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I do this thing where I try to push all the negative thoughts out of my head but it never really works because then the thoughts become feelings and the feelings become Sensations in my body. Then all I want to do is hibernate in my bed in my room watch tv. I've got a really good guy for the first time in my life. He's not perfect he drinks a lot and I don't get along with his daughter but he does everything for me he's so kind and so supportive and tries to be so understanding with my mental health issues. However all I want to do is run away because my brain keeps telling me I'm not good enough and what's wrong with him for wanting someone like me? I am also coming off a severe withdrawal from Effexor now I'm back on Pristiq so I'm just beginning to become leveled. The last thing I want to do is go to a party where everyone's drinking and I have to take every last bit of energy I have just to socialize and seem normal. I do have to work on my self-esteem however I've been trying for years to read this book called The Journey from abandonment to Healing. I can't get past the first few pages. I just have to do it take the first step and do it.

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6 minutes ago, deeschmee said:

The last thing I want to do is go to a party where everyone's drinking and I have to take every last bit of energy I have just to socialize and seem normal. I do have to work on my self-esteem however I've been trying for years to read this book called The Journey from abandonment to Healing. I can't get past the first few pages. I just have to do it take the first step and do it.

This is just my personal opinion, but I would strongly suggest skipping that party where "everyone is drinking". and do something else you enjoy--maybe watch a movie on TV,  or read a good book, or maybe even try to read The Journey book you have.

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