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After you're out of the hospital


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So I shook some people up when I went into the hospital. I have been for the most part self-sufficient, and when I actually had to be hospitalized a few weeks back, lots of pulling together had to be done. I resisted going before because I told them,

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I stayed with a friend for a while. After that I was totally on my own, and I didn't cope well at all. I quit taking my antipsychotic meds because I was convinced that they were evil. My life basically fell apart for a year.

So, you're doing really great.

Call up the guy who offered to mow your lawn.

I know how hard it is to ask for help, but if you have friends who might be willing, go ahead and ask them. Or you might call around and find a church that is willing to help with household chores, grocery shopping, and such. Just say you're recently out of the hospital. You don't have to say why.

Doing it all on your own is tough. I hope you get some assistance.

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My wife helped some, but I always go back to work too soon and ended up having to take an additional 3 weeks off one time. My wife is helpful for about two days then starts to get a little tired of my whiney, bipolar ass. That's usually my incentive to go back to work; either that or the lists of thiings she wants me to do around the house which are more work than work itself.

Get all the help from friends that you can.

Tommy

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Thanks, guys.

It is hard to reach out. I just don't want to be a burden don't you know.

I could see this bringing me down. Before I went into the hospital, I felt I had three options. One was go to the hospital. You know what the second one was. But the third option was just saying the hell with it and stop taking my meds. Then I wouldn't worry if I was being a burden on anyone.

I guess it is up to me to take the initiative. I'm glad you know y'all think I should.

Sam

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Sam, I have the same dilemma sort of in that I will be having surgery soon, and I will need help when I come home. Not to mention that I'd kinda like someone to visit my ass in the hospital.

I've been putting off calling anyone and asking for help, because I fear that the answer will be no. Tomorrow I need to MAKE myself call the church I used to go to.

I don't have family, except for one bitch cousin, who didn't even come see me when I was in friggin ICU and nearly died. So, I'm not even telling her about the friggin surgery.

One very nice friend, whom I've not even known that long, has offered to help me in any way she can, ie. keeping Reggie while I'm in hospital, letting me stay with her when I come home or her even staying with me. She has also offered to cook stuff for the freezer for me. Now THAT is a kind friend.

The "friends" I've known for decades haven't offered to do shit. In fact, at my bday party, I said twice to the group that I would be turning to them to ask for help with the surgery. I got silence and subject change. WTF is up with that? Did they just not hear me? Well, the one sitting next to me, surely heard me, and I've known her since I was 9, but she's always been a selfish little twit.

So, now that I've thoroughly depressed you :) I do hope you reach out and ask for help. You might have better friends than I do and you'll be pleasantly surprised. OR, like I mentioned, find a church. You'd be surprised, but people often do call on churches that they've never even attended. That happened pretty frequently at the church I used to attend, so I hope and pray that they will help me this time.

Gah, shut up, Libbby. I've had too much coffee!

Let us know how you're doing, SAM!! ;)

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Yeah, no one visited my ass in the hospital, either. Nor the rest of me!

That's funny about your relatives and friends. A selfish twit and a bitch cousin! I haven't even thought of my second cousins that live here. They all have their own problems, that's for sure. I have heard a lot of, "Make sure to let me know if you need anything bye!" before I can even say I need anything.

I guess you aren't having some sort of MI surgery, and it sounds like you will have some ambulatory difficulties after you are released.

Move here and we can take care of each other. I'll have some company and someone to do stuff for, and I can cook food and stuff. You know, it really is sad. I know for a fact that I have more friends I've met online that would help me than friends IRL. At least ones that live near me.

Good luck on your surgery and happy belated birthday! Someone will come through for you for sure.

Sam

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If I ever had to go back, I don't think that coming home would be an easy transition. I'd feel the pressure from work calling me back, and my husband, who works 11-7 would do the best he could, but he gets irritated with me being semi-nuts for more than a week, so I can't imagine how he'd react to me being nuts enough to go to the hospital.

I don't have any friends. Seriously, the only people I could remotely call friends are acquaintances at work. When I was in the hospital in Janaury with my asthma, one of them came to see me. I was amazed.

I wouldn't tell my parents. They, especially my mom, would be all weird.

I guess would be pretty much on my own...

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Sam,

I can relate to a lot of what you said. I just wrote a post about how my life is STILL falling apart and time doesn't stand still while we try to get our sanity. It sucks. I have respect for you returning to work, I know I couldn't handle such pressure. I don't know what to say but I'm here reading.

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I've been an inpatient 5 times and know all about this transition.

It is best when you have your family/friends (who will be helping with your transition) come in for a group low-down session before you are discharged. that way everyone knows what to expect.

In your case, you need to set your boundaries and let them know that "hey, just because i'm out of the hospital does not mean i'm ok!". you need to know it and be firm with it and say it. will the yard looking like shit actually matter? how many of these things are so dire that they are worth your sanity?

What kind of mother or person will you be if you can't take care of yourself? allow yourself that precious time to heal and you'll create a better life for everyone.

all the best,

loon

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Yeah, going back to work has totally sucked. I was really tired on Thursday, when I went back, but Friday was good. We had a weird state holiday yesterday and I didn't have to go in yesterday so here is day three. I left at the absolute worst time of the month, and everyone had to do my work for me. Some of it was in my computer like word docs that they couldn't get to, and some of it only made sense to me. Anyway, there is a lot of resentment here, and the only ones really worried about me are the ones who didn't have to work my cases.

And I am not just picking up a vibe. I have been told to my face.

I thought going to the hospital and working on my meds and going home getting over the tiredness side effect was going to mean I was okay>

A coworker made me cry today. That's how it all started last time.

And HOLY COW I am CLUMBSY. I trip over myself all the time. Could partly be my new tennies but I don't know. And when I drove today, after being upset, I was NOT a safe driver. I mistook reverse for go forward, I stopped paying attention and almost rear ended two cars.

Why am I not better? As much as I shake it looks like I have Parkinson's. People look at me funny for that. And I am sure they all thought I wouldn't be crying at work anymore but there I was. In the bathroom. As usual.

Well, all kids are gone until Friday. I have a tdoc appt tomorrow and a pdoc appt the next day, so if I can just make it through work.....

Thanks for listening.

Sam

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