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I Have To Cut


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;):):cussing::wtf::cussing::cussing:

Hello!!

I have to cut. My parents left the house about 15-20 minutes ago. I've been waiting for them to go. It feels better if nobody else is in, sometimes.

I can't go a whole day without cutting. I hate these feelings. I made two minor cuts earlier, but now I have to go deeper. I can bleed for the next two hours and nobody will know, not even accidentally :cussing: Harder, deeper, faster. I can help these feelings. It's amazing how a three-inch blade can make me feel so much better than any nurse, counsellor or psychiatrist could.

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It's amazing how a three-inch blade can make me feel so much better than any nurse, counsellor or psychiatrist could.

And that would indicate that you are holding back.

Glad you are still here. Last time I saw you, you were outa here.

Hope posting this at least makes you go back and read what you wrote. It isn't a happy thought.

Breeze

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I know what it is like not to be able to help these kinda of feelings. It makes things very difficult, I know. Cutting seems like a very satisfying instant thing, but it really doesnt *solve* anything. I know that that really doesnt help much. I say that and, yet, I still get tempted to cut even though it has been a long 49 days without. It is a struggle, but not impossible to overcome. No, I have not "overcome" the cutting habit yet... I am far from it... but many people on the boards have successfully. Cutting is a coping mechanism... there are other ways to deal with the pain we feel and, with the right treatment and hard work, I'm sure that you will be able to help yourself with this.

Maybe try to write on this thread when you feel the urge to cut and see how it makes you feel, if it releases any tension at all. Try some safer alternitives... go to that SI clinic you have been mentioning... I know that it is very hard to try and help yourself... in fact, it is extremely difficult in some cases. It seems like an uphill battle, but we are all here and it seems like your family is there to support you as well... or your dad, i know how difficult family relationships can be and support systems.

take care of yourself and be well

~Ophelia~

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Hello!!

I'm sorry. I just had to do it. I feel better now :wtf: Some of the problems seem to have fluttered away for the moment :cussing: I'm abit concerned about one cut near my elbow. It's very short (2 cm?), but quite wide (1/2 cm?). Anywho, my forearm stings a little, but I feel better. I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone. I couldn't resist it and I had no-one to talk to (on MSN or the chat room, which I can't access). I could try writing on here instead, but sometimes it takes a while for a response (that is *not* a criticism though, I like it here alot). The guilt feeling will probably come soon..... ;)

And that would indicate that you are holding back.
Yes, I admit I have been so far. For the last few days I have been making a lot of notes on various issues to help me during my next visit to the counsellor. I need to admit to her that I haven't been completely honest, and then be completely honest about everything. I think the notes will help me with that. Thinking of things to say to express everything I feel is sometimes difficult on the "spur of the moment".

Try some safer alternitives... go to that SI clinic you have been mentioning... I know that it is very hard to try and help yourself... in fact, it is extremely difficult in some cases.
I will probably go and visit it for the first time tomorrow. Sunday seems like a day that plenty of people will be there. I don't know why. Everything just feels like an uphill battle, like you said, that I am losing every day :) I hope you fully overcome the habit and I hope I do one day too. It just feels...... impossible at the moment :cussing: My family has been very supportive so far though.

Thank you!!

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Easyrider, I'm gonna jump in with my boots on.

The purpose of this forum is to help one another avoid cutting and cope with the stresses. Not to discuss how you do it and how much better it makes you feel.

I appreciate you are going through tough times, but getting better requires an attitude shift, and a different focus on your posts.

a.m.

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The majority of my last post wasn't discussing how I do it (did I ever discuss this specifically?) and how much better it makes me feel.

You didn't jump in with your boots on. Jumping in with your boots on would have been to say "fuck off posting topics like this", which is what you meant if we put bluntly.

I have no other place to vent right now. If that's all it takes to get disliked, then I quit. This is just another place at another time ;) Believe me, this board will get sick of me eventually. It's how it goes. I'm sorry my attitude doesn't fit the criteria. Goodbye.

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You should learn to tapdance. That way you could cut and tapdance. That would be even more fun.

Let's all sing along shall we?

Cutting in the rain, just cutting in the rain, what glorious feeling I'm happy again.

Was there tapdancing in singing in the rain?

I suppose not. One might fall, tapdancing in the rain.

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