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I hate to admit it-I think nice chatty neighbors suck


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See when I moved into my new place a few months ago(still beautfiully winter) I was manic. So every conversation was :"Hey how are you? How are the kids? What's going on in your life? blah, blah, blah. Now summer is here and I hate everyone. So now my neighbor bangs on my door to see if I'm home to chat and I hide out. I started it and I know I suck but I still hate it.

People make me tired... ;)

lilie

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Hello!!

You don't suck at all. If you don't feel that you are up for talking with your neighbour, then I don't think you have to talk or feel that you should have to.

Could you answer the door to them and tell them you are busy instead? That way you could remain friends with them for when you do feel like talking to them and not make them feel as though they are been ignored. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your neighbour.

This sounds like a tough time for you right now. I hope you feel better soon.

Take care!!

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Better yet, answer the door naked.

Er, that might encourage even more friendliness.

I used to have a neighbor that accosted me every time I walked outside and she just would not shut up, regardless of how stand-offish I was. She didn't have a clue and obviously couldn't recognize a social phobe if her life depended on it. And it very nearly did because I felt on the verge of committing murder more than a few times. Thank goodness she moved.

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See when I moved into my new place a few months ago(still beautfiully winter) I was manic. So every conversation was :"Hey how are you? How are the kids? What's going on in your life? blah, blah, blah. Now summer is here and I hate everyone. So now my neighbor bangs on my door to see if I'm home to chat and I hide out. I started it and I know I suck but I still hate it.

People make me tired... ;)

lilie

I hear ya sister!!!!! I hate neighbors!

If you talk once to them they think they have the right to come over anytime. I open my garage (garage door opener)

They wave I wave back, pull my car in and click the garage door opener as fast as I can.

I think that gave them the hint

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Heya Lilie,

"Do you *SEE* a stethoscope?? No? Then I'm off-duty, don't *call* me that. <big toothy grin>"

Shuts them up.

Eh. I learned how to talk about the weather. "Yah, it's cold, wait ten minutes, heheh."

Or, "Yah, it's not so much the heat, as the humidity." Which is true, but who cares, it shuts them up or makes them talk about their allergies so I don't have to do more than smile and nod.

--ncc--

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Lol Herrfous you can come by and chat. Just don't be freaked out by the glazed eyes and hair sticking straight on end :) Thanks guys for all of your help. If it comes to it I may use every suggestion you've given me ;)

Lilie

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 8 months later...

I don't really like talking to my neighbors either, and I feel guilty that I don't say 'hi'. I guess it just depends what mood am in, but more often than not I'd really like to just be left alone. And then there's the times when I'm expecting them to say hi, or at least start a conversation because I have every intention of trying to be neighborly. When they don't, the paranoia steps in. ;)

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  • 7 months later...

i have found that it cuts both ways. experience enough isolation and if your head isn't screwed on well enough then your wig will flip.

I'm with Mac. There have been days I was happy for any human interaction. Of course, I'm lucky enough to have neighbors who know how to do the 3-minute "how are ya-nice to see ya- take it easy" chat. I know their names, and if I need to knock on their doors for something they're kind, but otherwise they aren't too intrusive. Some of the neighbors you guys are describing would drive me right up the wall.

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As some of you know, my housemate, Lester, has a developmental disability. New neighbors moved in across the street. He's obsessed with them. He made welcome cookies for them. He made me go over to say hi and give them the cookies. The neighbor was very happy and talked about how people aren't friendly anymore. Meanwhile I'm climbing out of my skin as Lester is having a piece of pie she offered.

I like to wave to my neighbors as I'm leaving my house or coming home. That's it. Meanwhile, he's outside whenever they are outside to say hi. I hope they remember he has a disability and is not a stalker. I always see him staring out the window at their house. Thank god he doesn't have binoculars.

So for neigbor-phobes, be glad my housemate isn't your neighbor. ;) I'm just repeating the story because I think it is funny. But Lester is an awesome guy who just likes to keep an eye on the neighborhood and be friendly.

Oreo

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  • 2 months later...

I don't really like my neighbors either they are so nozy, from what i heard, they look at my family with a flashnight at night through there bathroom window through our bay window in the living room. LOL. They also always stare at us when we are outside(smoking a butt, or having a couple of drinks, or when someone is working on something outside. etc) The only thing that i hate is feeling i am always being watched, and the fact that they have a couple of tractors and stuff and only plow the other neighbors next door out. I mean I know that we aren't innocent or have our share of problems but come on now we haven't done nothing to deserve this treatment. And lol, my other neighbor lets his huge dogs run about the neighborhood, which i am totally afraid of. Alrighty then, lol, i am getting tired. So i guess i probably would like it if they were a little more friendly but nothing to dramatic, just keep the peace. ;)

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Better yet, answer the door naked.

i had a roommate/coworker once. after telling her i was going to be home in a few hours and asked her SPECIFICALLY to leave the dead bolt unlocked so i could get in later, she locked it. she didn't answer the doorbell. i ended up pounding on the door to get her ass up.

she was stark naked when she opened the door wide. strangely, she was pissed off. about two months later, she quit her job and moved thousands of miles away.

she was a trip. a really bad trip.

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I live on the edge of nowhere. Really. Off the edge of the acreage: hundreds of thousands of acres of "game refuge." It sounds like WW I on the first morning of duck season, but it's fine otherwise, and the hunting is good...

Mr. Silver and I walked the dogs out our road right after we bought this house.

Neighbor stops. Says "Hi." We chat briefly. He's clearly making sure we're not going to be trouble. Naw, we just target shoot off the porch sometimes, dude, like everyone else... We swap phone numbers.

"Stop by if you need anything," says Mr. Silver, before I can stop him.

The neighbor looks at him and says, "You know, everyone round here is here because we don't have to talk to a lot of people. You get that, right?"

We meet our other neighbor, the veterinarian. We swap numbers. There is no discussion of "dinner some time." There is discussion of "how we rotate turns on the road grader." The keys are on top of the right front tire. "No need to knock or come to the house. Just take it."

Yes. We are never selling this house.

I mean, if our furnace died and the stove didn't work blah blah, they'd take us in. Some years banana bread is given and cookies are received. When the livestock gets out, people catch it and contain it. But there is no chit-chat.

I love it.

My definition of "financially OK enough to make school worthwhile" was 1) not having to talk to my neighbors and 2) being able to buy hardback books without agonizing over it.

When I was in school and we lived in town in another state, we had VERY chatty neighbors. I learned to just 1) see it as an observation experience and 2) slap my phone/pager and pretend I had an urgent call vibrating away.

One day my phone/pager/whatever I had actually did go off (on vibrate) and my neighbor said, "Oh, gosh, it doesn't usually buzz." I mumbled something about a new case for the device and took off fast.

Lester wouldn't bother me, and I don't know why. Maybe the same reason the neighbor's kid doesn't bother us when she comes over and gazes at the horses... Less social pressure?

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You guys should all move to NYC - nobody talks to anybody...you'll sometimes get an inaudible, garbled "hello" (or maybe it's a "fuck you" - who knows?)...but that's about it. We live in a "nice" building - nice meaning that the people are nice - we take each other's packages in when our neighbors aren't home and when they come knocking for 'em, we say, "hey, how you going? here's your box". That's pretty much it...since most of the people have lived here for over 10 years, sometimes we'll chat in the laundry room...but that's IF people feel like it...NYC has been a lovely utopia for me.

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