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In a state of MDD. In agony. Seeing professor of psychiatry tomorrow. But UK docs do not believe in polypharmacy. Prozac helping cognitive function, but agony is all most too much to bear. Affraid I won't be able to talk to him. Can hardly type.

Risks involved with many drug combos - I have many disorders. Example: Wellbutrin may aggravate tics. But also may help. Lamictal may aggravate tics, but also may help mood swings.

Sick of being my own doctor. Sick of suggesting what drugs I should be on. Sick of life.

Sorry for making no sense, - just in pain.

Lucifer is out to get me.

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hey. I'm listening. <3

if you feel that bad about seeing your doctor, shouldn't you look into the possibility of getting another one? you say "UK docs" implying all of them, but surely there's one or two that would treat your (multiple) symptoms with multiple drugs. sometimes that's the only thing that works.

in any case, good luck. hang in there until tomorrow. take care of yourself.

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Good luck with the doc. Be sure to tell him exactly how bad you feel. Do not sugar coat things. Stay as calm, serious and level headed, but make him understand in no uncertain terms that your condition is unacceptable.

I had to to do this with a couple doctors over other physical problems, and even a couple years later one doctor would comment about it at the start of appointments. ;)

a.m.

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Good luck with the doc. Be sure to tell him exactly how bad you feel. Do not sugar coat things. Stay as calm, serious and level headed, but make him understand in no uncertain terms that your condition is unacceptable.

I had to to do this with a couple doctors over other physical problems, and even a couple years later one doctor would comment about it at the start of appointments. ;)

a.m.

But I'm terrified of being sectioned in hospital.

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It saddens me to hear that you are in so much pain.

Because I can relate to the depths of the misery.

And unfortunately no matter what I say, or anyone says, it doesn't make that pain stop.

BUT, I know this phase will pass. I know it will.

So PLEASE hang in there. Please keep posting and venting and keeping us updated.

I'm worried about you now.

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Saw professor. Was drunk. Why? Mum suggested whiskey to numb the pain. Perfect answer? No. But it helped.

Had to cut the meeting short. Asked him if under any circumstances he would combine wellbutrin with SSRI. He said no. Serotonin syndrome.

UK docs are idiots.

Asked me questions about my childhood. Questions which I could not answer.

Have been diagnosed before. Why again?

It ain't rocket science.

If they won't deal in polypharmacy, give me ECT. At least he said he might do that.

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But if I do get ECT, I worry about the memeory loss. I am a law student, and need my memory.

I would try to find a new doctor before doing that. There are far too many other options out there to explore before going to that resort.

There are also drugs here that either come already mixed or target multiple things...

Symbyax had both Prozac & Zyprexa (a mood stabilizer) & the combo is supposed to make the Prozac more effective and it makes for a potent anti-depressant.

Then there are the mutiple reuptake drugs like Cymbalta and Effexor. The latter actually targets all three chemicals (serotonin, norepinephrine, & dopamine) if you can manage a high enough dose.

So if you can't find a doc who will prescribe more than one med, maybe you could find one to give you one like that.

Oh, and my doc just put me on Wellbutrin. This along with prozac and cymbalta and remeron! Serotonin syndome? HA!

Please at least find a doc who knows that Wellbutrin doesn't affect serotonin.

Please?

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Hi CetKat, I'm feeling better because I've finally convinced my pdoc to prescribe me Wellbutrin with my SSRI. It was tough, but I got there in the end.

By the way, I have been on my fair share of anti-depressants. Some have done well. Duloxetine was great before it stopped working.

So there is a combo out there for me. UK docs are just so unwilling to switch meds and deal in polypharmacy.

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So very sorry, Username. I hear you are in hell. I think compared to you I have only been in Purgatory.

Still unclear about what this agony is like for you. You seem so agitated. The words alathisia comes to mind, also agitated depression, (Almost free-associating..).

So disturbing that the professor of psychiatry no less, wouldn't mix medications. Hard to believe how different standards of practice are between two sister countries.

They are starting that trial of deep brain stimuation in the UK now I think, but by the sounds of it, it targets a different set of symptoms. More the emptiness.

Not the fullness of pain you seem to describe. .

Lucifer is not out to get you. It's a terrible constellation of wholly undeserved misfortunes afflicting you. A brain disease. (In fact, I wonder if they have ruled out a tumor or metabolic problems).

You and your family have done no harm.

Keep telling us about it. I don't know what being "sectioned" is like or why it holds such terrors for you. Tell us about that too, if you can.

There are plenty in the US who would welcome a lengthier hospitalization than our insurance plans permit. But maybe it's the element of force that terrifies you. Do you completely lose decision making power over your treatment if you're confined?

Or is it the staff, the other patients, that are so frightening?

The last time you were in hospital you felt markedly better after only a week or so. Remember? Why wouldn't you feel better again? Did they give you a different medicine?

I can't help wondering why they aren't giving you an AP or AAP. They don't call them Major tranquillizers for nothing.! Can't imagine why your treating doctors don't give you some greater relief. You don't sound depressed so much as agitated out of your mind.

I guess you have asked about an antipsychotic? VE says Seroquel can help with depression too. It's certainly helping my son, and Chimpmaster (while it was his mainstay treatment).

Or could be a different medication would help you find more peace. The calmer you are, the more you can cooperate with your treatment and get relief. If you can describe how you feel - what helps and what doesn't - it will guide them better in medicating you, How terribly ironic that to get powerful enough medications you have to present as if you don't need them. ;) .

I can only send you thoughts of light to counter however trivially, this terrible darkness.

So sorry, friend.

rt

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So very sorry, Username. I hear you are in hell. I think compared to you I have only been in Purgatory.

Still unclear about what this agony is like for you. You seem so agitated. The words alathisia comes to mind, also agitated depression, (Almost free-associating..).

So disturbing that the professor of psychiatry no less, wouldn't mix medications. Hard to believe how different standards of practice are between two sister countries.

They are starting that trial of deep brain stimuation in the UK now I think, but by the sounds of it, it targets a different set of symptoms. More the emptiness.

Not the fullness of pain you seem to describe. .

Lucifer is not out to get you. It's a terrible constellation of wholly undeserved misfortunes afflicting you. A brain disease. (In fact, I wonder if they have ruled out a tumor or metabolic problems).

You and your family have done no harm.

Keep telling us about it. I don't know what being "sectioned" is like or why it holds such terrors for you. Tell us about that too, if you can.

There are plenty in the US who would welcome a lengthier hospitalization than our insurance plans permit. But maybe it's the element of force that terrifies you. Do you completely lose decision making power over your treatment if you're confined?

Or is it the staff, the other patients, that are so frightening?

The last time you were in hospital you felt markedly better after only a week or so. Remember? Why wouldn't you feel better again? Did they give you a different medicine?

I can't help wondering why they aren't giving you an AP or AAP. They don't call them Major tranquillizers for nothing.! Can't imagine why your treating doctors don't give you some greater relief. You don't sound depressed so much as agitated out of your mind.

I guess you have asked about an antipsychotic? VE says Seroquel can help with depression too. It's certainly helping my son, and Chimpmaster (while it was his mainstay treatment).

Or could be a different medication would help you find more peace. The calmer you are, the more you can cooperate with your treatment and get relief. If you can describe how you feel - what helps and what doesn't - it will guide them better in medicating you, How terribly ironic that to get powerful enough medications you have to present as if you don't need them. ;) .

I can only send you thoughts of light to counter however trivially, this terrible darkness.

So sorry, friend.

rt

Thank you for your post.

I am on risperidone - 12mg in fact.

To calm me down, I have tried quetiapine (good but gave me cramps around the eyes), sulpride, chorpromazine and haloperidol. None of them worked too well.

It took hours of persuasion on my part to encourage my consultant to even mix an AD and an AP, but he is finally comming around to the idea.

In hospital, I felt imprisoned. I felt like they were going to keep me there for months, since I am a danger to myself.

Ans what if I had a panic attack? They are only allowed to give me my Xanax/valium in 1/10mg installments every half an hour.

Sorry if I haven't cleared everything up, but that is all I can manage at the moment.

PS: I finally got my consultant to go with the SSRI + Wellbutrin combo.

So I feel uplifted.

Thanks again.

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