gizmo Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 I have bipolar, and while I rarely have mania, it is well under control. What is not under control is my exreme edginess and anxiety and depressive episodes. I'd tried lamictal, seroquel, abilify, risperdal, depokote, lexapro, Effexor, Paxil. I currently take 1 mg of risperdal (trying to get off of because my prolactin is WAY too high, causing all sorts of female problems), 20 mg BID Geodon, 2 mg xanax mostly daily (sometimes not at all, sometimes twice a day - HMO doesn't cover XR) 20 mg celexa, 200 mg topomax. Here's the problem. Without taking the Xanax anytime during the day, I've notices since taking the Geodon that I can't sleep at night. When I do take the Xanax on the same day as the Geodon, I full-blown wet the bed. As in 7 times in three weeks, twice in the last three days. I mean, I'm an adult, I can't go around peeing all over stuff! WTF? But here's the even worse question: What the hell can I take that will cure this agitation/anxiety/depression? The agitation is so bad I can't focus at work and get nothing done. The anxiety attacks are almost a daily occurance. The xanax fixes those, but who wants to take Xanax every day? Pdoc doesn't want to switch me to Clonzepam because he's afraid it will zone me out and make me tired, and the Xanax actually helps me focus and doesn't make me tired. I have self-hate and some self-destructive OCD-type behaviors. My last depressive episode I said goodbye to my kids (first suicidal idealization in the 15 years I've had this disease) took a whole bunch of risperdal and started cutting on myself. The whole time, the rational portion of my brain kept saying no, but the bipolar portion was louder and wouldn't listen to reason. I ended up in quick care to take care of the wrist wound, walked around like a drunk person for the next day and a half, and had an emergency appt with the pdoc. I don't want that to happen again. What medicine do I have to take to make this go away? I've been taking different medicines for almost two years now. I'd stick with the geodon, but I can't keep waking up in a gigantic puddle of my own piss. It doesn't seem like there's much left for me, like I'm at the end of my rope. I'm getting really desperate here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.