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so why DO (some) people want to be bipolar?


Guest FrannyNZooey

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Guest FrannyNZooey

I wasn't comparing the effects of the two, except maybe the effect on your life.

Nevermind.

Effect on my life? Now that just so totally Blows me away I can not even respond.

You got me speechless.

Aly

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Guest FrannyNZooey

An 'Unquiet Mind", put shivers down my spine. I read it in one sitting and felt finally someone understands.

Aly

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Guest FrannyNZooey

Hey, like I said, I don't mean to offend. It's just that I spent so long fighting on my own without knowing how to ask for the right kind of help, and I guess some of the issues that arose from that are still pretty raw. Possibly I project them onto other people..... sorry......

And Aly, you and me both!

I agree AW, and hell anyone wanting to be bipolar how the hell you going to find out why they want that noemie?

I think you are just stepping on the truly bipolar toes. And comments on here such as taking cocaine and getting same effect as mania is truly so fucked!

And thinking that would be same effect on Life?

Sorry to fuck up your wanting to find out, but you really think just wannabes are going to come out and play this game?

Aly

as someone who, years ago, took massive amounts of cocaine for quite some time i can assure you that it can mess up your life just as badly as bp as VE was trying to communicate. its not the SAME life mess up as BP but it can/does mess up your life just as badly none-the-less. and to say that it doesnt or isnt as bad - well, i find that offensive and it leaves me speechless.

You kind of had a choice.

Or should we argue all of that?

I can see I am putting myself out, and going to be popular, but hell let set it straight, did I snort, go buy bipolar?

I know call me asshole bitch, but honestly, let set the record straight.

I was not out partying, I was teen at home when this shit offset.

Just trying to study, live, get through HS, life.

Not going hey can I get high.

I was like what the fuck is going on with me.

Same, huh?

Aly

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Hey gang,

Lets not get into personal assaults here about "my cocaine habit was worse than your improperly diagnosed bipolar depression was worse than your childhood".

The topic was dealing with people who think it's fashionable to be Bipolar.

My perspective? I know I'm getting older than dirt, comparatively, but I can't imagine anyone legitimately wanting to be Bipolar, any more than wanting to have liver cancer. Isn't anyone you've seen expressing this really just immature, childish and not a well formed adult?

a.m.

Ha, a.m.

I would have to say that I haven't met nor known of anyone ever who wanted to be bipolar other than me. Because it finally all made sense. Anyone who knows me cringes at the thought of being bipolar. Or like me in any way whatsoever. ;)

Yeah, anyway, I guess I missed the point so I will step away from the thread.

Sam

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Guest FrannyNZooey

I think it is the fact being bipolar 1 living through the hell of such, has me wondering how anyone would ever want to be such a horrid thing.

It is such as being told you have liver cancer, as AM said.

And, I think most of us have experimented with certain street drugs before our dx, to find some relief or even to explain our high, our behavior.

And no it was never, never even close to the same. From experience not just talk, and yes enough experience.

Enough to not be proud of, and enough to even warrant at one time reason to worry if a problem.

But, hell nothing is a problem when your mind is the problem.

You can't detox that.

Seriously I do want to know why would anyone want to be bipolar?

Is it just bipolar II, of course never bipolar 1 .

I would guess it would be that your depression would be taken more seriously you feel by all.

I hope you know all that truly matters is how you feel, and that you do get help for it.

God, that is all I ever wanted.

Sorry for the very tainted feelings here about certain things.

Living with bipolar 1 does suck.

If want to understand it, read, "unquiet Mind", no need to take Coke. It does no justice, only damage.

Aly

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I agree AW, and hell anyone wanting to be bipolar how the hell you going to find out why they want that noemie?

Hi Aly,

what did I do to piss you off? I can think of many ways to find out why a given person, or set of people, would want to be bipolar, but I'm more interested in understanding why I offended you.

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Guest FrannyNZooey

Yeah, that's exactly what I was trying to do. Plus possibly hold a mirror up for some lurkers. Although I think mostly what I have done is open a venue for people to complain about people who don't understand what bipolar is really like, and to describe how bad it really is. That's understandable, given how frustrated people are about it (both the people and the bipolar). But I think the original topic is still worth a shot.

I'm also wondering if maybe we could move the substance abuse and bipolar to its own thread.

Noemie,

No need to move my posts, my last post saying I want to know too was suppose to be my last.

But, please move along with all others so related if found distracting.

Good luck on Topic. I look forward to replies to the real subject intended.

Aly

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Guest FrannyNZooey

i'm going to defend noemie and hard-core addicts--oh, and btw, around 60% of bipolars have or had substance abuse problems (correct me people if i'm a bit off).

noemie defense:

obviously, this is CB. she doesn't expect wannabe-normals to come out of the woodwork and confess or otherwise comment here--cuz they ain't here. i think she's just getting a conversation going. perhaps hoping we can talk about how education will help them and help us. they get the real help they need. we get relief from misunderstanding/stigma.

addiction defense:

what do addicts and bipolars have in common in bringing their disease upon themselves? they were coping. according to the reigning theory, bipolar is something you can develop--but you don't have to. Bipolar results from the interaction between environment and genetic disposition. not everyone with bipolar has it in their family. addiction has also been shown to have a genetic factor.

So, ask yourself, when those first few life stressors hit you, what did you do? did you get emotional? you failed to immediately do some zen meditation? don't tell me you had an extra piece of chocolate or said "fuck it, i'm going to yell at someone, do something risky or self-damaging or exciting--to deal". well guess what, you may have started giving yourself bipolar. Are you sure you want to play the blame game?

now let's look at effects on your life:

bipolars: suicide attempts are around 30%

heroin addicts never recover 70% of the time. these usually die from suicide, overdose, etc.

Addiction and Bipolar are both deadly serious. And they are both stigmatized.

7

I just read in all your rant, gave yourself bipolar? You are fuckin joking right?

Please tell me so since I lost 2 uncles at very young age to suicide from such.

And it has strongly impacted my family more so than alcoholism or any fuckin drug could ever.

This is unreal, you are talking about a chemical brain defect. That comes upon children, but very much teens and suicide very high.

I really am done here today, this is totally fucked up, and I am sorry for the addicts, but this is a bunch of wholly fuckin shit.

We are talking mind, brain, biggest organ of the body.

Do you go to a pdoc, tdoc?

Do you read?

Or do you just get your info from local.....

So, if you have a child and they have bipolar they are same as if at crack house? Shooting junk in their veins?

OK jump on my middle class white ass but this is bullshit!

I am sick of comparing mental illness to what people choose.

And hell more spent on addiction!

And less stigma, actually cool, like hey I went to rehab, not hey I was locked up in nuthouse.

I am high and hot now, no more puter time tonight.

This is bipolar people, no drugs needed!!!

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I just read in all your rant, gave yourself bipolar? You are fuckin joking right?
i said "may have" you said addicts did it to themselves. i am throwing your own argument back in your face.

Please tell me so since I lost 2 uncles at very young age to suicide from such.
i've lost addicts. Don't take the name of your uncles in vain to justify your own opinions and self-righteousness

And it has strongly impacted my family more so than alcoholism or any fuckin drug could ever.
like i said..."combo of genetics and environment"--bipolars can be difficult to live with.

This is unreal, you are talking about a chemical brain defect. That comes upon children, but very much teens and suicide very high.
switching up your story? Most bipolar happens in early 20s. child bipolar is a different type that i'm not touching.

We are talking mind, brain, biggest organ of the body.

the biggest organ is the skin

Do you go to a pdoc, tdoc?

Do you read?

Ask your pdoc, tdoc, any professional/researcher. Look it up. Ask about the diathesis-stress model. That's how they think bipolar happens.

So, if you have a child and they have bipolar they are same as if at crack house? Shooting junk in their veins?
stop hiding behind children. we're talking about average bipolar--the kind that happens when you keep reacting to stress.

I am sick of comparing mental illness to what people choose.
that's what's ignorant and offensive. Addiction IS a Mental Illness. Look up AXIS I in the DSM IV. Addicts have no choice by definition.

Franny, this is NOT a contest. Both bipolar and true addiction have high mortality rates and bring incredible suffering. And even if they didn't, you have no right to put someone else's pain and suicidality down as pathetic, weak or self-inflicted. No right to say you have it worse. No right to think you can compare.

7

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Guest FrannyNZooey

might it be time to discuss sociopathic?

So want to discuss yourself and pm's to me?

and post on my threads?

Where is your thread? Who the fuck are you?

And yes 7 I know skin is biggest organ thought that as typing, but thinking brain here.

I am so tired of the whole Coke thing thrown in to begin with by VE, and this whole debate.

I Have too much real shit to deal with, I just had to go out saying I felt it was really wreckless for anyone in anyway in charge of this board to make light of using drugs to break up the hum drums of depression.

I find it so morally wrong I can no longer be part of this board, so please remove all of my posts immediately.

FrannyNZooey no longer exists, so Sylvia you can no longer stalk me, go find someone else to prey on.

Those that do know me, you know where to find me, and I will be in touch.

Crazyboards does become a crutch from just doing it, living!

Aly

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Aly-

I just had to go out saying I felt it was really wreckless for anyone in anyway in charge of this board to make light of using drugs to break up the hum drums of depression.
I didn't get that impression from the post. Maybe this is more a personal issue for some people, which is really the impression that I got.

I find it so morally wrong I can no longer be part of this board, so please remove all of my posts immediately.
If that was enough to make you leave, I believe you have probably been thinking about it for awhile.

We don't do mass deletion. We have made that clear.

If you had/have issues with harrassment it should have been brought up with people who run the board and we may have been able to do something about it. You can pm any of the mods or admins if you want to discuss any of these things. You can always do that.

~navy~

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Thanks Navy.

To the rest of us, Aly has started her own thread about wanting to have her posts deleted, and I would like it if further posts about Aly or about the "substance abuse vs. bipolar" thing could take place in that thread, not this one.

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Guest FrannyNZooey

Aly-

I didn't get that impression from the post. Maybe this is more a personal issue for some people, which is really the impression that I got.

If that was enough to make you leave, I believe you have probably been thinking about it for awhile.

We don't do mass deletion. We have made that clear.

If you had/have issues with harrassment it should have been brought up with people who run the board and we may have been able to do something about it. You can pm any of the mods or admins if you want to discuss any of these things. You can always do that.

~navy~

I would like to leave and have my thread deleted. I do go down once again saying that to say to take street drugs is dangerous in a forum such as this, or any.

Thank you for complying to my wishes of deleting thread, and yes I should have told of such pm's from such person. She really does just rear her head with smartass comments when one is their lowest. Whether by posting then deleting, or pming. But, that is all pass me now.

Aly

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Guest FrannyNZooey

Aly:

I've committed felonies to support an addiction and then ended up suicidal with guilt.

Is it somthing that you're on that makes you this confused or do you need to be on somthing that you're not to make you less confused? Regardless, you need to show some of your threads here to your pdoc. You're on another planet.

One more time, to bringing it all back home:

I'll try and say some more about what I said that started this whole mess so maybe lightningbolts won't come out of noemie's eyes when she sees another post about this.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to be manic, just to lose control for a while. It's not about escaping responsibilty for actions in the sense of conventional morality or laws. It's the desire to surrender free will. There are greater issues of existential responsibility at play here. I then remember what it's like to lose control, my experience there being coke and crack binges. I guess control isn't so bad, particularly since existential responsibility seems to doggedly hang on regardless of the status of free will.

For more than this I'll have to take some meds.

This is so out of line and from a person in charge of this board? You are personally attacking me after the fact, after I left, closed my thread, you are a giant A-Hole! If no one else can see that here, I am really sorry, and worried about all of you.

But, truly enough is enough, so with that;

VE, I applaud you for your support to the MI. And all your past endeavours in life, maybe you should go back to them.

You can tell it is truly your life calling.

I mean I for one feel all the warm and fuzzies, the knowledge, support.

Like a dagger in the back!

You could at least given me the decency to talk behind my back, as you do for most.

I shall print this out. Thank you for reminder, I am sure pdoc would enjoy all this conversation on bipolar and drugs, and your support along the way. I am sure many of the medical community would be interested in your advice, and such posts as this, to MI patients.

As to what a wonderful site of support for those in need, and those whom may be suicidal. You are so SUPPORTIVE! So understanding of Bipolar, you think MANIA is a coke high!

I can see freedom of speech lives openly here, as long as we all stay on the Great VE topic, and only he may wander off.

And of course do not forget those key words for google for "we" shall be gone by December!

God Bless You All

Aly

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Guest Gimme a Break

This is so out of line and from a person in charge of this board? You are personally attacking me after the fact, after I left, closed my thread, you are a giant A-Hole! If no one else can see that here, I am really sorry, and worried about all of you.

But, truly enough is enough, so with that;

VE, I applaud you for your support to the MI. And all your past endeavours in life, maybe you should go back to them.

You can tell it is truly your life calling.

I mean I for one feel all the warm and fuzzies, the knowledge, support.

Like a dagger in the back!

You could at least given me the decency to talk behind my back, as you do for most.

I shall print this out. Thank you for reminder, I am sure pdoc would enjoy all this conversation on bipolar and drugs, and your support along the way. I am sure many of the medical community would be interested in your advice, and such posts as this, to MI patients.

As to what a wonderful site of support for those in need, and those whom may be suicidal. You are so SUPPORTIVE! So understanding of Bipolar, you think MANIA is a coke high!

I can see freedom of speech lives openly here, as long as we all stay on the Great VE topic, and only he may wander off.

And of course do not forget those key words for google for "we" shall be gone by December!

God Bless You All

Aly

Can't you just leave already?

Yeah, inappropriate I know. Couldn't help myself. Kinda cool being incognito on my son's signon.

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Guest FrannyNZooey

Can't you just leave already?

Yeah, inappropriate I know. Couldn't help myself. Kinda cool being incognito on my son's signon.

I was gone, but you kind of bring me back.

And to the;

Cool or Coward?

And I have never been so quoted before.

Think maybe you all are keeping it going?

Just a thought.

Let see if we can play the not quote me game, come on let see who can win.

PS Just edited to note time of my last post and one telling me to be gone already, quite a time difference, maybe you just wanted to get in on the action, but with being cool, huh, no name?

Please just no more using my name.

No more Quoting me, and promise I am gone on this thread, if you just let me be gone.

Sad I really thought all topics were more about the people, than about the topic.

I really thought we were a community here for us, not for Google.

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Guest Non BP weighing in

I read this thread because Aly is my friend and I wanted to see why she was so angry. I get it.

This thread is ridiculous. noemie - you spent a lot of time dishing out your experiences, but at the end of the day - none of it is based in reality for anyone but you.

All people who are MI are on a journey or sorts. One that starts with diagnosis and continues through the stages to acceptance. Bipolar people are no different than any one else who suffers from something that requires medication. Period. No more reckless, no more creative, nor more depressed, and no more intelligent.

I don't get the whole point of the thread, but I do understand where Aly is coming from. She has had a life-long struggle with the disease too. She appears to be insensed at some of your comments.

Not signing in for this fight discussion. Don't wanna get splattered with paint!

N-BP

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Hi.

The entire issue of BP misdiagnosis, overdiagnosis, and popularity as a diagnosis does not center around you, Aly, although you did take offense in a grandiose way.

To address the issue that offended:

Like illegal drugs, Bipolar Fucks Up Our Lives. The consequences of both can leave us socially and financially and legally in ruins.

For some reason, you have chosen to be entirely offended by this idea. It isn't a new one, not by a long shot.

And there is no "how dare you compare me" around here because we are all a little messed up and can often identify with eachother in some way.

You are welcome to stay here. Or welcome to leave.

But stop with the dramatic "I'm leaving but just let me say this one last point again and again because you are a bunch of immoral bastards even though I have been here to get moral support for the last several months and my distaste for your moral principles never seemed to be an issue before."

It seems that it is only when your actions and behaviors are compared to *GASP* drug users that you are offended, must take a moral stand, put others in their place, and make a dramatic exit.

You didn't leave. Which was pretty clear because your username has been on and off at the bottom of the board under active users.

So it isn't really out of line to respond.

You could at least given me the decency to talk behind my back, as you do for most.
Is that really what you want?

I would rather say this here, where it is applicable.

So understanding of Bipolar, you think MANIA is a coke high!

You are seeing what you wish. And it sucks. I think there are a lot of times that you are defensive about things and so see things as an attack or people as taking a position that they really aren't.

And whether you 'leave' or not, which I am not sure is going to happen anytime in the next few days, I will respond to things as I wish.

Either way, you have to realize not everything is a personal attack and your interpretations are not always correct- you made a decision and weren't open to anything else.

By the way:

Bipolar people are no different than any one else who suffers from something that requires medication. Period. No more reckless, no more creative, nor more depressed, and no more intelligent.

...I don't get the whole point of the thread...

This made me pissy.

ATTENTION: This Is The Bipolar Board.

I am not certain of the point of your comment, but the point of the thread might be to examine our illness and the increase in popularity as a diagnoses.

I AM SO SPECIAL. EVERYONE WANTS TO BE LIKE ME.

No. I don't think it's a personal issue.

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As to what a wonderful site of support for those in need, and those whom may be suicidal. You are so SUPPORTIVE! So understanding of Bipolar, you think MANIA is a coke high!

I never said anything of the sort. I explained what I did say not one time, not two times but three times. For me to inquire as to the cause of your obvious cognitive impairment is not a personal attack. It's an attempt to understand why you have such a hard time grasping simple concepts when they are repeated to you many times. Maybe you don't realize the degree of your own confusion? Is it flat out denial?

I can see freedom of speech lives openly here, as long as we all stay on the Great VE topic, and only he may wander off.

You can say whatever you like in threads that you create. Trying to make threads on other topics be all about you when they are not is bratty and rude.

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