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FEAR OF HAVING MY BACK TURNED


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Hiya-

Sitting here at the library writing to all of you, I have my back to the rest of the room and I am facing a glass wall. I have no mirror to see behind me.

This freaks me out! I almost didn't take this spot that they told me I could have because I can never have my back turned where I can't see behind me.

I am actually shaking, like I need Klonopin or something (did forget my afternoon dose)

I know it is a bit odd.

Do you have this issue or other weirdo issues?

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and NOW, they're talking about me, i'm sure of it. she's been here already today, using up time limits on LIBRARY COMPUTERS...yeah, the girl in the tanktop and green skirt...

shut up voices, real and imagined, shut up voices!

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Hello!!

I get this issue too. I hate not having my back to something. I need to be able to see behind me if I don't. If I'm in a restaurant or anywhere public that I have to sit down, I hate not been able to see everyone. I have to know where people are looking. It makes it even worse if someone looks at me once, especially when I first sit down, and then looks away once I turn my head. I can't stop glancing at them every so often to check if they are looking at me again. People talk about me too, I'm sure of it. I've no idea what they are ever saying though, but I can make a guess usually.

Take care!!

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Opposite... I prefer not to look at anyone or see anyone to feel OK when I am not OK..

Should I see someone stare or dare say something about me... The dormant volcano erupts..

I have absolutely no problem with telling a total stranger off, if I feel my privacy is being violated...

Yah I am nuts..

Oh and don't even try to sit in my vacant chair in the theatre or an auction.. You will have to leave.

Yah did that too. Very eloquently spoken but agressive and offended...I am still working on the anger bit..

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When I go outside for a cig, I sometimes feel very strongly about keeping my back to the wall. I don't like being around people at all, ever, it freaks me out. Sometimes it's just bad enough that I'm walkiing around the front of my house 007 style. ;)

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I don't think it's odd at all. It's "safer" when you can see everything that's going on. Some people just feel that need for security more than others. I know lots of 'normal' people who hate having their back turned towards doors and the like.

I get that way sometimes & I try to separate myself from the group and create my own little corner. It's not the people so much (with me) as it is that I fear that something bad will happen & I won't know it and I'll get hurt.

Irrational - yeah.

Harmful or Crazy - no.

Do what you need to in order to feel comfortable. There's nothing weird about needing that.

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My best friend has always had to have his back to the wall no matter where we went so he could see everyone coming and going. He'd joke it was his chicago gangland upbringing (he was a sweet wuss) but that was just his way.

lilie

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My best friend has always had to have his back to the wall no matter where we went so he could see everyone coming and going. He'd joke it was his chicago gangland upbringing (he was a sweet wuss) but that was just his way.

lilie

THAT'S IT! It was my urban Cleveland upbringing! When you can't blame Canada, blame Cleveland.

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I always try to sit in the back of a restaurant facing out. I also hate being back-lighted, like when someone turns on the courtesy light when you're in a car. That one really bothered my first wife.

And always remember, keep the engine block between you and your adversary, pretend adversary I mean ;)

Tommy

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I spend most of my work time in a cube and I just hate it when someone enters my cube without asking, just because there's no door. I'm also not big on the guy in the next cube over "prairie-dogging" over the top of the divider. It may be a cube-farm, but I should have some privacy.

Tommy

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I spend most of my work time in a cube and I just hate it when someone enters my cube without asking, just because there's no door. I'm also not big on the guy in the next cube over "prairie-dogging" over the top of the divider. It may be a cube-farm, but I should have some privacy.

Tommy

I agree Tommy. When I do work and have a cube, I prefer my space and privacy. The last place I worked for had a little table-island thingy between me and my neighbor so we could work together or something. We both just put our crap on it and piled up more crap. Computers and parts and tools here and there! Come on, we were info systems analysts, like we'd really want to socialize!

(BTW- I'm the rare outgoing, female IT worker)

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I have to agree with the horde of people here who hate having their backs turned. I think part of it for me is that it's really hard for me to understand people when I'm not looking at them, but of course it's mostly just paranoia. Something Bad could happen when I'm not looking. I always sit in the back of the classroom, and for this, teachers hate me. (heh, funny story. so my math teacher, who I never got along with anyway, noticed one day that I was in the very back of the classroom and no one else was in the row beside me. there was an empty spot closer to the front, so he motions and suggests in a commanding-question sort of way that I move over there. you know the type, they say "how about you move over there" but are understood as saying, "go over there now." I smiled and nodded and said that I was just fine where I was, thank you. totally polite, but totally catching him off guard. ha.)

and as a sidenote, I hate the voices in my head -- the ones that tell me that everyone hates me. we should send ours together skipping into the sunset. ;)

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  • 1 month later...

Sitting here at the library writing to all of you, I have my back to the rest of the room and I am facing a glass wall. I have no mirror to see behind me.

This freaks me out! I almost didn't take this spot that they told me I could have because I can never have my back turned where I can't see behind me.

I think it was the time that I walked past a guy carrying a rock.

I mean, surely he must have some good reason to be carrying a rock. It's a free country, people can carry rocks if they have to.

I woke somewhen later with a screaming pain in the side of my head.

These days I seemed to be a trifle edgy.

These days I cross the road if I see someone I feel I can't handle coming towards me.

I can't concentrate at work in the cubicle farm when they move behind me.

I like my back to the wall and to be in a position to see entrances and exits.

And this happened decades ago.

I, and you, will probably live longer.

At least until we die of stress related diseases. :-)

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Loon- I have that same phobia....especially in school. Also in all of my classes I have to sit in the seat closest to the door. And in my bed I sleep right on the edge of the side closest to the door (even in hotel rooms, etc)....im trying to figure out what im afraid of !!!!

~Sebrina

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