No Personality

[kalessin]

I'm experimenting with a blog on mental health, and thought I'd share it with you guys. It's here: No Personality

I also wanted to share my story, which I posted on the blog too. Sorry it's so long...

I was a sensitive, shy child who was always frustrated by the fact that I cried easily. I would try to be grown up and reasonable, but would find myself blubbering over things I didn't even really care about, the frustration over crying making me cry even more. As a small child I remember being frightened by dogs, sprinklers, loud noises, and strangers. I kept myself up all night worrying that the house was going to burn down or listening to sad music on the local easy listening station and getting myself all worked up over "Nadia's Theme."

My father had some issues, and my parents were miserable. They did a pretty bad job of handling the situation, and my sister and I spent a lot of time wondering what was wrong, and why they barely spoke to each other. When they finally got divorced, it was a relief, but still traumatic. My mom and sister sought counseling, but to me the idea was horrifying. I was terrified of dealing openly with my emotions. Instead, I developed intrusive thoughts of a typewriter keyboard. I was taking a typing class at the time and I started to see every word I heard, read, or spoke typed out on the keyboard in my mind. I couldn