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what the hell am i doing wrong?

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so i wake up with heart palpitations cuz i am all panick mode/anxiety overload. get up take a clonazepam .5, no coffee. and wait to calm the fuck down. but instead, i go into an agitated depression. weeping uncontrollably now. i just want the tears and the suicidal ideation, and the anxiety and shit to go away. i took clonazepam .5 last night about an hour after 1 mg of lorazepam, and an hour before my evening depakote/trazodone 1-2 bed time sleep punch, so i went to sleep. yay.

but i have to get through this weekend. i have to be able to do stuff. i am hanging on by a thread. should i just say fuck the clono cuz it makes me depressed apparently, and stick with the lorazepam, and just go up from 1mg to 2? i just dont know what to do, and my pdoc is a frerakin absent minded professor.

i just really need all this shit to stop. i just cant cry the whole weekend away.

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My name is Breeze and I have anxiety too. :) I have been on both Ativan and Klonopin. Klonopin is stronger.

At night, I have those killer panic attacks where your heart races and you are overcome with impending doom. ;) So I took .75 of Klonopin and 1200 mgs of Neurontin. The Neurontin at bedtime works well for me. But this wasn't enough. So I took .10 of Ativan over the course of an hour, and that still didn't work so I would get up. Take another .5 of Klonopin, and fall asleep.

Now I am on 1.5 mgs of klonopin at night. No Ativan. Last night was the first night and I had a hint of panic, but it may have been the No Ativan factor so I took .25 of Klonopin and fell asleep.

The difference is: I am not depressed and I don't have panic during the day.

You are on overload. I would suggest that you take little bits every couple hours so that you are not spiking. If you take say half a Klonopin or half an Ativan every hour if need be or two, maybe that will stop the spiking.

I don't know if Klonopin can make you depressed. I just know it is stronger than Ativan and it works better for me. Why don't you experiment a bit, and take half doses? If that doesn't work, whole ones and call your p-doc Monday.

You are in a lot of stress which is bordering on crisis. Take care and turn on your IM :cussing:


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What about increasing the mood stabilizer?

Since I don't take a mood stabilizer, I don't know if this is reasonable or not, but someone probably does.

Or, do like Breeze said, and just keep the anti-anxiety meds constant, so you don't have breakthrough anxiety. Big hugs to you, my dear. I know how much anxiety sucks.

Wishing you peace and calm, sweetie.

You are going to get the house. Repeat after me.

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klonopin makes me weep like crazy. which is really fucking unhelpful. i'd forgotten how horrid klonopin is for me because i switched to xanax xr about a year ago but i went out of town and smart me forgot her xanax. so i was on the metro in DC with my husband and i have a panic attack and he gives me a klonopin and instead of calming me down it helps launch me into a full on sobbing hissy fit on the street complete with full tourist onlooking at the crazy girl. classy.

so yeah, for some people klonopin is bad. it launches my mood severely down and makes me not just sad but weepy and sometimes kinda hysterical. it's fun, really.

and it sounds like it does this to you as well.

if you have enough ativan to get you through the weekend, use the ativan and stay away from that klonopin bottle. and call your pdoc and tell him/her what happens with the klonopin. you don't' have to feel like this it's not helpful and it's unnecessary.

sorry you're having such a rough weeked.


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My name is Breeze and I have anxiety too. ;) I have been on both Ativan and Klonopin. Klonopin is stronger.

Geez, I expected the talking horse to say *breathe* oh wait that's her :cussing: word...Can't you just imagine Mr. Ed speaking and Breeze's voice coming out?? :) Okay, going to get the candy now and donuts.




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