Loon-A-TiK Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Here's a place for the lovely social side of being BP. This will explain to the 'wannabe' crowd exactly what is VERY, VERY socially bad about BP: 1. it just sucks to feel like this. Suicidality, manic unreasonable elation... 2. Side effects in your life: Ruined credit, getting fired/getting new jobs constantly, going through boyfriends/girlfriends like crazy, hard time maintaining meaningful relationships, hard time getting out of bed or going to bed in some cases, potential to abuse our Klonopin or self-medicate.. The list goes on! Let's add to it. What sucks donkey dong about BP? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lemonflavor Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 The list goes on! Let's add to it. What sucks donkey dong about BP? Not being able to work (very much at all) and not being able to explain to those closest to me why I can't. I simply don't have the energy and can't handle the stress but that doesn't do it as far as explaining it. Waiting at least a year and a half to see a judge for disability. Depression depression depression. Can't find a drug combo that helps. Resigned to just trying to treat the symptoms, knowing that treating one symptom, like anxiety, will make another symptom worse, like lethargy. Anxiety is worse than lethargy. Man, now I'm more depressed just writing this stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chinacat Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Taking jobs that appear (to me) to be absolutely perfect, then quickly brought down to earth by my own conduct--I sabotage all the good stuff. And nothing is ever perfect, especially me and the jobs I find, Which leads to the next bad thing--getting fired. I have been fired so often you'd think I would be insensative to it, but I'm not, and it sux. Now, not every time was my fault, but of course I blame myself Wondering what the people at the pharmacy think when they fill all those "psych meds" for me-- china--who has taken pain meds and now retires. P.S. Doc appt. Wed--cross your fingers and toes that the brace will go, and I can start LIVING again, and driving. P.S. #2--Alberto is here, wimp that he is--we need the rain. Just the first--- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilie Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Hating people/loving people/hating people/loving people-then having to work with them-until I can't/ agoraphobia/alcoholism/hating the sun/wanting to be dead most of the time/money that disappears as soon as I get it/the IRS/... oh hell I'll stop now lilie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheshireCat Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Not being able to work for the past two years. My graduate school program being stalled for the past three years and I'm in overtime now and everyone is trying to be all supportive and stuff, but I know it's getting to be just pathetic at this point. Come close...no get away from me, I'm poison...no, I totally love you...no I think I'm lower than the dust on this desktop, don't ever talk to me ever again...I can't live without you, do you hate me? Yeah. Relationships with me suck ever so much. My neighbors wave and smile, but they won't let their kids play with my kid anymore since I went nuts the last time. And I'm with you China, I hate going to the pharmacist, too, wondering what they must think...one time, this sweet female pharmacist whispered to me, Are you doing okay? and smiled nervously. Oy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
betcsu Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 screaming like an idiot and my husband and kids who mean more to me than anything. then feeling depressed for days afterward out of guilt. not being able to do simple things knowing i most likely will get overwhelmed. and also knowing i used to be able to do so much more with ease. but also knowing the many times i took on a gazzillion projects only to end up with most of them getting only 2/3 complete and then im left with the piles and piles of stuff and not knowing where most of it came from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 "My neighbors wave and smile, but they won't let their kids play with my kid anymore since I went nuts the last time." Yep - I know that one, it sucks to hell seeing your child being treated different because of you. That I would say is the worst for me personally. After that, seeing how your once close friends dont see you as you anymore, thats crap too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little-Blue-Elly Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 "My neighbors wave and smile, but they won't let their kids play with my kid anymore since I went nuts the last time." Yep - I know that one, it sucks to hell seeing your child being treated different because of you. That I would say is the worst for me personally. After that, seeing how your once close friends dont see you as you anymore, thats crap too. Sorry - that was me not logged in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unregistered Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Lurching from crisis to crisis, living in the aftermath of stupid, stupid actions and decisions. Not being able to meet the bills, but being the proud owner of a fine collection of worthless, useless crap. Bluffing your way into a job you can't handle, then trying to stay on top of it before you get fired again [- edit - ] while those around you are depending on your income [ - /edit - ]. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loon-A-TiK Posted June 14, 2006 Author Share Posted June 14, 2006 I'm relieved that everyone else gets fired and hates the pharmacy, and it isn't just me!! LOL I always wonder if they judge me or know i'm a total nut case when they're filling Lamictal, Zyprexa, Lex, you name it! I have no kids, but adults stay away from me and i get fired over being BP in mania, i couldn't tell you the NAMES of my sex partners, let alone how many i've had... all this sucks ass! China put it very well, as did everyone else! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 My job is secure as long as nobody figures out I don't do it anymore Tommy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loon-A-TiK Posted June 14, 2006 Author Share Posted June 14, 2006 Tommy- Being a librarian seems to give you a good cover for being MI. As you say, being a librarian makes you weird anyway. Total job security, as long as no one figures out you don't do anything anyway, except add your aura to the ambiance of the library! You add to the weirdness factor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 WEll, I do have to answer the occassional really complex reference question, or make up the answer Tommy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loon-A-TiK Posted June 14, 2006 Author Share Posted June 14, 2006 it is the fact that you know the library well enough to do that that makes you weird already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Too true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel1 Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 I try to pick up my meds the same time on weekdays, because there is a very nice woman who doesn't look at me with fear or disdain. She is always nice. As far as jobs, I am an unemployed teacher. At the end of this school year, my principal told me she was not renewing my contract and gave me some bull$@#$ reason. Last school year, I flipped out-AT WORK-had to take medical leave for the last 4-5 weeks. My principal then told me he was not renewing my contract because "I had too many issues". I'm glad i'm not the only one. I can't imagine doing something else. I wonder if the neighbors have heard me yell at my kids or freak out? (I haven't freaked out in a while). I can't imagine what my life would be like if I was not BP,etc.(etc., etc., etc,.) mel1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loon-A-TiK Posted June 15, 2006 Author Share Posted June 15, 2006 I try to pick up my meds the same time on weekdays, because there is a very nice woman who doesn't look at me with fear or disdain. She is always nice. As far as jobs, I am an unemployed teacher. At the end of this school year, my principal told me she was not renewing my contract and gave me some bull$@#$ reason. Last school year, I flipped out-AT WORK-had to take medical leave for the last 4-5 weeks. My principal then told me he was not renewing my contract because "I had too many issues". I'm glad i'm not the only one. I can't imagine doing something else. I wonder if the neighbors have heard me yell at my kids or freak out? (I haven't freaked out in a while). I can't imagine what my life would be like if I was not BP,etc.(etc., etc., etc,.) mel1 you are too much mel! while i haven't lost it at work, i have lost it at home many, many times, causing my family to really rethink their contract with me! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bipolarbeary Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 What sucks? To start with... Finding a med that helps immensely but makes me fatter - I'm already obese, I don't need this crap! Having to increase the dosage of another medication to try to counteract the weight gain and hoping that it'll actually work the way I want it to. Alcoholism. Credit ruined before I was 21. Can't keep a job, a relationship, or live in the same place for more than 2 years. Being antisocial because people suck and all they do is lie, cheat, steal, and otherwise intentionally hurt me. Paranoia. Knowing that I will feel like this the rest of my life. Failed suicide attempts. Scars from self-injury. Quitting everything I begin. Failing classes. Knowing that I can't handle the classes I need to get my dream job in pharmacy. Oh, and I'm going to be a librarian too! Which is a good thing, because it's something I know I can do. And I'm weird to begin with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loon-A-TiK Posted June 16, 2006 Author Share Posted June 16, 2006 What sucks? To start with... Finding a med that helps immensely but makes me fatter - I'm already obese, I don't need this crap! Having to increase the dosage of another medication to try to counteract the weight gain and hoping that it'll actually work the way I want it to. Alcoholism. Credit ruined before I was 21. Can't keep a job, a relationship, or live in the same place for more than 2 years. Being antisocial because people suck and all they do is lie, cheat, steal, and otherwise intentionally hurt me. Paranoia. Knowing that I will feel like this the rest of my life. Failed suicide attempts. Scars from self-injury. Quitting everything I begin. Failing classes. Knowing that I can't handle the classes I need to get my dream job in pharmacy. Oh, and I'm going to be a librarian too! Which is a good thing, because it's something I know I can do. And I'm weird to begin with. don't i know! i've never been an alcoholic and i had decent credit until i was about 23, and i'll never fulfill my ultimate fantasy of being a librarian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stasis Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Err, I put mine in The Celebration Thread. Stasis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wonder Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Oh, and I'm going to be a librarian too! Which is a good thing, because it's something I know I can do. And I'm weird to begin with. Wow, there are a lot of us here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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