what shall I do at 3:45 in the morning?

[grey_purple_bliss]

Bonjour. To make a long story short, I spent most of middle and high school hiding in libraries during lunch, shaking and hyperventillating when I so much as thought about speaking in class, stuttering and stumbling and generally making an ass out of myself when I did talk, having things thrown at me, switching schools as a means of becoming invisible, and alienating myself because I felt incapable of normal human interaction. I tried to get help on a few occasions in middle and high school but couldn't convince anyone of how bad this really was. My favorite was one doctor who told me, "There are some things in life we just have to deal with."

I suffered through the rest of high school and finally made it to a community college, which all things considered was wonderful. After two good years there, I transferred to a four year school last fall. Things have been very very up and down here. I spent a lot of last semester hiding in my room and procrastinating because everything was just too frightening. I felt like so many people were depending on me to do well that I ended up doing rather badly.

At the end of last semester, I actually made an appointment with a doctor, explained in about 10 minutes my reasons for being there, and was prescribed Buspirone. A month or so passes, it's doing next to nothing and making me dizzy, she prescribes Paxil. It works for a while, dose gets increased, switch from a GP to a psychaiatrist, higher dose works but makes it so I can't sleep at night, lower dose, I get really depressed and anxious, raise dose again, more problems sleeping, and NOW I'm tapering off the Paxil and will be starting Celexa on Monday. IEEEEEE.

All of this switching around has made it really difficult to get work done, and I'm probably going to lose my financial aid at the end of the semester. SO YEAH. It's been a bizarre year.

Sorry that was so long, I'm wordy as all hell. I actually cut that down a ton before posting it.

[Kablume]

Grey purple bliss,

Welcome to our neighborhood! Hope you'll come back and keep posting.

When I was first diagnosed, it was a lot of trial and error. (Still is sometimes!) Do keep your Pdoc aware of what is going on, especially the not sleeping. That in itself can cause problems like depression and/or mania.

For school, there ususally is a department for disabled students that will help you in your schoolwork. Such as accomodations in test taking, note taking, etc. USE THEM!

Also, there is a wealth of experience here. Somebody here has been through it. So glad you are here and I hope you get everything all straightened out.

Sondra

[~nestling~]

welcome

[Lisa_K]

Welcome to boards grey purple bliss...if you need help with anything please let one of the mods know...I had a rough time in school as well (putting it mildly)....I think you'll find alot of threads and posts to relate to here....lisa

[celestia]

Hi, GPB, Love the name and avatar.

You can puke your guts up here, no need to fret about wordiness <i'm one of the wordier, so you might not have this on the best authority...>

Stick around, pull up a chair, relax, you're amongst those that can relate.

Welcome,

S9

[ncc1701]

Heya grey purple bliss,

Nice to meet you.

And yeah, babble all you want on here.

And *definitely* take advantage of student counselling and disability services while you have them -- huge gigantic pain after you graduate and have topay for all that crap yourself.

Then, graduate.

--ncc--

[brenagirl]

wow your life sounds so familiar......i finally gave in and saw a PDoc for the first time last year...and life has been hell....I am in college as well....my second year of nursing school none the less.....mania/no sleep + nursing school = bad grades....feel free to vent to me anytime you want...I am in the same situation!