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You can see my other post here called I need some feedback. So I have not been doing too well probably since February ish. Things took a really bad turn June and July when I went off my meds. However my boyfriend said he would do whatever I need him to do to help me through this crisis. He even said he would stop drinking around me. All I need to do is tell him what I need him to do. Anyone else would think what a great guy. He's being so accommodating and caring. But I don't know what is wrong with my brain and why I can't appreciate him. But I just want to run away. He kind of reminds me of my dad. Which I love my dad but I didn't want to be romantic with my dad. Which is part of the problem. And when we're together I just don't feel that connection. It's like we come from two different worlds. I also feel trying so hard to do everything right. Say all the right things do all the right things but it doesn't feel genuine sometimes. I'm working this all out here because I feel like such a s*** for not wanting a good guy. My friend says it's a shame that I can't appreciate a good guy like him because there aren't many out there. Any advice any input would be so helpful

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When I was first with my husband, I was really fucked up, couldn't connect to him, couldn't appreciate him (and he is SUCH a good guy - kind, sweet, funny, caring, so supportive, smart) - didn't want him touching me - I was really just fucked up.  

I broke up with him, and a year later realized what I'd done - I was in a better place, reached out, and the rest is history (it's been over 14 years we've been back together).

I'm not saying to break up with him, but it is entirely possible that your issues with the relationship are your MI issues.  I can't say one way or another what to do, but if he's being supportive while you need to get better - is it worth it?  Only you can answer I guess.  

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Wow it's almost like your me. I did tell him that I need a break. But you're right I don't want him touching me I'm repulsed by sex not just with him with anyone. I guess I should still stay in contact with him while I'm healing

Edited by deeschmee
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Also it seems so much more. Since the beginning I've been questioning if I could handle his quirkiness. Then I questioned if I could handle his drinking. Then I question if I could handle his daughter. Then I questioned if I can handle his haunted house. Yes his house is legit haunted I had a disturbing experience. Then I questioned if I could handle the fact that he reminds me so much of my dad. And I like my dad. And now I feel like my brain has changed so much during this last 3 months on crisis that I don't know if I could ever feel that way about him again. But I won't cut off all contact. Just in case.

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Welp, my kids told me they're concerned about my drinking. They also told me they think my boyfriend is an alcoholic. The boyfriend said he would stop drinking around me but then I would be the drinking police....

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