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First let me say I do have legitimate RX's for all these meds. I am under the the care of a Pdoc. I take effexor zyprexa cloneazepam and seroquel. The last week I have been under a lot of stress for various reasons and have been upping my doses. Due to cutting back my doses in good times I have a fair amount extra meds lying around. What I have been doing is waking up for 2 hours in the morning, then popping 100 - 200mg seroquel and heading right back to bed to sleep the day away and hence, no bad thoughts raining on me. I usually stay in bed till around 3, then I will venture out of my protective space(bedroom) and take 1.5mg cloneazepam to get me through the evening till about 10pm. I've got this pdoc app. thurs. and I have to ask the doc to fill in more insurance forms so that I can stay off work for 2 months longer and collect disability. I'm kinda nervous about this. though I dont really know why, she filled out the previous forms no problem, its just i have to explain to her I'm not ready to go back to work at the end of June. Anyway I know some around here are really against fucking around with meds and I agree with them, its just that warm slipping away from it all feeling seroquel brings when it enters the bloodstream is too much relief for me to pass up on. All replies read with respect.

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Hi. Didn't/couldn't (in a state of MDD) read it all but I see you using your medications to escape pain. So you took some extra Seroquel; big deal.

Maybe your doctor should get off his ass to help you so you don't have to take extra seroquel.

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reco---

Guilty as charged, like you.

But if you check the safety of the meds, IMHO, it's appropriate. As long as it's temporary.

I've confessed to all my docs when I've had to up my dose of trazodone from 150mg to 300mg for sleep during more nervous periods. (Yes, I'm neurotolerant!!) They've just told me it's acceptable (max dose of trazodone is generally around 600mg, though that's for AD and not sleep), and told me to stop once I feel 300mg gives me a hangover (duh!).

I also occasionally upped my Provigil from 200mg to 400mg in the morning (again, neurotolerant... and an adrenaline junkie!). Though that wasn't too kosher with my Baltistan pdoc, who firmly said to avoid it, as apparently even the max narcolepsy dose on the PI sheet was reduced from 400mg to 200mg. So I stopped with the increases. Probably the better thing to do, as my BP has gone sometimes all the way up to 160/100, I'd bet primarily b/c of Cymbalta (it now somehow sank to about 110/70, don't ask how, hehe).

When I was on the Z (HORRENDOUS AKATHISIA, WILL NEVER TAKE AN AP/AAP AGAIN!!!), I once lost sleep, maybe b/c of akathisia, so I went up from 10 to 20, which later the pdoc said was fine, as long as I returned to 10 by the time I got hung over from 20 (duh again!).

self-medicating on his own Rxs

--herrfous

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Anyway I know some around here are really against fucking around with meds and I agree with them, its just that warm slipping away from it all feeling seroquel brings when it enters the bloodstream is too much relief for me to pass up on

I like how you described the feeling you get from seroquel. It sounds really nice and soothing..... ;)

Although I'm against altering medication without pdoc approval, I think if it doesn't mess with your head too much then occasionally it is OK. You have to be really careful though. Don't make it a habit. It's nowhere near on the same scale, but I take two (the maximum) Zopiclone at night if I feel I need it, so I guess I do the same a tiny bit. I don't think you are abusing your meds, just altering them to suit your needs.

Good luck with asking your doc to fill out your insurance forms. I'm sure she will sign them again no problem this time. Just explain it all to her and I'm sure she will happily do it for you. Nerves have a habit of appearing exactly where they are not wanted.

Take care!!

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First let me say I do have legitimate RX's for all these meds. I am under the the care of a Pdoc. I take effexor zyprexa cloneazepam and seroquel. The last week I have been under a lot of stress for various reasons and have been upping my doses. Due to cutting back my doses in good times I have a fair amount extra meds lying around. What I have been doing is waking up for 2 hours in the morning, then popping 100 - 200mg seroquel and heading right back to bed to sleep the day away and hence, no bad thoughts raining on me. I usually stay in bed till around 3, then I will venture out of my protective space(bedroom) and take 1.5mg cloneazepam to get me through the evening till about 10pm. I've got this pdoc app. thurs. and I have to ask the doc to fill in more insurance forms so that I can stay off work for 2 months longer and collect disability. I'm kinda nervous about this. though I dont really know why, she filled out the previous forms no problem, its just i have to explain to her I'm not ready to go back to work at the end of June. Anyway I know some around here are really against fucking around with meds and I agree with them, its just that warm slipping away from it all feeling seroquel brings when it enters the bloodstream is too much relief for me to pass up on. All replies read with respect.

Reco -

Yes, you are abusing your meds. And no - I must disagree with the other posters so far - it is not OK, especially if you are doing so without informing your pdoc. If you go do a pdoc and then deliberately ignore the pdoc's advice and prescribing regime, then you cannot say you are under the pdoc's care, except that you have someone on tap to pick up the fragments when you eventually seriously mess yourself up. Taking medications to render yourself unconscious is not dealing with your issues. These medications are intended to treat your condition so that you can lead a more normal life, not sedate you away from it. Cutting back your prescribed dose during "good times" is a fairly common mistake, because hey, you feel better, right? So no need for meds, right? The problem is, your pdoc is attempting to get the meds in your system to a sustained level where they work, no less and no more. Less, and it won't work; more, and you get unnecessary side effects. So basically, if your meds make it possible for you to enjoy some relief, it's like saying: "Hey, it works! Now let's stop taking it!" If you don't come clean about it with your pdoc, then she's going to look at her chart of your treatment and wonder why things aren't working, and your treatment (and suffering) will be needlessly prolonged. If you trust your pdoc enough to pay for her services, then trust her enough to follow her instructions. It can only help you.

Cerberus

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Well, I'm in the middle. I don't think you're "abusing" your meds, but I DO think you should come clean with the pdoc. Self-medication is a sign that something's not working. Feeling as though you're not ready to go back to work at the end of June is another sign that something's not working. How about, instead of trying to fix it yourself and getting all messed up and drug-addled, you mention it to the pdoc? He/she might have an idea about how to help. As Cerberus said, it's never a good idea to cut back or increase your doses without talking to the doctor. Really. It sort of defeats the whole purpose. Si, if you need to knock yourself out, go ahead. But be sure to tell the pdoc exactly what you've been doing when you see him (or her) tomorrow.

Millie

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I confess I've changed my doses depending on how I feel at any given time, and am honest with my pdoc about it, and get lectured about it.

However, you should talk to your pdoc about what symptoms you get and when, and s/he can alter your meds/med schedule to help with your patterns.

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But be sure to tell the pdoc exactly what you've been doing when you see him (or her) tomorrow.

I know I'm not the point of this topic, but I wasn't sure if what I said was misinterpreted, even though I'm not important. But yeah, anyway, I agree with this completely. Tell her ASAP reco. Occasionally doing it is OK, in my opinion, but only occasionally and not without telling your pdoc.

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I admit to using my medications inappropriately---for example, using Xanax for sleep on top of traz after a particularly trying day. Also, a few weeks before I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation in December, I spent a Sunday sucking down hydrocodone cough syrup and alternating it with tramadol to keep myself sedated. I knew I was in trouble at that point, and "confessed" to my pdoc. When I told him he said nothing, which was a relief to me because I was worried about getting lectured.

Up until then, my diagnosis was adjustment disorder only---then kind of quickly changed to MDD.

My opinion is that your doctor needs to know what you're doing to effectively treat you. He or she needs to know how bad (or good) you're feeling because they can't read your mind.

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Anyway I know some around here are really against fucking around with meds and I agree with them, its just that warm slipping away from it all feeling seroquel brings when it enters the bloodstream is too much relief for me to pass up on.

i think this indicates that you know the answer to your question.

no medication is there to, or should be there to help you avoid life. they're there to help you deal with life. if a medication becomes a prop that enables a person's maladaptive coping skills then, yes, i do think it is abuse.

please talk to your pdoc about this. you can get a combo that works and helps you leave the house and not sleep all day. but you have to be honest with yourself and your doctor. and you have to take your meds as directed and not hoard and binge.

i hope you talk to your doctor. i think it's good that you asked this question, and that in asking you asked yourself. please listen to that little voice inside you that knows this isn't how things should be.

take care,

penny

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I'm not sure I have the whole picture, but....

- If I understand correctly, you probably aren't technically abusing the meds...

- If you are being absolutely honest with your Pdoc, and he approves...

However,

from and emotional perspective I think you are using the meds to avoid life, and avoid doing the things that it takes to control and begin to relieve your depression. I understand fully how hard it can be to even get out of bed in the depths of depression. But be sure that you aren't allowing that to become the norm.

This should be a matter of equal importance for discussion with your pdoc. Meds alone do not provide the best or fastest improvement. If you don't have a therapist, I suggest you need to discuss with your pdoc getting one.

a.m.

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I'm in agreement with AirMarshall.

As long as you do your homework to make sure your drugs at that level won't harm you (but you're pretty much safe with the anxiety meds), and you tell your pdoc at your next visit. From the way it sounds, you haven't changed the overall medication regimen.. just up'd it a bit.

It's only when you ignore your doc's method of treatment & self-prescribe that you cross the line.

You're going through a rough patch, so it's only natural that you need more help... whether that be different meds or therapy or both. But that's for you and your pdoc to decide.

Yeah, you're avoiding your problems.. but sometimes that's just what you gotta do.

At least you're dealing with it in a positive way. You can't be hurt by too much sleep. ;)

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I can definitely see it from both perspectives. Having adjusted my meds in much the same manner myself in the past with both Seroquel and Xanax, it was a decision that worked out fine for me. It was a temporary increase in between pdoc appointments and I didn't want to pay extra to see him sooner. (Damn deductibles.)

I neither condone or condemn my decison (or yours) but I think as a short term alteration it should be fine as long as you come clean with your pdoc at your next available appointment.

Look at it this way, if you had gone to ask for a temporary increase that you really needed you probably would have gotten it, right? So that's where I was coming from when I did it myself. And my pdoc was totally okay with it. Whether yours is as laid back with you taking the wheel is another story. Good luck.

Tara

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