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I'm having a tough time. I'm trying to challenge my thoughts, but I come up with other bizarre theories. They aren't novel which make them even more believable to me.

I thought my pdoc and husband were in cahoots with my old pdoc, tdoc, father, high school friends. That they've been watching and filming me. That people were sending coded messages.

Now, I think my pdoc is helping me because I'm getting better. I'm torn between believing that he is in on a plan, or that it's just co-incidences I've noticed and there is no plan.

But, now I have a third theory that my old tdoc has a system that sends soundwaves by people's ears that influence what they say. I'm still not sure how it would work because some of the signals from my husband and kids were physical as well, but it would explain the verbal codes.

I see my pdoc on the 15th. I don't think my meds need changed (I take abilify, seroquel, lamictal and lexapro) and I'll try to distract myself until then. I called some family members yesterday and talked. I'm trying to distract myself by posting, watching TV and reading. My daughter is sick and staying home today.

My tdoc says delusions go away slowly. Do they go away or do you always have doubts?

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Hi Confused

It certainly sounds like you are going through a rough time with the old delusions. For the record, I have suffered from very similar p-doc centred delusions, you sound happy enough with your cocktail so hopefully they will fade over time, I know what you mean about being torn between half believing the p-doc is in on it and half believing he wants to help you. I feel the same way about my p-doc and I keep noticing coincidences and signs that tell me this. At the same time, I know its all nonsense but the thoughts keep occuring and intruding.

I guess time is the only healer for this kind of thing. And once you are on a good cocktail that works for you, the delusions slowly go away.

Blackbird xx

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hi confused,

sorry to hear you are suffering so.

I've had some very similar delusions to you. Believing my pdocs are in on the concpiracy to poison me and mislead me and have me someday captured.

The best thing that has helped me with delusions is Medication, Keeping stress as low as I can, getting lots of sleep--10+ hours a day (for some reason, the more sleep i get, the less psychotic symptoms i have)

As for delusions going away slowly on there own with no medication, i don't know. I'm sure they can and do for some people. How long have you been on the meds? When i started antipsychotics, the voices went away almost completly within 4 or 5 days, but the delusions took longer, and even though i'm no longer delusional, I still sometimes get to thinking that maybe they were real, but at least i don't focus on them so much and feel scared and angry and confused from them like i use to. I think once a person has been delusional, they'll always occasionally get those thoughts in the back of there head about the delusions they've had.

I hope things get better for you soon. It may just be that your meds need more time to fully kick in. I've heard that some people don't get the full effects until 6 months to a year after starting meds. Good luck.

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