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Anxiety-what it is to loose your mind/memory

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I am loosing my fucking mind.

I know I am mot alone , but I have to vent,,, this is going

to drive me to the bottle or just end the whole mess

It isn't that I occassionally will misplace something..

I can loose,, or will put something someplace where I know

it can be found

or just know I have it somewhere..

then can't find it.. not often,, a hella lot.. a hella lot!!!

first frustration, then anger.. then fear.. I am loosing my

mind ..

What can I do .. right every fricking thing down and glue the

book to my chest........???

then after hours of hunting and hunting the same place it

HAS to be.. not finding it

the world starts spinning, I feel nauseus,, I get the chills

and very very afraid...

I walk into walls , drop shit.. and spill anything I try to

drink.. i get the shakes and want to disappear altogether..

Why, isn't it enough being depressed.. now anything i touch

goes to shit..

things,, honestly... no shit.. everything starts to fail..

computers, the microwave has a mind of its own..

ahhhh ,, I have to be really crazy.. this whole life is

a bad dream,


It feels like I am being kept alive as a big joke, so

I can suffer and suffer...

It never lets me go, shit I put a gun to my head and

got a missfire... how lucky can you get.. right??


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You know you're in the right place if you're losing your mind (you're just joining a nice big club here)(just teasing you). You're under a hell of a lot of stress at the moment - don't underestimate its effects. I think you're describing classic panic attacks - they sound very similar to what I experience. I'm not sure exactly what to suggest, other than:

- check with your pdoc if you can adjust your levels of zyprexa and rivotril. How long have you been on them? If they're pooping out on you there are plenty of alternatives you can try. Just one: seroquel is making a major difference to my own cycling - might be worth exploring?

- writing things down. YES! Do it! I can't survive unless I make notes of every conversation I have with people - my own memory's shit and unless I have a record of something I have very little chance of remembering it.

- therapy. Have you started with that group yet? How is it going? If it's not meeting your needs then perhaps it's time to think about some one-on-one sessions with a tdoc. You need to get these things off your chest. That's a "do as I say, not as I do" comment from me - you know I'm in a similar situation and I'm not seeing a tdoc, which I know is bad news. I also feel overwhelmed at the sheer severity of this stuff.

- breathe

- and take care of yourself

- and remember there's always someone around here to offload on


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david, im glad you were able to share with us whats going on with you. and i hope today turns out to be better than expected. i lose stuff ALL the time too so i know how very frustrating it can be. and at times it DOES feel like everything goes wrong all at once. the saying 'when it rains it pours' has validity and it does suck. this is a great community for support so keep posting to us. and hang in there.

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i lose things too. what i try to do is if there is something i know i lose frequently, like my keys or cell phone (vital things!), then i purposely make a mental note of where they are, put them in the same place all the time, and remember things that are around them. i make a mental snap-shot and it seems to work.

oyou're having panic attacks. try to talk to your pdoc about how to reign in that garbage.


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Heya David,

Write everything down. Why not? Get a notepad or stickies (I have stickies all over the house). Who cares? If it helps, do it, noone gets hurt so hey.

I'm chronically clumsy, so to me what you describe is just me, but to someone who's not usually clumsy that would be scary.

I too would look into what kind of support group you can get into (CB is a good support group too, if invisible) b/c for sure you're not the only one.

Med adjustment re. panic attacks might help too.

Hang in there.


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