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Anhedonia vs Never Developed Identity


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I don't know what to include for context. I might have mentioned postgraduate studies in fine art? But fine art wasn't MY interest. It was just all that was encouraged in me. And that encouragement was based on an astrology chart done the day of my birth

 

I don't know what MY interests are. I don't enjoy anything, at all

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1 hour ago, DogMan said:

 And that encouragement was based on an astrology chart done the day of my birth

Because it was the dawning of the Age of Aquarius? Good Lord. You’re lucky you didn’t end up with a degree in macramé.

Just because you suffer from acute anhedonia doesn’t mean you don’t have interests. You can figure out your interests by looking at your choices - when you decide what to read, what to watch, what to do, you gravitate toward the things that interest you, because there are alternative choices you could have made but didn’t. The fact that anhedonia robs you of the pleasure you might take from pursuing those interests doesn’t mean you aren’t, at some level, still making the attempt.

Anne Hedonia has her own room in my house. She rudely invited herself in many years ago and has stubbornly refused to leave ever since. She’s a notorious party-pooper, points out the cloud surrounding every silver lining, and delights in stomping the floor any time someone has finally gotten a baby to sleep or tried to bake a soufflé. In short, she’s a bitch.

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Did you know that the age of aquarius still hasn't started? I for a long time thought it must have been here given how old the song is. But it is something like 9000 years off starting yet

 

Thanks for feedback

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Annie must be like Santa and can visit all the girls and boys across the globe. She visits my place quite regular.

@DogMan I too was encouraged at a young age to create art by a mentally ill adopted mom. So I too question which part of me enjoys art because I see it as cumbersome.

Another thought. I am in my middle years and starting to question and reflect back on my life and choices anyways regardless of my dissociation. Who knows though maybe this part who's making this post is my manager because she comes out when I've had enough sleep. She tries to get stuff done.

Just sharing my experience in the hopes that it will help you possibly.

@Cerberus always makes so much sense to me 😌

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@DogMan is your anhedonia part of a condition you have or is it med induced. when i was put on risperdal during one phase of my treatment i had very high anhedonia and loss of all affect couldn't sleep either. what's more the bastards who put me on it refused to acknowledge my problem or change the line of treatment. i can see that you as well are on high doses of that very same drug.

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4 minutes ago, the maze runner said:

@DogMan is your anhedonia part of a condition you have or is it med induced. when i was put on risperdal during one phase of my treatment i had very high anhedonia and loss of all affect couldn't sleep either. what's more the bastards who put me on it refused to acknowledge my problem or change the line of treatment. i can see that you as well are on high doses of that very same drug.

maybe a bit of both

 

starting meds killed some things for me. Reading comes to mind. But also coincided with the advent of the internet as more than pr0n, so maybe that too

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15 minutes ago, DogMan said:

maybe a bit of both

 

starting meds killed some things for me. Reading comes to mind. But also coincided with the advent of the internet as more than pr0n, so maybe that too

Ah ok. I hear you. Personally I see Risperdal as the Devil's invention so I always feel like I must warn the unwary.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Anhedonia can make you feel like you lack an identity. What do you like? Erm... everything is either tedious or a source of torment. Can feel like you're dead to the world. Everything is tedious and meaningless, especially yourself. I do feel like that a lot of the time. When I feel that everything is worthless I drag myself down there too. Would be weird if I didn't. "Everything is worthless except for me. Because I'm fucking amazing!". I guess that's how narcissists must think. That lack of any feeling can make you feel like you don't exist. I was always there though.

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