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I got the name of the boards, from a special woman in another online community we belong to. Bless her.

My biological father is bipolar. He takes his meds, feels good, stops taking them, ends up in the hopital, you know the routine.

I've had General Anxiety Disorder all my life, but was diagnosed at 17. I've been on more antidepressants than one women needs. Name a brand, been there, taken that.

But, since I've turned 40 something is very wrong. at first, I thought it was PMS run wild. But these feelings can get me at any time of the month now. My periods are, like clockwork, every 28 days, since the age of 9. I have NO hot flashes, night sweats etc.

I don't know if I'm in peri-menopause. Or bipolar. And I'm scared to death it's the latter. I'm sorry if I'v offended anyone with that comment. I've even dissed the man who created me for heavens sake.

But gosh, it would be so much easier to say goodbye to my ovaries than my mind.

I know I can't go on feeling this way for much longer. It's now affecting EVERY part of my life, including work.

I'll have a good day, then a horrid one. One day I'll cry all day, the next I'm laughing and talking too fast in almost a hyperstimulated way. I never worry about sleep. I could sleep forever. In other words, a psychiatrist told me everyone with bipolar has days without sleep. I have never ever done that. I have no voices in my head. No paranoia.

But the suicidal thoughts are almost daily now. And the ironic thing is.... my worst fear..is death.

I have mood swings, fits of worrying, unable to concentrate or read a book, anger, then extreme happiness and feeling on top of the world. Then silence. Then that feeling that I don't want to live this life anymore.

Is there anyone who finds any of this familiar. I would be so grateful


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There is a lot that could be going on. Oft times, women who start their menses at a very young age also experience menopause at a younger age. Fifty-three is the average, mid- to late-forties is common. Perimenopause can be going on for years before your periods actually stop. And fluctuations in hormone levels can play havoc with mood as well as trigger mood disorders, especially if you have any genetic loading in that direction.

Get thee to thy doctor. It's obvious from your post that you're worried about yourself. Addressing it now can save you a world of heartache later on. When you see your doc, don't leave out the part about a first degree relative with bipolar. Ask directly if your doctor has experience in treating mood disorders generally and bipolar specifically.

Frequently, low dose birth control pills can control the mood symptoms of perimenopause. That would be a good place to start. The next step in generally adding an antidepressant, but you want to be really careful with that as they can trigger mania. That's how several people here learned they were bipolar.

This is an excellent site about Bipolar II. It kind of sounds like where you might be on the spectrum.

Let us know how you're doing. There's a lot of support here.


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Thank you so much for that advice.

I do have an appt with my GP on Tuesday and my psychiatrist, I want to get in to see him again ASAP and not wait the 2 weeks or so I have left to go.

Thanks for listening to me. It's been a scary few days. It means a lot.


Oh shoot, I forgot to mention something important. I can't take estrogen of any kind. I get familial hemeplagic (sp) migraines. So any unnatural increase in estrogen increases my risk of stroke to 1 in 50.

Sorry I forgot to leave that out.

I'm showing no signs from a physical standpoint of menopause (periods like clockwork, no hot flashes, no sweaty nights etc.). I have also had 4 miscarriages in recent years that have surely messed up my hormones.

I'm praying it's hormonal, but I'm going to get to the bottom of it. And I'll deal with it either way. I just can't feel like this anymore.

Thanks again

p.s. and thanks for that link. I had no idea there was a BiPolar II

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Dear All, is it possible that you could use an estrogen patch if indeed you need or want additional estrogen? It is not absorbed in the same way as oral estrogen, and doesn't fuck with your body chemistry quite as much

Peri-menopause can cause depression, and obviously hormonal changes. I am not familiar with any lasting hormonal changes caused by miscarriages, usually the miscarrage can be caused by changes in hormones, or a lack of some hormones, especially progesterone. So you may be putting the cart before the horse, so to speak.

No matter--you need to see a GYN, unless your GP is a wonder-whiz, cause first thing you need is some rather sophistcated blood tests (FSH, LH, estridiol, for example) and THEN work on the depression.

PM me if you want to talk more-I have been a RN in OB/GYN and in reproductive endocrinology/infertility for about 20 years. Hope I can be a good source for you.

Meanwhile, you are here among friends, so please feel free to rant and vent to your heart's content!

Love and welcome,


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