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Help...confidence shattered, now what?


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Ok, I'll try and make this not long-winded.

Basically after a year of not working I bit the bullet and went on interviews and found myself what I thought would be a great job. It was so nice just to be working and doing something productive again. The main supervisor was the one who interviewed and hired me...and he seemed to love me! He was assigning me the biggest account they had once I was fully trained (it was place that dealt with sales reps and handling their accounts).

Anyways, my first two days there were great...not much training, just a lot of orientation and meeting people and tours. After those two days the man who hired me was leaving for 2 1/2 weeks. He introduced me to the woman who would be in charge while I was gone and who would also be in charge of training me. She produced a training schedule and showed it to him and all was well. Then, as soon as he was gone everyone started to ignore me. None of the training occurred, I was just relegated to cleaning the desk of the person who was fired before me. And I mean cleaning...it was gross. Then I had to take care of her filing because they didn't know what had been dealt with and what hadn't. I got all that done over two very long days. The next morning I went in and reported to the woman to let her know I was there and ask if we were going to proceed with the training on the schedule or if there was something else she would rather I do (since I was done "cleaning"). She said she should have time for me and would come back in 10 minutes. I sat for 35minutes in my little cubicle with no contact from anyone. Then I get called into the HR woman's office and she says they are letting me go.

Her reason? I wasn't a good personality fit? What the hell is that? Can someone please tell me? I never even got to try the job! I never even got trained. It's just so stupid. Eventually I even got out of her that "no one liked me" and that the decision had been made to let me go earlier which is why they hadn't bothered training me.

I almost feel like maybe people were resentful I was getting a big account...but who knows? I'm just shattered. I couldn't believe it...I think I would have kicked ass at that job and this is my first time ever being fired. And without even getting to try ;)

So, what do I do now? I actually handled it surprisingly well but I have two really promising interviews on Tuesday and I don't want to screw them up. I feel like my confidence is literally shattered. Part of me thinks it must have been ME...something must have shown through and aggravated people...but then there is another part that thinks had the man who hired me not gone away, I'd still be there.

So, any confidence building tips? I even have to travel for one of the interviews so it's going to be pretty stressful.

Thanks.

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Oh, man, that hurts! I don't even know what to say. I hope you can ask the guy when he returns what the hell happened.

Confidence building: Those people were asses, and it's a good thing you got fired, because it would have sucked to work there. Seriously, if they're that backhanded about everything, it would have been a crappy work environment. You deserve better.

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What about the guy who hired you? HE thought you were great.....I'd be tempted to get in touch with him when he returns from vacation and discuss the situation.

It sounds like a strange office, anyway. To have you cleaning, when you were hired to work with the sales force? I dunno, but maybe you are better off not being there.

Now, on to the two interviews. This is what I tell people who are nervous about interviews: find out everything you can about the companies, their products/services, their history, and the trends in that particular industry. Google the companies AND the industries they are a part of. Think up questions about the companies and write them down so you don't forget them if you get rattled.

The more you know about THEM, the more impressed they will be at the interview. They will give you a chance to ask questions, so ask something about the company. What new products are you introducing? Are you continuing to move into this particular market? Will my division be involved in this expansion?

If you want to ask something about your particular job, ask a question that gives them the impression that you're looking ahead. "Will I have the opportunity to move up the ladder?" "Am I supervising anyone?" "Who will be my suspervisor and do I get to meet him/her before starting the job?" A lot of people just ask about hours, salary and benefits, so try to be original so you stand out in their minds.

Smile, look them right in the eye, and wear the best clothes you have that are appropriate for an interview. If you ACT confident, they will think you ARE confident!

Good luck! I wish I could get an interview.... ;) Not too many people want to call in us 50-somethings.

olga

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What happened with the hotel job? Are you still trying to get disability from the old job

Oh wow, thanks for asking ;) I'm surprised you remembered as I had all but forgotten about that and had been so busy working things out with this new job I haven't been on the boards.

The hotel job turned out to be a bit of a joke. The "shadowing" I was going for was actually a group interview ... 7 people for 2 jobs. He planned on spending four hours with us doing testing, skits etc. (I wanted to die when I heard "skits") and then he was going to make his decision at the end of the night. He had us marking eachother's tests when the answers were subjective which I thought was ridiculous, and he ran late. It was supposed to go from 5-9PM and we were there until 11:30PM. Then he said he'd call everyone between midnight and 1AM to let them know.

So already I was feeling a little "iffy" about the job...but I figured at least it was a huge accomplishment to make it through that strange of an interview. Then I spoke with the lady who was on the front desk as I was leaving, and it turns out not a single other employee works in the hotel after 5:00PM. You are expected to handle luggage, plunge toilets/do other maintenance, ... even monitor the pool (they required you to get your CPR certification within 2 weeks of starting at own expense). I just didn't feel safe in that environment. He wanted the person he hired to work a lot of overnights and I thought...how safe is it for a young girl to be going ALONE into some man's hotel room late at night to plunge a toilet or open a window or whatever? Not for me.

Regardless, he called me and said I was his third choice but that it was really close...but that people often didn't work out during training so to "stay by the phone" for 2 weeks. Yeah right. He called 12 times the next day (I was out). I finally spoke to him and he offered me the job. I turned it down. I saw another posting in the paper two weeks later.

Oh, and no, I gave up fighting with the other job. I didn't want to give up but I carefully evaluated my situation and decided it was probably the best thing for me. As much as I didn't want to give in the whole battle was just dragging me down. I've actually felt remarkably better since just letting it all go.

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Oh, man, that hurts! I don't even know what to say. I hope you can ask the guy when he returns what the hell happened.

Confidence building: Those people were asses, and it's a good thing you got fired, because it would have sucked to work there. Seriously, if they're that backhanded about everything, it would have been a crappy work environment. You deserve better.

Thanks for the advice. That's what a lot of people have said...that if the people were like that I'm better off. I think I agree especially since the man who hired me travels a lot...if they were going to treat me like crap everytime he left it wouldn't be a very good environment. And I do intend to attempt to contact him when he gets back, if for no other reason than the fact that I think he deserves to know the kinds of people he is leaving in charge so this doesn't happen to someone else who tries to work there.

What about the guy who hired you? HE thought you were great.....I'd be tempted to get in touch with him when he returns from vacation and discuss the situation.

It sounds like a strange office, anyway. To have you cleaning, when you were hired to work with the sales force? I dunno, but maybe you are better off not being there.

Now, on to the two interviews. This is what I tell people who are nervous about interviews: find out everything you can about the companies, their products/services, their history, and the trends in that particular industry. Google the companies AND the industries they are a part of. Think up questions about the companies and write them down so you don't forget them if you get rattled.

The more you know about THEM, the more impressed they will be at the interview. They will give you a chance to ask questions, so ask something about the company. What new products are you introducing? Are you continuing to move into this particular market? Will my division be involved in this expansion?

If you want to ask something about your particular job, ask a question that gives them the impression that you're looking ahead. "Will I have the opportunity to move up the ladder?" "Am I supervising anyone?" "Who will be my suspervisor and do I get to meet him/her before starting the job?" A lot of people just ask about hours, salary and benefits, so try to be original so you stand out in their minds.

Smile, look them right in the eye, and wear the best clothes you have that are appropriate for an interview. If you ACT confident, they will think you ARE confident!

Good luck! I wish I could get an interview.... ;) Not too many people want to call in us 50-somethings.

olga

Thank you very much for your thoughtful advice. I hope you are able to get an interview...I'm sorry it's hard because of your age. My mom went through something similar in her late 40s after we moved towns...but she persisted for a long time and eventually found something good (hope that helps in some way).

I know a lot about the one place I'm interviewing at so I feel confident I can ask intelligent questions and be well-prepared...as for the other place, it's for an executive hiring agency so they couldn't actually tell me the name of the company, but I've found that's fairly standard for agencies. It's basically a preliminary interview (I've already had a phone one)...and they just decide if I would "fit" well with their company, and then they send me directly to the company for a second interview (at which point I could research the company).

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Man that sounds kinda like a job I had once--got fired after 2 1/2 months and they never did train me properly. But, nobody there really disliked me aside from the supe, who had just got the supe job and was a stupid, cowardly, BS spewing bitch.

At any rate, I wonder about the suddenness of this--and I wonder how they could fire you without the consent of the guy that hired you. I suppose it depends on his hiring authority, but who really knows?

Also I would demand to see my file--they have to put in a reason why they fired you after all; if it's some BS, unfounded, inaccurate reason, I'd say you may have grounds to sue. Me, I would, just cuz I don't like being fucked with, and I like to show them just why they ought not to have fucked with me.

Certainly it's your choice; however, watching them squirm...heh, priceless.

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Gee, you got whipsawed on this job.

THIS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!!! or your performance.

There is something screwed up going on at that company. I would bet that the fellow who hired you had no idea that you were fired. I suspect there is a vendatta between him and the woman who fired you.

It would be interesting to talk to him when he comes back on the off chance that he might feel safe telling you what is going on. But he probably wouldn't.

Again, don't take this personally. There is something fishy going on there.

I agree with you on the hotel thing. And I've never thought much of people who get into head games during interviews. You don't need an amateur psych profile to tell whether someone is good.

good luck

a.m.

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GREENGAL!!

oh myi god, don't let some pinhead wreck your confidence!

you went through interviews by a COMPETENT person who hired you. then, unfortunately, he went on leave and you were stuck being supervised by a POOR EMPLOYEE aka 'pinhead' who couldn't do her own job properly and continue your training. that is unprofessional. nothing less. and then she got you let go. what a dope.

don't worry about it.

from that experience remember that you were interviewed and hired by a competent person who felt you were not only capable for the job but also compatible with their organisation.

don't remember the pinhead. pinheads are numerous and forgettable.

remember that you were hired by someone who knew their job.

someone who knows their job will hire you again. be confident in that.

so go out there and move on to your next job. you'll be okay.

grouse.

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That sucks but they sound so shady that you'd have probably come to hate the job later anyway. Cleaning desks? Weird and sounds like the lady in charge is a power tripper. ugh. Keep trying you'll find the one that suits you best.

Lilie

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I agree with what everyone has said, but just wanted to let you know that I feel for you. No matter what the reason, getting fired is a blow to anyone's confidence. The only time I got fired was when a company I worked for was being sold, and I knew 3 months in advance. It didn't stop me from having a good cry when it happened, though. Even if it's for all the wrong reasons, it still feels like rejection.

Sending strong, positive thoughts your way and wishing you excellent interviews.

Good luck,

Greeny

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I've had much the same issue in the past, and spent literally years trying to make sense of it.

This is the breakdown:

someone hired you who thought you were great.

the new lady had a power trip

others were probably jealous and uninformed of your great talents

it was a waste of their time and yours. you deserve and will get better.

sorry your welcome to the world of work sucked so bad. but the world of work does suck. i go through jobs like candy because i spazz or something. make sure you have enough Klonopin!!! ;)

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That is just plain fucked up.

I can understand why you feel so bad about it though--I would feel EXACTLY the same way. Just remember that you react that way to rejection because of your MI, not because there is something wrong with you. THEY are the ones that have problems.

What is it with office jobs and people with serious personality issues? In my last job my boss and one of my coworkers were uberperfectionist, unprofessional bitches and it drove me crazy.

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