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You know something?  I am sick of the man.  He is the best available on the NHS, I need him, but he makes me feel like a burden.

Half the problem is that I intimidate him.  I don't mean to, but I am knowledgeable when it comes to meds, I am enlightened (I don't think that mixing Wellbutrin with an SSRI is immediately lethal like most UK doctors seem to (j/k)!) and I am more knowledgeable than him in certain areas (tourettes - a main problem of mine).

You know, something that he first said to me upon my first visit sticks with me: "Well, if both sertaline and paroxetine failed, this may be VERY difficult to treat".  Of course, I pointed out that augmenting the AD with an AP (which would also help my tourettes) is sometimes helpful.  It worked like magic, for a while.

His only helpful advice was to use Cymbalta before resorting to an MAOI.  That worked well, before it pooped out on me.

I try to do his job for him.  I have presented him with reports, intimate mood diaries etc, but he seems ungreatful.

He tries to explain everything in terms of tourettes.  "I don't understand why you are so depressed.  Most people with your type of tourettes manage well enough"

He makes me feel like a criminal for telling him that, say, 40mg of diazepam is the minimum I must take to relieve me of a seemingly inexplicable eye condition that is a by-product of tourettes tics.  I have tried alternatives, have seen eye doctors, but nothing else seems to help.  Which is worse doctor?  Having to down at least a half flask of vodka to stop me feeling like I have a severe cramp IN MY FUCKING EYEBALLS, or taking a benzo in moderation?  I get the benzos, but I feel like a burden for putting him under pressure.  I don't look it, or even act it, but I am a sensitive guy and don't like upsetting people.

When I couldn't leave my house even to see him and I phoned him up and asked him to consider Xanax IN THE SHORT TERM (which I had to educate him about), he eventually accepted, but again made me feel guilty.

When I asked if I could talk about MY FEELINGS, he changed the subject.  " Aye, but what about your cymbalta..."  Does he feel uncomfortable because we are both men?  Does he feel insecure?  He is my God damned psychiatrist!

He is not a bad guy, but he is very immature when it comes to these things.  I once told him that I cried myself to sleep (I'm a man, I can admit that), and he looked embarrassed!

I feel like sacking him, I really do, but who else is there on the NHS?  I am currently taking a year out from uni because of my problems on his suggestion (I am greatful to him for that), but I need to get some more paper work from him if I am to get my tuition fees for the extra year paid for me.

And if I do fire him, it will take forever to explain myself to another pychiatrist.  My history is long, atypical and complex.

My only hope is that I can get in touch with a clinical psychologist who may actually talk to me.  I have been on the waiting list for about 2 years.

My GP has an interest in psychiatry, and I love the guy.  He respects me, and I respect him.  Perhaps I should just get him to steer for a while.

But I feel like nobody understands me.  I feel alone.  I feel like a freak.

Sorry for the rant, but I had to get it out.

Thank God for this forum.

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i'm sorry.

i have no advice because i don't live in the UK and don't understand the ins and outs of the NHS.

but i have had shit doctors.

and that's absurd that he can't handle talking about emotions.  sure, most pdocs now just write the script and turn you out the door, but they have to be used to patients crying and talking about emotions.  fuck, i've sobbed at my GP for fuck's sake and he didn't seem uncomfortable...

good luck with all of it.

certainly get all your school stuff sorted out before you make a move.

best

penny

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Hello '

I agree with Penny Docs should be able to deal with a patient showing emotions,  after all that is what makes us human...I athink there are alot of pdocs. that haven't done any of their own work and therefore are uncomfortable around any one who can show there emotions.  I know many pdocs are busy and they don't get into therapy but a little human compassion.. understanding..... please.

I sure hope you get yourself the help you need... in the form of an understanding and listening Psycologist or Therapist.

A friend in recovery  ......Scooterman

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And if I do fire him, it will take forever to explain myself to another pychiatrist.  My history is long, atypical and complex.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sorry you're having trouble with your pdoc, username.  I've had some losers myself and I also dread having to recite my whole history with a new one, especially now that I know it's a crap shoot as to whether the next one will be o.k., or I'll have to keep searching and repeating the same old story.

However, I did come across a good idea from a pdoc with a website named Dr. Phelps - sorry I don't have the link but I'm sure you can google him - my computer is weird tonight. Besides his website he has a practice and requests all his new patients to put together a written history and send it to him before their visit so that the first visit can be used to talk about what to do next, not what already happened. 

I'm also currently in the search for a new pdoc so I'm planning on putting together a written history of my own and sending it along a week before my first appointment, both in hard copy and on a CD so that my new pdoc will have a big head start on my past.  Especially since I'm middle-aged and the history is getting to be fairly long, I think it will be useful.  I also think it will help me gather my thoughts, and help me make sure I don't leave anything out.  And once it's done, I only have to add to it as time goes on, and can take it with me to future new pdocs, as I'm sure there will be some down the road. 

Hope you find some good help and wish the NHS waiting lists weren't so damn long!

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Dr. Phelps' very useful site is: PsychEducation.org. I think the info on putting together a written history Catnapper mentioned is at: http://www.co-psych.com/sendinfo.html -- looks like a good outline approach of what info to bring to a pdoc.

If it might apply to you, the section regarding bipolar spectrum disorder is: Mood swings without 'manic' episodes: Bipolar II - more than plain depression, but never delusional or psychotic. You might want to read this anyway. Many people with atypical or treatment-resistant depression respond well to mood stabilizers.

I'm one of them, and for whatever it's worth, Lamictal has helped to quell a very annoying tic I'd had for years. (Believe it or not, it involved snapping two toes together, just like snapping fingers, constantly. Could do nothing to stop it. Was so loud, people across the room would say "What is that noise?") Have no idea if diminishing tics is a common by-product of mood stabilizers though; might be just me.

My GP has an interest in psychiatry, and I love the guy.
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