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you don't have to love everyone who is nice to you

 

i am very much single, with very little dating experience

 

but chemistry doesn't just mean you appreciate the nice things he does

neither does attraction

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you've got a lot going on right now.  maybe your brain is overloaded with all of it.  but I agree with dogman that being nice isn't the sole factor in a relationship.

I went on a date with a woman who was incredibly sweet to talk to but who I just wasn't attracted to.  I felt guilty, at first, but then I decided that attraction is an important part of a relationship also.  Just like communication and things like that.

Maybe write down a list of what you're looking for in a relationship and which ones you feel like you're strongest on?

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Yes good advice. I do have a lot going on right now with the med change and everything. I did a pros and cons list and the cons was much longer.

He's just the right type of guy that seems like I would want to be with- God I feel like such a s***.. I kept trying to convince myself over these 8 months stick it out cuz he's a good one. But there is no chemistry unless we're drinking.

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That you need to drink to have chemistry is not good - to me - especially when you'd like to stop based on what you've said.  That's not healthy for either of you, but you need to think about it for yourself.  

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13 minutes ago, jarn said:

That you need to drink to have chemistry is not good - to me - especially when you'd like to stop based on what you've said.  That's not healthy for either of you, but you need to think about it for yourself.  

Yes thank you all for helping me to process this. I see my counselor tomorrow so I can talk to her about it as well thank you again for wise words

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