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My mother died this week.


Guest Guest_zanne_*

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Guest Guest_zanne_*

My mother died on Easter Sunday.  She was the world's best mother and I miss her very much.  I was her caregiver for ten years.  I was expecting to mourn my mother, but I was never  expecting all this anxiety.  I've been having several panic attacks a day.  It was all I could do to get through the funeral.  To make the problem even worse, I don't have a doctor who will precribe me medication that will help.  (He's a former detox director and won't prescribe anything but anti-depressants). I don't have a pdoc.  I'm going to get one, but until then, I don't know what to do.  I"ve had a problem with alcohol in the past and I truly don't want to drink, but I'm so desperate I'm afraid I'll succumb to that.  Does anybody know how I can get some emergency help without being placed in a Psych unit?  Please help.

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I'm sorry to hear of your mothers death.  Give yourself permission to cry and grieve, that is normal.  You shouldn't be a pillar of stone, and no one expects that.  Panic attacks are miserable and can be frightening, I know. 

I would suggest seeing this doctor again, letting him know what a hard time you are having. Give him the opportunity to help you.  If you feel that you are not getting the help you need, then change doctors.

I don't know if you have had panic attacks before, but it is possible to reduce their effect. Learning that they are not going to hurt you and that you can keep them from escalating is important. 

First, disengage from what is upsetting you, mentally and physically. Break your train of thought, bring yourself back to the here and now. Change your location, go to another room, or outside.   

Next, focus on your body.  Unclench your muscles; legs, hands, jaw.  Let the tension go. Take control of your breathing.  Slow it down.  Feel the air flowing in and out.  Breath from the diaphram, slowly, slowly.

After two or three minutes you may feel your body relax and the anxiety ease.  If you start thinking again about the stressor and the anxiety rises again, repeat the process.

Hope that helps.

a.m.

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I'm so very sorry about your loss.  My father died 5 years ago and he was the best dad I could have had!  I understand your grief and anxiety.  Please do know it does lessen, although it might take some time.  Remember to, although your mom is gone, she is always around you.  I have moments I def. can tell my dad is with me.  Death is a very very strange thing, especially when it hits so close to you.  Please take care.

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