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My cat died


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My cat died in September. I had been trying to prepare myself because she was getting old, but it still hit me really hard.

I read a lot of the threads here from people who have had animals die. I related to a lot of it. It's comforting to know that other people have similar experiences. It feels like solidarity, I think.

I've been having a hard time talking or writing about her. She was so special to me, but often the words feel small and flat.

I keep trying to talk about her. I'm trying to process my grief and I want to express my love for her.

She was really sweet and affectionate

She was shy and a bit timid

She had incredibly soft fur

She was rather clumsy and that's a bit funny for a cat isn't it?

She was with me though some really difficult parts of my life

Because of my own health I couldn't do as much for her as I wanted. I tried my best but I still wish I could have done more. Now I can't do anything for her anymore.

She would have said I did a good job because she loved me.

Somehow that makes me cry even more.

Even though it's been weeks, it still feels strange that she is gone.

I miss her so much ❤️

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Aww! I had a cat who was special to me years ago. She was born from a stray we took in, and she was ill as a kitten. Because of this she never properly developed and always remained a kitten and was also deaf. Despite this she was fearless and would constantly start fights with our other cats, who were a bit confused to see this tiny angry ball of fur and claws heading towards them. She was weird. She always came and sat with me and wanted to play, which usually involved scratching the fuck out of my fingers. I still have a scar from when she got her claw caught while scratching at a door. Yowling like mad and when I helped her she bit me. Was she sorry? Fuck no! She got out of a window one day. We tried to keep her inside because she was deaf and we lived next to a busy road. Never saw her again.

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