my friends just don't get it

[Magnolia]

So, I decided to go to a baseball game with friends Saturday.  I have a hard time leaving the house but I missed my friends and I thought it would be a really fun time.  I debated between taking kklonopin to help me though it (big group of people going, only know about 6) or forgoing the klonopin and just having some beers with everyone else.  I figured I'd just have beer because if I didn't, I'd have to answer a million and one questions about why i wasnt drinking and then listen to peer pressure.  I had taken a 1mg klonopin around 6 Fri night so I figured I would be ok to drink.  Well, I turned into a big freaking mess, seeing double, all whacked out, embarrasing for the amount of drinks I had - 5-6 over 3 hours, not a lot for a 23 yr old girl like me who can drink all night.

I was going to go with my friends back to the town they live in, where I grew up.  I wanted to hang out with them still and thought I would sober up and be ok back in my town (comfort zone).  I needed to take a cab b/c I didn't feel comfotable being on a crowded, hot, smelly train.  They didn't want to pay for a cab but my boyfriend said he'd pay for our cab but of of couse one bichy friend wants to go into the city, refuses to go back to hometown, want to take the train, we all say screw the train so we decied to take a cab to our car (we parked far away) and drive into city.  once we are in the cab starts bitching about traffic, even though the train would have taken longer because of the herds of people trying to get on and the normal ride-time.  I try to explain to her that I'm messed up on this medicine, I took it and mistakenly thought I would be ok to drink today.  Try to explain to them that I dont feel well, that's why I want to go back to the hometown.  She doesn't give two shits, says nothing and just puts her flipflop feet on me to stretch out in the back  of the cab.  We get to my boyfriend's car and I'm just in the front with my eyes welling up with tears.  I couldn't talk, move.  I was so angry and furious that she could be so inconsiderate of my feelings.  My bf and I dropped her and my other friend (who was silent throughout this b/c he doesn't want to get in middle and just goes with whoever) off at the tain station by our house (1 stop into city) and said we'd see them later.  I burst into tears, had a crying fit and just cryed myself to sleep until night.  When I woke up 6 hours later, there were no missed calls from her.  Thought maybe she'd want to hang out but guess not.

I guess I just needed to vent.  Thi friend, who is supposed to be my best friend, who just had a long talk with my boyfriend last weekend about the tough time I'm going through, who said she understood, is just a selfish bitch.  She is insensitive and thinks of nothing but herself and whats good for her.  It's her way or no way.  I've been hurt by too many things she has said to me.  I guess I put up with her b/c we grew up together and have been in the same group of friends for 20 years. I really wanted to open the cab door and kick her ass to the curb. I'm still so angry, I don't know what to say to her.  I thought maybe I was overreacting and wasn't thinking clearly b/c I was so out of it but even my boyfriend who was sober said she was such a bitch.  ANd she probably has no idea I'm pissed.  I don't understand why she just likes to drink and blackout every weekend.  I'm so over that (especially now, since I'm on klonopim, I need to plan drinking a week ahead).

I'm so done with going out.  I can't stand people.  I'd be happy with my boyfriend, family and animals for the rest of my life.

 

Sorry for all the typos.  Lamictal has made me a bad speller and typist.  I'm also a bad writer so I apologize if this is unclear.  Just needed to vent.

I'm so happy to have found this place.  I finally feel like I fit in somewhere.

[dan]

Indeed drinking and crazy meds don't mix well. Drinking and craziness don't mix well even without the meds.

Don't be offended if you don't get many responses for a while: everyone seems to be on holiday or something.

I can only say that you need your friends. I lost almost all of mine to MI and the ones I have left are interstate. Some will understand or at least try to understand what your going through. And you are luucky to have your boyfriend.

PS. don't worry about typos, everyone does it. If your really self conscious about it you can always edit after you've posted.

PPS. someone will come along that can help, I'm really not the best person to ask about social stuff-being sz and all.

Dan

[InfoNut]

Magnolia,

Although I'm not the best person to answer this (I have no friends but one, and she live 1500 miles away), I wanted to respond.

Somethng I learned from dealing with family, etc... don't expect them to understand. They have no earthly idea what it's like inside you. Even if they claim to understand, they are still going to expect you, for the most part, to be like them.

Sooooo many people (even those that claim to understand) think that MI is a weakness, or simply something that a person could "get over" if they'd just try.

So they get frustrated with us when we need to do things differently, or when we need accomodations like taking a cab instead of a train.

My advice would be to let her know how insensitive you thought she was that night. Don't let it slide, and don't apologize for what happened.

SHE certainly wouldn't have hesitated to grab a cab and head home if SHE was feeling incredibly ill.

I know bringing something like that up can be too stressful, though. Many of us have stress issues with confrontation. Do the best you can, and chalk the rest up to being misunderstood. If she's your best freind, I doubt she would be intentionally cruel.

Welcome to Crazyboards. Here you ARE among people who understand.

InfoNut

[Magnolia]

Wow, I was tired and whiny last night...

Thank you very much for your replies. 

Dan, I am very lucky to have my boyfriend.  He even left work early that day because he wanted me to see my friends but knew I would have trouble leaving the house myself.

I should just chalk it up to her general nature and immaturity. 

It's so frustrating being MI because can be so paralyzing and people just don't

get it. 

I love my friends.  They know I have been dealing with some depression for years.  But they are the type of people that sit around and crack jokes to each other about their crazy frend. I guess I'm paranoid but I wouldn't put it past them.

I'm going to shoot her an email to see whats up.

[celestia]

Magnolia,

A lot of folks laugh and make fun of what they don't understand, it's called ignorance.

If you've already tried to teach your friend, and she's still behaving callously toward your MI, I would cut my losses. Been there, done that. It sucks.

It's better to GET OUT when signs of trouble first arrive, whether it's bf or gf.

And yes, you do have a home here, welcome!

S9

[Croix]

So, I decided to go to a baseball game with friends Saturday.

[Magnolia]

Thank you for your concern, Croix.

Last week was my first week on klonopin.  I had taken it Friday evening so I did not think it would still be in my system as much as it apparently was on Saturday afternoon.  I knew it was longer lasting than other meds but not that long.  I should have been more careful.

After that little "experiment", I will certainly not be drinking anymore.  My mental health, being able to get out of the house, is more important to me.  In the past, I usually used alcohol as a crutch when in social situations.  I've always been shy and it helped to liven me up.

I know she was not having a bad day.  That's just how she is, how her family is.  But life will go on and I won't confront her.  It's just not my style, I'm too much of a wuss. I know she has issues of her own...drinking yourself to the point of blacking out every weekend isn't very good...but she thinks she's cool for doing that.  I guess when I hang out with people like that, 5 beers in 4 hours doesn't seem so bad to me.

[ncc1701]

Heya Magnolia,

Nice to meet you.

Your first post grabbed me when you said you'd be just as happy with pets and BF.

Me too, although BF is now DH

If you really like having a bunch of friends on top of that, which it *sounds* like you do, yah, people are idiots, they *don't* get it, and you're handling things just fine.

And echo what everyone's saying about alcohol.

Welcome to CB.  People seem to *get it* here.

--ncc--