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I feel rotten tonight ;):):cussing: I can't believe I have done this to myself. Fair enough, I am a shithead and my brain may not be the best it has ever been, but I can't believe I have injured my beautiful, smooth forearm. It was so nice. I compared them and I feel and look at my nice, white, smooth right forearm and then my ugly, scarred, part-pink left forearm and I feel so horrible. I've let everyone down. I've let myself down. I've created something for people to stare at and think I am weird. It will be with me for the rest of my life. My whole life I will see these scars. I'm so pathetic. I deserve to die, right now I wish I was (though I'm not suicidal, just sad). I'm so fucked up...... :wtf::cussing: :cussing:

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Ah fuck, my chest feel tight and painful. I can't sleep at all even though I feel tired. I can't get the bullying out of my head ;) What did I do to deserve it? I didn't do anything! I can barely breathe :)

does your doc let you adjust in small amounts your Zopiclone? if so, take it to the higher limit - chest tight and painful is anxiety, sounds like. maybe you need to take your med and calm yourself down.

and take care of whatever injuries you made, before you take your meds and get too drowsy.

remember that this forum isn't a replacement for proper medical care or therapy, so sometimes people aren't here right when you need them. try to stay safe.

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Yeah, I can take one or two Zopiclone. If I feel bad, like tonight, I take two. I didn't make any cuts tonight. I hate myself for doing what I already did to myself. Strangely, tonight is the least likely night I will cut for ages.

I saw the counsellor today and I have an appointment next Monday. Different issues tend to surface at different times. I guess tonight it is the bullies turn again. I just don't understand why and what I did wrong ;) The memories won't go.

My chest is wrecking!! It is so tight :)

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I feel rotten tonight ;):):cussing: I can't believe I have done this to myself. Fair enough, I am a shithead and my brain may not be the best it has ever been, but I can't believe I have injured my beautiful, smooth forearm. It was so nice. I compared them and I feel and look at my nice, white, smooth right forearm and then my ugly, scarred, part-pink left forearm and I feel so horrible. I've let everyone down. I've let myself down. I've created something for people to stare at and think I am weird. It will be with me for the rest of my life. My whole life I will see these scars. I'm so pathetic. I deserve to die, right now I wish I was (though I'm not suicidal, just sad). I'm so fucked up...... :wtf::cussing: :cussing:

I have scars I am sure as hell not proud of. I am not one of those people who wears them as a badge of honor or something, as I have known others to do. It is the middle of summer and I still wear long sleeves because I feel that upset and ashamed. I do not want people seeing the damage I have done to my entire left forearm... have to see the ugliness of it all... then I would also have to explain it.

There are a number of scar treatments you can try to lighten up the scars on your arm to help make them less noticable. There are treatments both perscription and over the counter. I have used a whole mix of over the counter creams and stuff that have worked to lighten them a little bit, but have not yet tried anything that needed a perscription.

It is upsetting to realized the damage you have done to yourself, I know. I am not proud of it. I regret so much of it... starting and still having horrible urges to do it even though I know the damage I have done. It doesn't seem like it now, but it is possible, with time and with treatment (meds and therapy) to... I don't exactly know how to put it... accept things more and become more comfortable with yourself. These things, the ideas of the scars, are still fresh in your mind... they still bother me as well, but I also know people who have somewhat gotten over hidding behind their scars and harping over the fact that they are there. they just go on living.

so, no, you are not pathetic or fucked up and you do not deserve to die. You did not "let everyone down." I wont lie and say that I haven't felt that way too and still don't at times, but things will get better... i promise...

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Hello!!

I really, really don't want to sound selfish or cruel when I say this, because I am not been, but it is a little comforting to know that I am not the only person experiencing these feelings. But yet, I am so sorry to hear that you feel this way too. It is a horrible feeling that I don't wish on anyone. It's weird that we cut in the same place, to me that is. I guess there aren't too many large areas to cut though.

I am so ashamed of my scars and current scabs. I haven't shown any of my family anything yet. I daren't. I am scared and ashamed to wear less than a jumper, not even a long-sleeve t-shirt yet. I will investigate the scar treatments that are available. Thank you for the advice. I didn't realise creams were available or that some treatments required a prescription.

I'm just so upset at what I have done to a part of my body that was so smooth and beautiful. I wish I could take it all back. The health problems that people have, including my sister, and I do this to myself. I..... I'm just...... meh, horrible. I damaged my body on purpose, and yet I want to punish myself by doing it again. I stop myself though. I wish I had a time machine so bad. If I had one though, I would go back to been 14 but with a better mentality at that age (getting side-tracked here).

It feels like I let people down, most of all myself. I look at my arm and feel sad and regret.

I will try to stay strong. It's hard sometimes. I will try to talk about the bullies more with my counsellor. She already knows I was bullied, but we've barely touched the issue. There is so much to talk about. Thank you, though. It's nice to know people will listen.

I hope you feel OK, everyone.

Take care!!

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