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ack! now im going up, too!


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its been building for a few days and now im just racing! my heart is flying, at least it feels like it is and i cant seem to do anything cuz im jumping from thing to thing and cant stay focused.

ive got a pdoc appt tomorrow and im afraid he'll take my wellbutrin away from me if i tell him but i think im gonna downplay it somewhat and just ask if we can up the lithium. my blood level was only .35 so ive got room to go up there. but i love the wellbutrin. i havent felt so uncrazy in so long and until i got all racy, i felt 'normal' and couldnt even tell i was taking drugs to feel that way.

anyway, im trying deep breathing to calm myself down cuz bedtime is fast approaching and i dont think i'll be able to sleep for a whiiiiiile.

its been a long day though. i went out to buy myself a new bathing suit and ended up buying the entire family new suits. they didnt need them but they were new and shiny! thats not too hypo is it???

ack! ok, more deep breathing..... i just need to CALM DOWN!!!!!

calmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdown

calmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdown

calmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdown

calmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdown

calmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdown

calmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdown

calmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdown

calmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdown

calmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdown

breath*breath*breath*breath*breath*breath*breath*breath*breath*breath*breath*bre

th*

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well, i feel a little calmer today but thats cuz i have a benadryl hangover! my heart is still racy but because of the benadryl last night, im groggy at the same time. i leave to see my pdoc is about 15 minutes and i guess i'll tell him most of whats going on and ask (beg) him to not take away the wellbutrin. to me, the raciness doesnt feel like its wellbutrin induced but more like i always felt before the deep depression and any meds. the wellbutrin pulled me out of the abyss i was in so i dont want to lose that. i just need to get rid of the opposite crap that ive always dealt with. wish me luck...

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back from the pdoc. told him whats been going on. escalating the last few days. taking longer to sleep at night. racing thoughts. he upped the lithium to 900mg/day. he said to keep on with the wellbutrin. i didnt even have to suggest it. he just did what i hoped he'd do without me suggesting a thing.

kind of in a pissy-want to punch someone in the face-kind of mood so im gonna go try to calm the F down before i explode. maybe its all part of the benadryl grogginess from last night. maybe its realated to the escalation of the last few days. maybe im just a bitch. whatever. thanks for reading. blah.

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thanks for responding, unregistered. LOVE your avatar! sorry youre riding the expess, too. i hope it stops on a good floor for you! ive lost my bitchy edge but still feel like im about to blow whacko at any moment. everything feels triggery. blech. anyway, thanks again for responding.

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Took some amitriptyline (from my secret hoard) last night and finally got some sleep (till a power cut, and all hell letting loose at 3am when the power came back on), so the elevator has slowed at least temporarily. Stay safe.

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Hey- my former pdoc took away my wellbutrin while raising my lamictal and I ended up inpatient with deep depression. Good to know your pdoc raised your lithium before taking wellbutrin away. Hopefully that'll do the trick.

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unregistered: im glad you were able to get some sleep even if till you power issues. and im also glad your elevator has slowed. you stay safe as well.

thanks for the reply scatty. im hoping that raising the lithium does the trick, too and that i'll be able to keep the wellbutrin.

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