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im broken

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If it was a change in meds, then you know you won't gain it back. I know that doesn't help, but maybe you can bring yourself around to that. As long as you're taking in enough calories, you'll be fine. The feeling like a piece of shit... that I would talk to the doc about.

Hiding something like that from him/her isn't going to help any.

"Can't hurt, might help."

Stuff like this can be hard to get into the open, can't it? I'm still not ready. For what it's worth, I'm proud of ya.


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I don't have any great words of wisdom for you, as I deal with my own self hatred issues because of my weight and what/when/how much I eat and weigh. I just wanted you to know that my heart goes out to you. I know your struggle and I know how bad it sucks. I wish you strength and whatever support I can give you.

Please take care of yourself.


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there is no reason to be embarassed for writing, tal.

I sort of understan where you are coming from. for various reasons, some of the time it was med related, I have gone from my binging to majorly restricting... and then i've gone even further all over the place.

It is really hard to be where you are and feel what you are feeling, hating yourself when you break and scared that the weight is going to come back...

If you are no longer making progress toward getting better, why don't you want to try new meds? the weight issue? It is all a vicious cycle and it sucks, I know. I thought that the topamax was working really well for you, though... when did that change?

I'm sorry things are shitty and I wish that there was something I could do to help.

feel better, hun


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  • 1 month later...

You sound pretty normal to me. I don't know if you weight yourself or measure. But either way, try to only do it once a week, especially the weighing.

Think of this as an experiment. Wait and see what happens. Even if you are king pig of the universe, I can't see you gaining more than five pounds in a week. Though, once on vacation, I gained 12 in one week. But the food was WONDERFUL. And I lost four of that back almost immediately.

Keep up updated.

Oh, and are your meds not keeping you stable mentally? Don't fix what it's broken, man. I'd say if you got to the prevous weight, or got your "weight acceleration" higher than 10 lbs a week, then yeah, do something. That's not right. But, like, if it took you a year to get to the old weight, and you were snacking and Taco Belling the whole time, well, that's to be expected.

If you want to obsess, there's always fitday.com.

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