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internal dialogue yelling in my head?


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This is difficult to explain and will hopefully not come off sounding totally stupid. On various occasions, usually just when I'm really tired/stressed out, it feels like my internal dialogue is screaming in my head. I'll try not to think too much because it will only get worse if I do, but then my mind starts going faster and faster. Everything starts sounding louder and louder. Keys on the keyboard, the sound of my feet on the carpet, fabric brushing against me all seem horrifyingly loud and scary. Sometimes I'll put on music to drown this out, but most of the time it just makes it worse. The music will sort of start to invade my head and become part of the noise, become another overwhelmingly loud and harsh sound.

Generally, this happens late at night and I take it as a sign that I need to sleep. But one day a couple of weeks ago, I had been feeling weird all morning, which progressed to hot and dizzy and jittery, which culminated in this bizarreness. I had been playing music earlier, and the same couple of lyrics were stuck in my head, over and over and over, yelling. It was disturbing. Also, when this happens it's not always just screaming or yelling; my own voice that I think in is altered somehow... it gets deeper or sounds like someone else's entirely. But it's still me thinking. I don't know. That's the best I can describe it. ;)

This has been happening on and off for years, although I think since I started Celexa a few weeks ago (for anxiety, switched from Paxil), it's been happening more frequently.

Editing this again to add something. As of about five minutes ago, this was happening. And I noticed something that I guess I had forgotten about: everything feels like it's in fast motion. I was folding clothes, and it seemed like time was slowing down and speeding up. Like I'd be folding something and feel like I wasn't in control of what I was doing, just watching hands folding, and someone had pressed the fast forward button. I'd go to put the shirt in a pile and feel everything slow back down, someone had pressed play again. Every time this would happen, it was disorienting. I'd sort of get a head rush as things slowed down. I've got a weird headache now that I didn't have before this started.

Originally, this was just something I was curious but not terribly concerned about. But recently, it's been getting more frightening. Something about it this time was differerent than usual, more distorted.

I'm so sorry if I'm obnoxious. Really. I worry that no one has responded because I'm being trivial and stupid, but I'd feel even worse just deleting the post.

Edited by grey_purple_bliss
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This is difficult to explain and will hopefully not come off sounding totally stupid. On various occasions, usually just when I'm really tired/stressed out, it feels like my internal dialogue is screaming in my head. I'll try not to think too much because it will only get worse if I do, but then my mind starts going faster and faster. Everything starts sounding louder and louder. Keys on the keyboard, the sound of my feet on the carpet, fabric brushing against me all seem horrifyingly loud and scary. Sometimes I'll put on music to drown this out, but most of the time it just makes it worse. The music will sort of start to invade my head and become part of the noise, become another overwhelmingly loud and harsh sound.

This sounds alot like the anxiety attacks I get. Things seem louder and all the sounds merge together creating this 'attacking' wall until I get totally overwhelmed. These are outside sounds (for me), but perhaps it's the same mechanism at work? It's not unusual to hear things in your head & some people are better at the audio visualization than others. I talk to myself in my head & I can hear music and other things quite clearly (even though I know it's in my head & retain control over it). Perhaps you're simply internalizing? You get anxious and your head does the rest.

This has been happening on and off for years, although I think since I started Celexa a few weeks ago (for anxiety, switched from Paxil), it's been happening more frequently.
Did you ever have this happen before you were on the meds?

Editing this again to add something. As of about five minutes ago, this was happening. And I noticed something that I guess I had forgotten about: everything feels like it's in fast motion. I was folding clothes, and it seemed like time was slowing down and speeding up. Like I'd be folding something and feel like I wasn't in control of what I was doing, just watching hands folding, and someone had pressed the fast forward button. I'd go to put the shirt in a pile and feel everything slow back down, someone had pressed play again. Every time this would happen, it was disorienting. I'd sort of get a head rush as things slowed down. I've got a weird headache now that I didn't have before this started.

Originally, this was just something I was curious but not terribly concerned about. But recently, it's been getting more frightening. Something about it this time was differerent than usual, more distorted.

I would question whether your new medication might be responcible. These drugs change the way your brain functions.. It could be that you were already sensitive to this and the meds just gave you the extra push you needed. That being said, I don't think you should worry about the actual occurance - just how it occured. The back and forth action and the longevity of it. Feeling like time is slowing down is just 'one of those things' it happens & it's odd... but it doesn't mean anything. I've had times like that.. where a few seconds feel like minutes. (No speeding up, but if one can happen naturally I'm sure the other can as well) It doesn't make you weird or crazy. It's just something that our brains are able to do with the right stimulus. Find out what that stimulus is & you might be able to stop it; either by stopping the med if it's to blame or stopping the mindset that brings it on. If I remember correctly, I think I've had the same emotion/thought going through my mind whenever it's happened... sort of a mix of panic and acceptance..

I'm so sorry if I'm obnoxious. Really. I worry that no one has responded because I'm being trivial and stupid, but I'd feel even worse just deleting the post.

I'm glad you didn't because then I wouldn't have been able to respond. ;)

Oh, and as a general rule.. if it bothers you, then it's never trivial or stupid. Never negate the importance of your feelings, ok?

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  • 14 years later...

I used to experience this phenomenon quite often as a child, but less so now as an adult. I had an episode just this afternoon, exactly as you describe in this post. My inner monologue (the little voice inside my head) becomes a loud, distant, yelling voice that sounds more like my dad’s than my own. It sounds almost as if someone is yelling into a fan. I’m usually reading something during these episodes, and every word is over-enunciated and shouted by this seemingly angry voice inside my head. It’s not an auditory hallucination, I don’t “hear” anything, but it’s much louder and more intense than my normal inner monologue. Additionally, my perception of time ebbs and flows; the world seems to be moving fast but my mind reads things very slowly and deliberately. Visually, the words I’m reading seem to jump off of the paper, while the book itself appears further away than it actually is.

Like you, I’ve always been curious about this but have never had any luck finding a name or cause for this phenomenon. I don’t think it’s caused by anxiety, I have anxiety every day but this phenomenon only happens once or twice a year. Perhaps it’s caused by stress or another hormonal stimulus. Strangely enough, I don’t try to stop it when it happens. Usually I come out of it after a few minutes despite trying to make it last longer. Hopefully it never reaches the point yours has, where it’s uncomfortable or frightening. 

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  • 3 months later...
On 1/13/2021 at 4:46 PM, doublem_93 said:

It’s not an auditory hallucination, I don’t “hear” anything, but it’s much louder and more intense than my normal inner monologue. Additionally, my perception of time ebbs and flows; the world seems to be moving fast but my mind reads things very slowly and deliberately.

I also have this happen. I remember the first time i noticed this shouting, slowed internal dialog, sometime around age 4 5 or 6. I'm 17 now, 18 in July. I can't completely remember each and every time but it's basically the same. I notice my internal dialog is shouting, slowly. Sometimes even spelling the word out at first but then finishing it off yelling/shouting. I can say it's my own voice from what I remember, don't know how frequently it happens but last time was a couple months ago. Not anxiety either, though I do have. I find i most notice it happens when I'm doing something, arranging stuff, moving stuff. Weird. I doubt it is anything serious, ofcorse. But something that goes on in my world lol.

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