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I thought this would be a funny one- kind of like a Scientology topic or something.

All of us have family and friends around who think that if we try harder, get some weird herbal remedy they saw on TV, jog more, or get a pet rat that we'll suddenly snap out of the never-ending train wreck of BP and be cured forever.

What are some of the best you've heard that make you laugh the hardest?

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Let' see..for me...

Mom (BP1 in denial)- y ou should see an herbalist and she can give you St. John's Wort (mild MAOI)

Cousin (also BP in denial)- you should just vent more and understand we're all like this (yeah, she's batshit)

Former Boyfriend- you're not MI, you just need to focus more on school (I have ADD Inattentive so this was kinda tough to do. But I did graduate wtih honors).

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Give me your best war stories! lol

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drunk neighbor: "hey maayhun come smoke this here joint and get yerself out of the house."

and an hour later "hey maayhun we're smokin the roach why don't you get yer ass over here and smoke some. you know you needs it."

an hour later "hey maayhun, we're a rolling a'nother 'un."

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"You need to get some sun!" Please stop telling me this! Besides, two of the drugs I take cause increased photosensitivity and I don't like being in the sun. I don't have SAD. I like the dark.

(Sorry Loon, I'm not stalking you, just replying to topics of yours.)

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People are better now, but when I was younger kids would always say, "What's wrong?" when I looked sad. I'd tell them I was depressed, and they'd try to make me feel better my telling me about someone who has it worse. Eh, they meant well, I guess. Idiots.

I still get people who try to tell me it's all in my head, and if I just ~try~ hard enough I can be happy. Those are the people I want to attack and kill. Why would I choose to suffer from bottomless black depressions?

One dude was emailing me links to his weird religion, these 25 minute promotional movies with shots of sunsets on the water and Asian people exercising, with the voice-over of a British woman who was incredibly vague and monotonous. In his emails he would try to tell me there was no such thing as "Bipolar Disorder". (Yes, he used quotes every time he mentioned it. SO ignorant.)

And then there are the people who, when I tell them I'm Bipolar, decide that they are, also. WTF???

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"You need to get some sun!" Please stop telling me this! Besides, two of the drugs I take cause increased photosensitivity and I don't like being in the sun. I don't have SAD. I like the dark.

(Sorry Loon, I'm not stalking you, just replying to topics of yours.)

YES, I've heard this, too... to the extent that when I was in the hospital, my neighbor took it upon herself to remove all my hurricane shutters.

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I have several but my absolute favorite, told to me in a very stern manner--

"You must start exercising at least 30 minutes a day." Thats great doc, how doyou suggest I get out of bed when I am so depressed I don't even wash my face? How stupid is that?

My other favorite--only heard this once--about my son, but might as well have been about me--"Well, I can't understand why he's so moody all the time. No body else in our family acts like that. You are just spoiling him." (the child was threatening suicide--wiuth a plan--at the time)

Love, china, who, BTW, has LOTS of mentally interesting people all over our family, they just drank a lot and nobody said much in the "old days"

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Mine are:

Suck it up-your elders survived so will you

Get a hobby and stop thinking about it so much

leave those drugs alone-they're probably the whole problem

Go back to church God will help you

Those therapists don't know you better than your own family-leave them alone ;)

assmunches

lilie

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"Pull yourself up by the bootstraps."

"You catch more flies with honey than vinegar."

"Think positive."

"Look at the bright side."

"You have nothing to feel bad about. I felt bad because I had no shoes, until I saw a man with no feet."

and worst of all............"SMILE! It can't be THAT bad!"

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oh good lord, "smile, it can't be that bad", that makes me want to slit some throats

but yeah, i always get "whats wrong???, you have no reason to frown.."

or "gimme a smile"

or "there's always a reason to smile"

makes me want to judo chop their fuckin head off

then i have to explain to people that, yes, my face just looks like this. i don't look friendly. small children are scared of me. now leave me the hell alone....

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People are still saying shit like "hang in there" in this day in age ;)

I'm "guilty" of this one. Creativity doesn't come easily but I like people to know I'm there for them just the same. At least I know who not to say it to now lol

I think my all time favorite is when I called my mother crying from the psych ward the night I was admitted and she told me I'd abandoned my kids (who were being cared for by their father, the nerve of me!) and "running off to take a vacation."

Yeah, some vacation. I didn't even get the free notepad and (felt tip?) pen.

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People are still saying shit like "hang in there" in this day in age ;)

I'm "guilty" of this one. Creativity doesn't come easily but I like people to know I'm there for them just the same. At least I know who not to say it to now lol

yes, and there's something about saying 'hang in there' to someone who experiences depression....

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"We all get {} sometimes" [Fill in {} with whatever excrutiating mood you're in with a normal person's understanding of it: mixed = upset; hypomanic/wired = energetic; depressed as dirt = sad]

"You just can't let this get you down" [Parents not wanting to accept that this is an illness]

"Maybe you need to get some hobbies to take your mind off of things." [Assumes that the mind's accessible at all... and that I can actually leave my house without exerting every bit of energy just to hold myself together and not freak out screaming gibberish before curling into a ball.]

"Have you tried {}?" [Fill in {} with whatever the latest mental wellness trend Newsweek's caught on to]

And my favorite, particularly after a three year semi-successful med search, is when they basically think I can just go on "a medication" and be fine. [in their minds there's only one or two, which always work. *snort*]

The hardest things about this is the friendships that have suffered; only one of my friends is MI, and only a few others are truly empathic (a rare trait for non MI people). Given the befuddled, platitudinous and sometimes quick-fix responses, it's hard to talk about, even though it's been this major factor in my life. This isn't to say that my friends just bailed. But given BP as this overarching struggle for me, some friendships feel a little more superficial than they used to.

Heh, I wonder what my friends with kids would do if I responded in kind when they start talking about their children. E.g., child's first steps ("Every kid does that at some point").

Jadedly,

cache-monkey

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"of course youre BP. youre a mother and all mothers are BP to some extent."

"if you keep reading all those books, of course youre gonna end up crazy."

(in reference to a few BP books i read after i was dx'd)

"you need to get out in the sun"

"you need to go for a walk and get some exercise."

i'm sure i'll think of more but thats all i can get off the top of my head for now.

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"You need to smile, you'll feel better". I pretty much want to go psychotic on this one. I'm already told (grew up being told) that I have a go-to-hell natural look on my face, so being told all the time to smile is particularly infuriating.

Oh, and "eating right, exercise and relaxation". Yeah, I just slept for 16 straight hours, I'm sure relaxation would help...

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