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So...I haven't been in shape enough to post. I ended up with Serotonin Syndrome (again!) from Tegretol and told to stop taking it cold turkey, then had a rash from Lamictal as my blood concetration nearly doubled (on the same dose, because the tegretol was hampering metabolism so when I stopped that, up it went all of a sudden...) so the Lamictal had to be stopped too.

This is my third tussle with serotonin syndrome, which is a serious medical emergency on its own and induces rapid cycling for weeks afterwards too. With no meds but the prn Zyprexa (which zombifies me and I can't, as a single parent, view as a real option except on emergencies) I am in mixed state hell, and still recuperating from convulsions from stopping my meds and from the serotonin reaction itself. In adition I am having bad, bad migraines twice a week or so. No help for these things...just tylenol 3's and a bit of ativan when the shaking gets too much.

My doctor has refered me to a research/specialist team who works on "difficult" cases in the city (three weeks' wait or so...) and in the meantime is at a loss what to do. See, he says all medications for BP will affect serotonin, thus he can't risk them on me. So here I sit, losing my mind...suffering from suicidal depression, horrible anxiety, occasional paranoia and deep despondency but to name a few.

Well I read everything I could (my brains fried rigth now, and sometimes the head pain just blinds me, literaly, and and and...) I cant find any info on meds that won't affect serotonin. Any help/reassurance that such indeed exist should help the utter desperation at least.

I can't go on like this. If I can't be medicated, I can't parent and I know it, so I'll have to give up custody of my kids. I can't live in such pain either. I can't take this for long. You have no idea how scary it is, as I sit here all alone...shaking, crying, panicking.

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I really think you should ;;be taking Zyprexa to sleep at least. I take Seroquel at bedtime, and I can function during the day. You might want to weigh which one will have more impact on the kids--being somewhat zombified, but calm, or being in mixed states and crying.

I feel for you, but Zyprexa sounds like a better, if not great, option. Or try taking half the recommended dose.

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Oh Freesoul!

I know how hard you worked to get your kids. I am so sorry this is happening. Hopefully there will be a med that can help you. Shit.

I don't know enough about BP to suggest any, just know my thoughts are with you. This will work out. Hang in there and it is good to see you again. Even if the circumstances aren't great.

Breeze

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Okay. I'm better off clarifying...

My doctor and I agreed that Zyprexa cannot be a long term medication for me. It's brutally sedating, as in I sleep 14 hours, can't even do dishes without dropping them, my son has to stop me from walking into traffic and it causes depersonaliztion-like states where I could care less if my kids have any clean clothes or a dentist's appointment. This is at 2.5 mg a day, one quarter of a minimum therapeutic dose. I'm just weird that way, wacky reactions...a very unusual case, apparently. Yes, of course I take it at nigth. So I can get out of bed by midafternoon, to go loll around on the sofa.

I can take the damn thing during mania and still function. Not while sick and down however. Rigth now, it is only being given to me so I don't end up killing myself in a fit or something...to keep me quiet. It does nothing whatsoever for my moods except just that, paralyse me for a while. It does not end the depression. Not to metion I put on 5 lbs in ONE WEEK...just imagine.

Nonetheless, it is the one thing that didn't almost kill me so this is what they give me. Why does my pdoc not know if any med out there is safe for me to take? anyone here have an idea?

But yeah, I take as much of the damn thing as I can and still survive...it just isnt doing much. Or I wouldn't be complaining, rigth?

I don't wanna come accross as a bitch (even thou I am most of the time rigth now, lol...ok not funny. just ask my kids. mommy stop yelling! "irritability is a part of serotonin syndrome (and mixed state) says the doc...ok sweetie?" grrr). But I'm someone who actually WANTS to take the meds...oh the irony!

I hope for us we will get through this one...

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Ahhh...the picture is more clear. Now I can understand why you don't want to do Zyprexa long term. I wish I knew more about the different meds so I could make a helpful suggestion.

Have you checked the crazymeds.us website?

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OH FS,

This breaks my heart. Goddamn geography and poverty. I want to come take care of your darling gems so you can focus on getting better. I would so do that. In a heartbeat.

HANG IN THERE. Don't stop fighting. This is going to be one hell of a white knuckle ride but you are made of TOUGH STUFF! You can do this. 3 weeks is not 3 mos. and you will be seeing one of the best there is. You've told me what town you live in so I believe a town that size probably has some top notch experts.

Please hang on. One minute at at time if you have to. You've worked to hard. YOU ARE NOT going to lose your children.

Keep posting if it helps.Do WHATEVER if it helps and keeps you and the kidlets safe.

Love,

Suze

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I"m so sorry you're going through this crap. It makes me feel wonderful to have "just" my own DXes!

If you can't take Zyprexa, you could try some Seroquel at night. If you need help with trembling or other shaking, you can try Inderal (I take Inderal for my EPS from Zyprexa).

Wish I could help more. I'm not so familiar with your conditions.

loon

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I am in a weird place...I am really really anxious and yet avoiding taking any of my stash of Clonazepam...a stash I keep in case I want to die. I don't want to take Zyprexa either cause I have a paper I have to write that I didn't work on for the last 5 days like I was supposed to because of the zombies. I had a migraine last nigth and still have a headache, which extreme anxiety and crying doesn't help. I get very physical anxiety: teeth and jaw clenching, body spasms, sobbing, pacing around.

This is hell, this is just like what led me to the hospital last year. Why do I have to be alone in the whole entire world, dammit! why is my kids to only thing people care about...I feel like an automaton cow: all it matters is that I can care for those tose children, or am able to pretend to more or less, that's my sole purpose in the face of the earth, a kid-raising machine and anything else I may be feeling matters not. Go ahead, hate me. But this is a burden that should not rest on someone sick and desperate, to have to be perfect at something so high stress as single parenting ( a special needs kid no less, and broke to booth). I RESENT IT. I feel trapped: I can't relax or stop caring, can't drug myself into oblivion, can't go to the hospital, can't scream I NEED HELP in case the social services people hear, can't even stop working for a while, can't run away, can't do anything that may help because of those kids. yes I am enraged. I feel angry. I hate myself for being such a loser I have not a single friend who would help...soryytoo crazy for that, besides, I can't allow anyone to see me like this, oh no. Dangerous, I am being watched all the time. Why must I be so pathetically distressed and yet not crazy enough not to care of the consequences?

Can't take seroquel either...this and another older AP (haldol) gave me stiffness and fever ( mild EPS, in other words) My pdoc insists he's never seen a more nitpicky overreactive brain, nor has anyone he's talked to. One in thousands, he says. Shakes his head, smiles (how dare he! how dare he smile while I look at him begging him with my eyes to end this horrible hell of anxiety)

Sorry, S9, but if I can't be treated I'm not going to keep on figthing. To try and make it with the active illness is too much mess, way too much pain.

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Heya freesoul,

1. I never recommend flushing meds (sedated fishes) but flush the clonazepam. Now.

2. (should be 1.) Your kids will understand. Kids (as you know) are very, very resilient, more than we give them credit for.

3. Honestly I can't recall whatall you've tried. Has lithium been ruled out??

4. Hospital is not a bad idea. Quicker to get a comprehensive consult, really.

5. Research study is *good.* Stay alive till then ok.

We're here.

--ncc--

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Hey...still here. Yeah. Even had an okay day, for once...thinking maybe time will fix this, if nothing else, after all doesn't it always in the end. Optimistic rigth now. But, stopping meds cold is THE BITCH.

Thanks for being there always...all of you. Thanks. Apart from my doc, (who did call me just to talk today) you guys are all I've got in these times.

ncc, I hear ya...couldn't do it. But I'm safe for now.

Serotonin finkiness rules out lithium, as well as risperidone, all the valproates and of course any AD's (and a whole bunch of other things, from cough syrup to food supplements to antibiotics to some blood pressure and migraine meds; I was given a long list and told to memorize it. And if possible get a medicalert bracelet. It was that serious). The unlikely Teg reaction rules out trileptal as well. Rapid stiffness and fever rules out some of the AP's; other issues as well with those. Desperate, I tell ya...

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I didn't know that lithium messed with serotonin...

Lithium will decrease available serotonin.......

"Lithium enhances the uptake of norepinephrine and serotonin into the synaptosomes, thus reducing their action".

Lithium major draw back is that it is named lithium. Consider it carbon/2 and give it a try. There is good reason it is the gold standard.

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I have nothing against giving lithium a try. It messed up my mom really bad, but even so, yes, I wanted to try it. According to my pdoc it is among those medications that can cause serotoning syndrome, and thus he rules it out, seeing as to how serotonin syndrome is landing me in the ER every few months.

"Lithium enhances the uptake of norepinephrine and serotonin into the synaptosomes, thus reducing their action".

I'm not sure how this makes sense in ligth of your findings, Glen.I can ask the doc to doble check. Maybe I should do some more research, but I have a freaking migraine as it is now, so not up to looking.

Apparently I can take lamictal as it is not particularly serotogenic. I think Topa may be an option, or at least I have found nothing about topiramate messing with serotonin...but who knows. Haven't found anything to say it doesn't.

Thanks for the help and ideas and support, it is much welcomed.

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I have nothing against giving lithium a try. It messed up my mom really bad, but even so, yes, I wanted to try it. According to my pdoc it is among those medications that can cause serotoning syndrome, and thus he rules it out, seeing as to how serotonin syndrome is landing me in the ER every few months.

I'm not sure how this makes sense in ligth of your findings, Glen.I can ask the doc to doble check. Maybe I should do some more research, but I have a freaking migraine as it is now, so not up to looking.

Serotonin syndrome is a problem if you are taking a SSRI with Li. I understood that you are going drug free first so perhaps this wont be a problem.

http://www.mentalhealth.com/drug/p30-l02.html

http://www.bipolarworld.net/Medications/Mo...izers/meds6.htm

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Guest FrannyNZooey

Freesoul, reading through this thread felt like reading through how my body and mind have been reacting to meds and now no meds, except ones for hives, prednisone and benadryl which are making me very emotional the prednisone.

I feel so lost, desperate too.

I am planning on telling Doc i want the lithobid back but with Topomax to help with the migraines and serotoin problems, i am tired of trying adds, and getting no where but sick and hives, asthma attacks etc.

I stopped litobid because of headaches and some weight gain, but later went on Topomax alone which was not enough, so hopefully together.

My plan, my prayer, I hope i know my body well enough now after all this mess. It has been years.

I also have bipolar 1 with mixed and get very agitated it is Hell.

My prayers, thoughts are with you.

Aly

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