stable not balanced Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Hello. I guess I am on the elevator going down. i feel so fat and ugly and stupid compared to the rest of the world. i have some great qualities, but it is these that i focus on. watching people function normally, meaning, able to do what needs to be done. this even means people who are less fortunate, yet they can work two jobs, support a family and have outside interests. i know these normal people have problems, too, but it is the ones who can just keep on existing, moving about this world with ease. i see it everyday and it is driving me nuts! i don't know anything. i don't remember things. details go in one ear and out the other. i cannot hold a decent conversation about anything but my problems and love and compassion and what i think is wrong with the world. which is fine, i guess, but i don't have any one subject that i know oodles about. well, maybe those things, but i cannot support with facts and it is such a small amount. i have had low self-esteem since i was a kid. picked on all the time. i have forgiven them because i know that they are a product of a society that does not emphasize respect and tolerance. the low self-esteem sticks with you for a long time. i am stable on drugs. I guess i just don't know what to do from here. i have so much i want to accomplish, but no drive. doing anything other than watch tv has not been a part of my life. just feeling lost and inadequate right now. waiting for wellbutrin to kick in to complement my lexapro. most of the time i am pretty even tempered. happy. haven't felt that way. i am also impatient. hard to sit still. i have been eating fast food out the wahoo. the world moves too fast. i am left behind. there is so much information out there. i am overwhelmed by it. ok, thanks for listening. oh, and i am not so down to remember that i have come a long way and that this is just a bump in the road. could be a lot worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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