the input