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Here is the post I've not wanted to write


MiaB
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My brain has fused at the prospect of writing a final message addressing everyone, but it is Saturday morning here and I don't want us to close down without my having made the effort to put something down in words.

Adequately summing up more than 17.5 years on CrazyBoards is actually an absurd goal to attempt.  This place has played a profound role in my life, from the early days and friendships formed that in some cases were taken offline - I still have gifts shared from all over the world - through to my experiences on the moderating team and the collegial way in which we worked to keep the place running.  We were definitely a motley crew and sometimes disagreed vigorously, but I believe we ultimately held to the goal of keeping a distinctively safe peer space for people living with mental illness.  We never suffered fools, but always did our best to think deeply and carefully about each decision made.

I have wondered - more so now of course - what happened to those members who fell away over the years.  We know that some lost their battle, and we will always grieve them, but others moved on, and it remains my great hope that they achieved stability, or at the very least, real life support systems that are now sustaining them. 

What am I taking away personally?  So very much.  I am a smarter patient and self advocate.  I grew into an understanding of my own mental health experience that I could never have reached without CB, and my relationship with my current psychiatrist is light years away from the one I had with another doctor in 2005.  And in following other members' narratives I learned infinitely more about conditions other than my own than years of study ever taught me.

Some of the relationships I built faded over time, but I see that as part of the human experience - because at the end of the day we are, after all, only human.  Every person who touched my life will always have a place in my mind and my heart, even if we no longer communicate as we did at one point.  For those who have been active in more recent years, please know that I have followed along with the stories you have shared on your blogs and on the forums.  You are each as important as CB is unique.

As we all move on, my wish for you is that you will remain in contact with those with whom you connected here.  Please don't let the fact that you will not find a replica of CB detract you from this.  Think of this place as one in which deep roots were formed - roots which will give you courage, strength, and comfort along the way, because you now know that you are not alone.  Keep fighting, because no matter how dark they may sometimes be, every day of your life matters.

I am beginning a new phase in my life, but CB will always run in my veins.

Mia

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(Tears streaming down my cheeks....😭)

Saturday afternoon here. Thank you @MiaB for everything over the years.

I would also like to give gratitude to so many who have replied to my posts.

Namely @Blahblah @Antecedent @Wonderful.Cheese @coraline @CrazyRedhead @DammitJanet @DogMan @Fluent In Silence @Cerberus @kittyloaf @looking for answers @dancesintherain @basuraeuropea @jarn @dragonfly23 @echolocation and many more. This was a safe haven for me, especially the past few months during my med withdrawal.

Parting is such sweet sorrow...

Best wishes and love and light to you all ❤

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@MiaB you are an outstanding person and I have always thought highly of you.  This place has meant a lot to me as well and having had the pleasure of knowing you has made it even more special.  You have done for me more than I ever expected anyone to do.  Thank you.

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6 hours ago, coraline said:

@MiaB you are an outstanding person and I have always thought highly of you.  This place has meant a lot to me as well and having had the pleasure of knowing you has made it even more special.  You have done for me more than I ever expected anyone to do.  Thank you.

I am honestly speechless. These words mean more than you know. Thank you, cora. ❤

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