Magnolia Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 So, I decided to go to a baseball game with friends Saturday. I have a hard time leaving the house but I missed my friends and I thought it would be a really fun time. I debated between taking kklonopin to help me though it (big group of people going, only know about 6) or forgoing the klonopin and just having some beers with everyone else. I figured I'd just have beer because if I didn't, I'd have to answer a million and one questions about why i wasnt drinking and then listen to peer pressure. I had taken a 1mg klonopin around 6 Fri night so I figured I would be ok to drink. Well, I turned into a big freaking mess, seeing double, all whacked out, embarrasing for the amount of drinks I had - 5-6 over 3 hours, not a lot for a 23 yr old girl like me who can drink all night. I was going to go with my friends back to the town they live in, where I grew up. I wanted to hang out with them still and thought I would sober up and be ok back in my town (comfort zone). I needed to take a cab b/c I didn't feel comfotable being on a crowded, hot, smelly train. They didn't want to pay for a cab but my boyfriend said he'd pay for our cab but of of couse one bichy friend wants to go into the city, refuses to go back to hometown, want to take the train, we all say screw the train so we decied to take a cab to our car (we parked far away) and drive into city. once we are in the cab starts bitching about traffic, even though the train would have taken longer because of the herds of people trying to get on and the normal ride-time. I try to explain to her that I'm messed up on this medicine, I took it and mistakenly thought I would be ok to drink today. Try to explain to them that I dont feel well, that's why I want to go back to the hometown. She doesn't give two shits, says nothing and just puts her flipflop feet on me to stretch out in the back of the cab. We get to my boyfriend's car and I'm just in the front with my eyes welling up with tears. I couldn't talk, move. I was so angry and furious that she could be so inconsiderate of my feelings. My bf and I dropped her and my other friend (who was silent throughout this b/c he doesn't want to get in middle and just goes with whoever) off at the tain station by our house (1 stop into city) and said we'd see them later. I burst into tears, had a crying fit and just cryed myself to sleep until night. When I woke up 6 hours later, there were no missed calls from her. Thought maybe she'd want to hang out but guess not. I guess I just needed to vent. Thi friend, who is supposed to be my best friend, who just had a long talk with my boyfriend last weekend about the tough time I'm going through, who said she understood, is just a selfish bitch. She is insensitive and thinks of nothing but herself and whats good for her. It's her way or no way. I've been hurt by too many things she has said to me. I guess I put up with her b/c we grew up together and have been in the same group of friends for 20 years. I really wanted to open the cab door and kick her ass to the curb. I'm still so angry, I don't know what to say to her. I thought maybe I was overreacting and wasn't thinking clearly b/c I was so out of it but even my boyfriend who was sober said she was such a bitch. ANd she probably has no idea I'm pissed. I don't understand why she just likes to drink and blackout every weekend. I'm so over that (especially now, since I'm on klonopim, I need to plan drinking a week ahead). I'm so done with going out. I can't stand people. I'd be happy with my boyfriend, family and animals for the rest of my life. Sorry for all the typos. Lamictal has made me a bad speller and typist. I'm also a bad writer so I apologize if this is unclear. Just needed to vent. I'm so happy to have found this place. I finally feel like I fit in somewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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