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Bizarre, bloated cocktail is working


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We have been tinkering with my cocktail for sooo long. We know that nothing I have tried works alone at a dose low enough to avoid bad side effects (even Lamictal), and that Wellbutrin makes me a rabid, cycling freak, even with therapeutic doses of multiple mood stabilizers.

So I've been zombie-ing around in my little fog, and tapering the Abilify to deal -- but when we added Adderall, I could suddenly focus, and do things I didn't want to do ... and it's been a long time.

It is bizarre to be taking a pleasant drug with no side effects. I feel guilty, like I ought to be buying it on the street.

Could I really have ADD? Could I need the Adderall to counteract all the other drugs? Should I mess with a good thing by trying to get rid of some of them? Are they doomed to poop out?

The logic behind each of them is:

Abilify...function

lithium...neuroprotective and antisuicidal

Depakote (tiny dose)...stop cycling and focus

Lamictal...antidepressant

Adderall (tiny dose, 5 mg) get in gear/coffee substitute

I used to be all about the coffee, but I am an anxiety monster, too, and I always crash after a big panic. So no coffee for me anymore. And after I spent 15 years pickling my brain in it, I think I created a permanent dependency. So maybe I need Adderall just for that.

What do you think? Is the answer "it's okay Squirly, it's working" or "girl, get yourself to Hazelden"?

Thanks,

SG

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If it's working and you feel better THAT IS TERRIFIC!!!! ;)

I wouldn't worry about whether or not you have ADD. I never had a learning disability, but on crazy meds I have a crappy short-term memory and I can't spell. So it might just be to counteract the cognitive impairment.

Ya, it's working! It's a good thing.

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Ah, the big secrete behind Adderall: it elevates mood, helps focus attention, and improves memory...if you have a psych condition or not. And it hits the reward button and can decrease preexisting cravings for other drugs (of course it is a drug itself). It's a controlled substance and people like me will acquire it illegally; that doesn't mean it can't help people. In my opinion it is a fantastic alternative antidepressant, although with risks of abuse and mania. That Adderall helps you I don't think means you have ADD. If I were a doc and read your list of meds and their purpose, I wouldn't mess with any of them. If you think it's helping you, then it's helping you.

good luck!

We have been tinkering with my cocktail for sooo long. We know that nothing I have tried works alone at a dose low enough to avoid bad side effects (even Lamictal), and that Wellbutrin makes me a rabid, cycling freak, even with therapeutic doses of multiple mood stabilizers.

So I've been zombie-ing around in my little fog, and tapering the Abilify to deal -- but when we added Adderall, I could suddenly focus, and do things I didn't want to do ... and it's been a long time.

It is bizarre to be taking a pleasant drug with no side effects. I feel guilty, like I ought to be buying it on the street.

Could I really have ADD? Could I need the Adderall to counteract all the other drugs? Should I mess with a good thing by trying to get rid of some of them? Are they doomed to poop out?

The logic behind each of them is:

Abilify...function

lithium...neuroprotective and antisuicidal

Depakote (tiny dose)...stop cycling and focus

Lamictal...antidepressant

Adderall (tiny dose, 5 mg) get in gear/coffee substitute

I used to be all about the coffee, but I am an anxiety monster, too, and I always crash after a big panic. So no coffee for me anymore. And after I spent 15 years pickling my brain in it, I think I created a permanent dependency. So maybe I need Adderall just for that.

What do you think? Is the answer "it's okay Squirly, it's working" or "girl, get yourself to Hazelden"?

Thanks,

SG

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I spoke too soon. I take it back. Bipolar folks: do not take stimulants because of me.

I was sliding back down, so we supplemented the tiny dose of Adderall (5mg) with an even tinier dose of Dexedrine (1.25 mg). Rebound time!

Agitation, depression, anger, suicidal ideation, frosting and sprinkles. I won't be taking that again anytime soon -- or the Adderall either.

My current theory: stimulants are depressing.

SG

not too psyched about being on any meds right now

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